father needs help here

[tgastte]

ok, let me make this short and simple; i filed for a divorced last year and we agreed on everything but now the most difficult topic is our custody arrangement..first of all she was the one who left me and my two kids four years ago, so being a responsible dad the first thing i did is put a roof over our head, move them to a new school, give them whatever they need and put them to sports,medical needs etc..in other words i was the FATHER and the MOTHER at the same time while she was out partying, doing dope and also got arrested with dope 2 years ago, living from friends house to other friends house in other words a BUM, while I was taking care of both our kids and going to school part-time and working full time, there was only a handful visits that she did during those 4 years to the kids..now we had a mediation and OSC for some strange reason the judge awarded her $850.00 a month in child support and she doesnt even see or take care of our kids..now in the next month we're gonna have a final mediation and the mediator will talk to the kids (they are 13 and 11 yrs old) and then our short cause trial..i dont even know why the judge awarded her with this amount while im the one who's taking care of them 100%..does the judge always reward a loser, irresponsible parent..i dont get it..can pls somebody help me on my situation with any suggestions or comments..im getting desperate..i dont even have money to hire a lawyer and now they're garnishing my paycheck for the child support...PLS HELP!!!!!!by the way we are both in PRO-PER...thanx in advance and GOD BLESS

[gemini3]

What does your seperation agreement say regarding custody?  If it gives her custody, or if you guys share custody, and you have income and she doesn't, you will end up paying her.

[tgastte]

What does your seperation agreement say regarding custody?  If it gives her custody, or if you guys share custody, and you have income and she doesn't, you will end up paying her.

that was on the first temporary order on our first OSC..50-50 custody but i re-appealed it..and we both didnt agree on the second OSC, so now we had to go for another mediation then the mediator will talk to the kids and then our short cause trial...this court system is killing me...

[gemini3]

CS is based on the current order.  If the temporary order is 50/50, then that's what your CS will be calculated on until the final order is signed by the judge.  Depending on your state, the calculator will use some sort of formula that awards support based on your combined income, and splits it per your custody share.  You can usually find your state calculator online.

The judge is following the law, since you have a 50/50 order in place.  He can't get into the specifics of where the child is when.  That would be covered in your custody hearing.  If you end up with more than 50% custody you can go to your department of child support enforcement and have the CS re-calculated based on your final order.  In my state (VA) you do not have to go in front of a judge to have this done - I think it's that way in most states.

Good luck.

[grtdaddy]

What does your seperation agreement say regarding custody?  If it gives her custody, or if you guys share custody, and you have income and she doesn't, you will end up paying her.

unless this guy makes 500k a year, how could she get 850 a month on a shared custody??

[grtdaddy]

oh and i forgot to add, if he did make that kind of money i would think he would have the best lawyer money could buy, but it doesn;t seem to be the case. This doesn't make sense...

[Kitty C.]

Not necessarily, grtdaddy.........10 years ago I could have had our CS order transferred to CA from IA (long story on how that came about), but I refused to do it.  I only received $250 a month, but I could have gotten almost $600 in CA and that was based on his salary of approx. $40-50,000.  I was working full time at the time at about $30-33,000.  Unless CA has drastically changed their CS requirements within the past 10 years, it wouldn't take much more to order $850, especially if the other parent isn't working.

[tgastte]

so we're going to have a mediation again on nov 20 and our short cause trial is going to be on dec 11..on this coming mediation im going to be firm on a sole physical custody coz the last time we went on mediation the mediator gave us a copy of the report and she put it in there in bold letters FATHER IS GOING TO HAVE SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY and mother has visitation...i know i have a strong case since i took care of both my kids for FOUR straight years without my deadbeat ex-wife..and another note on our court minutes from last hearing that " MAKE THE CHILDREN AVAILABLE AT ALL TIMES FOR THE MEDIATOR OR COUNSELOR TO TALK WITH THEM"..im possitive about the kids that they wanna stay with me coz they saw what i did to them and what ive done for them, im just hoping that the judge and the court mediator will look at all the angle..coz my case is a win win situation in all angles...i will be firm on FATHER SOLE PHYSICAL CUSTODY, MOTHER VISITATION ONLY ON SUNDAY FROM 10AM-7PM, AND NO SLEEPOVER, coz she lives from friends house to friends house with her infant and her boyfriend...thanks for your input and comments...keep them coming!!! i do appreciate it!!