Small Town in Wisconsin

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My husband (we have been married 8 months) legally has 2 daughters from his previous marriage.  The 16 year old was his ex wife's daughter from her previous marriage - my husband adopted her and 9 months after the adoption was finalized - his ex filed for divorce.  He also has an 11 year old with this woman.  I have never is my life (42 years) encountered such an evil spiteful woman and the courts seem to rally around her.  Here is a little background history.  My husband used to work on the road - be gone 4-6 weeks and then home for 2-3 weeks.  He made really good money which his ex wife loved spending.  He met Ms. X got together with her when her oldest was 2.  They had a rocky relationship and were ready to break up for good when oops Ms. X "forgot" to take her pill and became pregnant.  Remember - they were not married at this time, he was making good money - she did not work, had a daughter from a previous marriage whom she did not allow the ex to have contact with  - now her money train is getting ready to walk out the door.  What easier way to keep him around than get pregnant.  They got married about a year after his daughter was born.  Then the fun began!  When he was out on the road she started going out.  When the girls got older they started telling dad about mom always being gone, so did the neighbors, relatives, etc.  They lived in a small community (400) where he had grown up.  The beginning of 2004 he adopted her oldest by December 2004 Ms. X filed papers for divorce.  My Husband had caught on to her sleeping around (sometimes with his relatives), gastly spending habits and cut her checking account deposits back to bare necessities - money to pay all the bills and $100 for entertainment per week.  So they got divorced and she stopped letting him see the kids when he was home and would not let them talk to him when he was on the road.  So he decided to walk away from the big money and get a local job to be home by his kids.  This really enraged Ms. X - no more $500 a week child support checks - aw she had to get a job.  Then the physical abuse started - so the county would take the kids away from her and place them with my husband til she went to anger management therapy and was "healed" - usually 3 months at a crack.  This happened 3 times.  My husband would get visitation until she went off the deep end then the girls were place with him full time and then taken away when she was deemed "all better" by the county social workers.  The last time the kids were taken from her was because her drug using convicted felon for a b/f she was living with was accused by the oldest daughter of molesting her.  So back to my husband the kids were placed.  The 16 year old has been on medication for depression, add, adhd, bi-polar, etc. and counseling since she was 4, the 11 year has been in counseling since she was 4 - mommy's request.  The oldest daughter has taken a knife to her mother (I can almost understand why), attacked the 11 year old, etc.  They are not be left alone in the house together.  The oldest also has her mothers penchant for an unsatiable sexual appetite - she has been having sex since 13.  In 2007 when the courts placed the girls back with their mother the 16 year old then accused my husband of sexually molesting her.  The local authorities investigated as did the county social workers and they dropped the case due to the 16 year olds inconsistencies - she also accused another boy of molesting her at the same time.  This is 3 different people she has accused of molesting her and none were charged.  Since this time my husband has cut off all contact with the 16 year old.  Visitation with the 11 year old was set as everyother weeknd Friday 6pm to Sunday 6pm and extended in the summer.  So, 2004 he adopts her daughter from marriage #3, Dec. 2004 Ms. X files for divorce Mar. 2006 divorce is final.  In between 2004 and the final divorce dad Ms. X accused him of raping her - same as she did with her previous 3 husbands.  No charges filed against him.  Is everyone starting to see a pattern here?  Daughter like mother? After the divorce was final in Mar. 2006 she takes the kids and moves 50 miles away.  So my husband and I start our lives together in beginning of 2008.  Now with my husband we have to do all the driving.  Leave our house to drive 50 miles to pick up the 11 year old at 6pm on Friday - drive back home and do the same on Sunday evenings.  If we would show up at 5:45, 5:50 she would not let her out of the trailer - most times it was after 6 when she released her.  This got real old real fast so we filed the papers with the court to share transportation.  We won - despite her and her attorney's valiant fight - we saved the money and went unrepresented.  Besides this the daughter begged my husband to have her come live with us - remember she has been removed 3 times from her mom's custody because of physical abuse.  So we shell out the $2000 for the GAL and $2000 for the attorney - $4,000 total.  The GAL starts her work - spoke to my husband for maybe 15 minutes throughout her entire investigation.  Never spoke to me, my son, my husband's family, etc.  The GAL meets with Ms. X, the 16 year old, the 11 year old, Ms. X's family, their social workers, goes to their schools, goes to Ms. X home (trailer in a trailer park) numerous times.  One 15 minute office visit is all my husband is afforded.  In Feb 2009 the ruling comes down in the form of a 21 page report.  The GAL is NOT granting us placement AND is taking visitation time away based on what the 16 year old said, the mother said and we found out the 11 year old was telling blatant lies while at her mother's about us.  So the courts told us unless we shell out an additional $2000 the recommendation stands as the GAL reports.  Visitation is down to 24 hours every other weekend no extended time in the summer.  We spoke to the 11 year old about the lies, she claims mom made her say it to the GAL.  Well, I am a realist - we sat her down and let her know that her lies were part of the reason HER visitation with us is shortened.  We also had to chronicle our entire weekend in a notebook that got passed back and forth.  Ms. X would enter 2 sentences about 2 weeks of time and we had to write down everything that went on in a weekend.  The courts are so biased to Ms. X - my husband has NEVER been in trouble, never accused of any physical abuse, never had counseling for anger management.  The only thing the GAL put in her report was that a social worker in 2004 stated he was damaging the kids by telling them what their mother was up to.  The GAL said we also required the 11 year old to keep secrets and that was so damaging. We didn't tell her to keep secrets - we just said that our personal life (My husband and mine) was none of her mother's business, neither was my son's life with his father any of Ms. X's business (she would continually badger the 11 year old for details on us). 
So - we had an opportunity to move to a southern state where my husband was offered an excellent job.  We weighed the options heavily - stay in WI with a crappy unstable job, low pay and no benefits or go south?  It was not an easy decision becuz of the kids (I have a 16 year old) but figured that my son can fly down whenever he wants and his 11 year old could fly with when Ms. X allowed her to.  After all we would only be able to see his daughter 24 days out of the year.  So we moved.  Ms. X wrote out 2 pages of her instructions for my husband - he should call often, have his family call often, etc. so the 11 year old does not feel alienated from the family.  We have been down her 2 months - he has spoken to his daughter 3 times.  Ms. X will not allow her to answer the phone - will not allow her to call anyone.  Ok - so contact the courts - yup - you guessed it!  If we want to do anything about it - hire another attorney and file some more papers.  We are done throwing money into the Clark County Court system to be crapped upon.  So when he does speak to his daughter he stresses how much he loves her and wants her down by us.  We asked if she could fly down 2 different times with my son and Ms. X flat out said no - we haven't been gone long enough.  We have talked to the courts - they will do nothing for us without us plunking down another $4000.  So, if you have to deal with Clark County Wisconsin family court - GOOD LUCK!  Unless of course you are a non-working, physically abusive mother - then they hand you the world.

[Gestalt]

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