Unbelievable...50/50 to suicide attempt and BACK to 50/50?!?!?!?!

[trystero]

I've posted before without much success, but finally getting to the end of what has been a long and painful journey in a complete circle.

Search for posts by me.  You'll find that before Feb 14, 2009, I had 50/50 parenting time with my ex since 2006.  During that time there have been 3 documented calls to 911 made by her all tagged as domestic disturbence all while kids were present.  None resulted in an arrest.  One resulted in husband being asked to leave for 24 hours.  Numerous instances of mother simply leaving the house when fight got bad enough and leaving chlidren behind.  Kids start seeing LCSW based on complaints from mother that son had 'self-esteem' issues.  However, kids have always been outgoing and shining when at my house.  LCSW soon discovers that problem is not with the children but with mother's parenting skills....or more likely, lack there of.  Been on her to take a parenting class for a year and a half and for her to seek couples counselling to work out issues with husband.

Feb 14, she loses it, attempts suicide while kids are in her custody.  Kids call me and I pick them up.

Feb 14-17...mother admitted to mental hospital for observation and protection from herself.

Feb 20....mother calls me requesting to have children back, first for the weekend, and then say's she'll just exercise her full week of parenting time.

WTF?!?!?!  Kids counselor has been saying 'take it slow, take it slow' to both of us.  Or so she told me. 

I lawyer up with 'national fathers rights law firm' and file for suspension of parenting plan given circumstances.  Motion is granted.  Hearing set for 3 months later.

Have the hearing.  I get slated by counselor as parental alienator because I attempt to teach my values to chlidren and it makes mother 'feel bad' because she has different beliefs.  Instances referenced by counselor are all based on heresay.  My lawyer just sits there.  Counselor doesn't say a word about al the stuff that has happened at mothers house leading up to all this.  My lawyer doesn't cross or raise any issues to give some balance to the situation.

Judge doesn't rule, but sets status conference for 60 days or so in the future where the parties are supposed to work together and with LCSW to gradually expand parenting time to see where tipping point is for 'too much' between no overnights and reinstatement of 50/50.

Rock on a few more weeks to set status conference and at first LCSW agrees w/proposed plan to make alternating weekends and floating overnight during the week put forward by me as 'reasonable', then recants and says there should be 'more'.  So more gets put into place, and another status conference is set for late October.

My lawyer says nothing.  I speak up and say to the judge that this unfair to the children, to me and to the mother.  How long are we supposed to drift along to get to permanent orders.  She says (yup, Judge is a woman) I'll just have to deal for a little bit longer.

Now, get word from my lawyer that otherside is positioning for 50/50 reinstatement and that they believe LCSW is in favor of that position.

SO.....$15,000 later, having done NOTHING but follow firggin' LCSW's directions and trying to protect my kids from the instability of the environment at their other house......looking like its all coming back full circle.


Great eff-ing system we have here!

Steps away from washing my hands of the whole thing.  When will it end?  When will there NOT be an issue to fight over?  When will the next time be that she calls 911 or tries to kill herself again?  And when it happens, what do I do?  Nothing?  Great set of options, eh?

I posted here to see if there were ANY legal strategy options or sympathetic lawyer who can help for free?

I am now well in debt over my income, behind on credit cards, and 1 card in good standing is over the limit......can't help but feel screwed.......

[Gestalt]

I would be asking that attorney about his performance. He is ethically obligated to acting in your best interests...it doesn't sound like he did.

[snowrose]

The problem isn't the system, the problem is that your attorney has no backbone.  Truthfully, it sounds to me like you either need to get a new attorney or you should start representing yourself.

If you should ever have something like the attempted suicide happen again, get the children and the very next day file for Emergency Custody.

Document, document, document!  Write down every weird or unusual thing that happens and keep the records.  You want information on when the police have been to BM's.  You want information on what day the suicide attempt happened and how long BM was in which hospital.  Anything that sounds like the children might be harmed by it, write it down!  If BM is on drugs for her mental problems, write it down!  Especially write it down if the drugs either knock her out and she can't function as a parent or if the drugs aren't working for her.

You need more voice in court, and you have to do your best to start telling the judge some of the things that are happening to your children.

[MrCustodyCoach]

The problem is at least as much, if not more, "the system" as it is his attorney.  It is without a doubt very likely that if the genders were reversed, this thread would have a much different outcome.

I've seen all kinds of stories and nothing makes my head spin anymore.