Joint Custody but definitely not a 50/50 relationship

[aLovingMommy]

Thank you in advance for any advice!

A brief history-
My ex & I never married, we stayed out of court until I moved 30 minutes from our home town in 2008, he served me for joint legal custody.  I hired an attorney to help me and ended up "firing" her, I didn't like they way she went about things and with no explanations & lost a lot of money. I was scared to go to court without representation, as my ex would have his attorney with him. My ex has always been controlling, & manipulative & told me I was a bad mom for moving. So when it came time to go to mediation I gave in to all my ex's requests out of fear. We are now on a 2-2-5 schedule, Mon-tue with dad, Wed-Thurs with mom and alternate Fri-Sunday. My son has been going to preschool 30min. from where I live for two years. I have been picking him up every Wednesday, dropping him off every other Monday & Friday (2 days a week total). Not including driving him to his practices when they were on my days. My ex refuses to drive him to me.

My problem-
My son will be turning 5 soon & attending Kindergarten in 2010 & I am expecting a child in Nov. (I am now married), and I want my son to make friends here where I live and be close with his new sibling. Once kindergarten starts I will be put in a position to drive even more than I do now (& with an infant). I want my son to go to school where I live. I have been actively facilitating the relationship between my ex & I, but I feel like its time to stand up for what I think is best for our son. We have a meditation set for tomorrow, although I don' see him agreeing on any changes at all. So I think I am getting ready for court, any suggestions? 

[Momfortwo]

If you want the kids to go to school by you, then you will either have to get your ex to agree or go to court.  Who is listed as having residential custody?  That will have an impact on the outcome of the case.