parental alienation and hostility

[BrokenDad]

Hello I am new to this forum from P.A.  I spent over an hour typing my story and it all got deleted so I will keep this short.

Over the last year and a half I have been in an extremely toxic custody dispute where my ex has kept the children from me for 10 out of the last 18 months.  4 of these months a joint custody order was in effect.  Now that school has started I went to pick them up on friday for my week of custody which would only last until sunday and she instructed the school to call her if I showed up.  Now the school has copies of CO and called her anyway and when she showed up with her bf and four other guys they had to call the cops and hide me and the kids due to their hostility.  Police who are personal friends of her father refused to obey the CO they had in their hands and instructed the principal not to let me take them at all if I came back on another day.  I later went back to the school to talk to the principal and he told me they called the police due to feeling my safety was at risk and that the school would issue me a statement for court about the incident.  I told the police it was my week of custody and he simply said "well you aren't taking them today"  " your week starts on sunday"  I said fine and today when i went to get them she didn't bring them and told me that my week wasn't until next sunday, admitting she knew I should have been able to get them from school.  She filed for modification of CO and conciliation is on 9/9.  I am pretty sure she will be ordered to turn them over to me but changes need to be made due to her parental alienation and hostility.  the kids tell me her and bf fight all the time as of their last visit and friends and people around them tell me the same thing.  I have to represent myself due to financial devastation and was wondering what I could do or say to help my case.  thanks, any questions I can clarify will be done.

[snowrose]

Sometimes I would suggest taking someone from the police force with you to pick your children up, but it doesn't sound like that will be working out in this situation.  You might have to move on up to the next level then and put in a Motion of Contempt over at the courthouse.

My guess is that your ex is going to continue to refuse you visitation, though I hope I'm wrong.

[Davy]

It seems to me you have bigger concerns beyond family court if she had 4 friends come to the school and the school had to hide you and the kids for your own safety along with her havin friends in the police force. 

[MixedBag]

You've got problems on several fronts...

1.  Get Divorce Poison and READ it front to back, and then back to front.  NO KIDDING.

2.  File a motion for clarification -- see HOW is the school supposed to know which weekend is yours and which weekend is hers?  Get the weekends defined to be specific.  (like 1st and 3rd, starts from the time school dismisses on a Friday (or Thursday if there is no school on Friday), to Sunday at XX pm (or Monday if there is no school).

3.  File a motion for contempt -- because Mom has been denying contact with the children, period.

Take a friend and video recorder with you whenever you attempt to go get your children.

Enough is enough...

[BrokenDad]

yes, enough is enough.

filed a motion for contempt today, pro se, it was free i didn't know that

also yesterday i went and filed for a pfa and was denied temp pfa but have a hearing for a permanent one on 9/14

2nd round of conciliation is coming soon and i will bring up the contempt charges and that i will not drop them this time.  school told me that me and ex have to keep track of who's week of custody it is. 

I am hoping that with the letter from the principal and the entire office staff as witnesses to friday's events, i will be granted my pfa and it will be enough to show the judge her intentions, i am not sure though as we are going in front of the same judge for the pfa hearing that we went in front of before when he made me drop the contempt charges because he was in the "holiday spirit"

currently they are enrolled in the center city school district which i fought for and lost.  I wanted them in my suburban school district and offered to provide all transportation for her because she doesn't drive.  we both agreed while together we would never send them to that school but because that was the only place they could find a residence on such short notice, she sent them so i wouldn't gain majority custody, it is 50/50 with her having school district

[FatherTime]

IF the police are a part of the problem, go past them to county sherriffs.  The police should be there to protect and not take sides.  The reality of the situation is that police tend to always take the side of the lil' innocent mother and her baffoons.  Family court also is a county court, whereby the county sherriff has more pull in court than lowly police department.  Learn the distinction and it may serve you well.


It's...

FatherTime

[BrokenDad]

are you saying that someone with a problem that would normally call the police about can call the sheriff's department instead and have them respond?  I was under the assumption that the sheriff's department only handled warrants and such, please elaborate on getting them involved.  thank you father time!

[Kitty C.]

Deputy sheriffs are legitimate law officers, with all the powers of arrest as a police officer.  It seems to me that, in larger metropolitan areas, sheriff's depts. often seem more in the background.  One problem you might run into is that if the police dept. and sheriff's dept. are well connected (buddy, buddy), the sheriff's dept. might automatically refer you back to the police dept. 

How high up does this 'friendship' with the ex's father go in the police dept.?  If it spills over to other area LE agencies, you may have to go to the state atty. general, who is the governing body over all state law enforcement, if nothing else but to report the discriminatory actions of the dept.  Keep in mind that many LE agencies will not get involved with custody orders (saying it is a civil matter) but when you have a specific order for pick up, they should be able to assist at least as standby.

[BrokenDad]

well my ex's father owns a pizza shop and convenience store/broasted chicken shop in the city and for the last 7 years, 5 of which i managed the pizza shop, the entire city police department which consists of over 100 officers, about half of which i know on a first name basis because of my time there, do not pay for anything anytime they are on duty.  I know he has gone out drinking with several of them after hours and even loans them money when they need it.  same thing goes with some local probation officers and a few of the local sheriff's deputies.  he also previously was involved in a business arrangement with one of the county judges and i believe the D.A. and several of his detectives.  his wife works for the county commissioners office and has numerous connections with them.  i think the state attorney general would be the best way to go.  he is also comitting other federal offenses where the businesses are concerned.

[Kitty C.]

Wow..........yep, the state atty. general would be very interested in the information you have!  Don't even bother going to the sheriff's dept.........they are obviously also 'in bed' with that entire group.