I DON'T WANT TO BE A PART TIME DAD! I NEED HELP

[dkmason1]

For the last 3 months I have been going through a custody battle with my former live in girlfriend.  From the baby's birth she would frequently not come home for days and when she did she was intoxicated.  The last time she did this I took our baby to my mother's house. The former girlfriend called the police to report a kidnapping but they told her nothing could be done since I was the father, unless she filed for a temporary order of protection. She did just that. Her lawyer and her then repetedly postponed that hearing out for over 3 months. The lawyer I had up until today never filed any paperwork requesting visitation or the returning of my belongings. He also stated that there was nothing he could do to speed up the process, and that I needed to agree to whatever my child's mother offered.  When we finally went to court today she got on the stand and began crying and lied about me beating her for over a year, my lawyer said nothing, and the judge granted the full order of protection.  My child's mother will not allow me to see my daughter or return my belongings unless I agree to pay $800 a month in child support (which I can not currently afford due to a severe leg injury) and only see my child every other weekend.  My lawyer bill total for what has been done in the last 3 months (which is nothing) is $5000. I have gotten no where and have run out of money.  I contacted my local Child Services Office and they stated that any paperwork concerning custody must be filed by an attorney. I really need advice or options that I may have.

[gemini3]

First I would file a complaint with the state bar against your attorney.  I am shocked that he didn't do anything during your hearing!!  I mean, what was he there for?  Except to collect $5,000.

Any attorney who tells you to do whatever the other side offers is worthless.  Run, don't walk, the next time you hear an attorney say that!

You have to go and file for custody.  It doesn't mean you will get it, but it does mean that you will have some protection of your parental rights.  You do not need an attorney to do this.

CS - depends on the state.  She would need to get an order before anything can be enforced.  Has she filed for CS, or she just came up with that number on her own?

[MrCustodyCoach]

I wouldn't pay that attorney.  I would file a complaint with the state bar.  As for the rest of your disaster, you're probably SOL because of a lack of funds, the gross misconduct by your attorney, and the resulting order and loss of custody of the child.  That's a hole you may never get out of.

[snowrose]

1) Many judges will give a protection order to anyone (a woman especially) with no evidence whatsoever.  The questions are: a) how long is the protection order for?  And b) is it simply regarding your XGF, or does it include the child too?

2) A protection order has NOTHING to do with you getting the custody of a child.  File for custody of the child immediately and start lining up witnesses as to your good character and what good care you've taken of that baby when you had access to it.

You might also look into filing for Temporary Access (if there is no protection order between you and the child), so you can hopefully continue to have time with the child during the court case so that you're not a stranger to the child.

3) Do not pay the mother any money UNLESS she hands you a court order stating that you must pay her.

4) Most definitely pursue the complaint to the State Bar.  Proving your lawyer's misconduct will help cloud the child's mother getting the Protection Order against you.

Good luck!

[bloom6372]

When she is saying that in order to see the child you have to pay her $800 a month, try to get it in writing (email) to show the Court that all she cares about is the money. If she's willing to drop all of this to get $800 a month, then obviously she isn't too worried about you being near the child. I think it's sick that she is trying to use that baby to get more money than I'm guessing she would be granted (My DH has a 7 y/o that he only pays $350 a month in CS, which is higher than what would be calculated by the state-so $800 for an infant seems like a lot to me).

As for having to have an attorney, you aren't REQUIRED to have an attorney to file paperwork with the Court. My husband has been Pro Se the last 2 of 3 court hearings (and he won both). The best thing you can do is file the paperwork. Check your Courts website online to see if they have the forms online, or go into the Courthouse. I believe the County Clerk can help you get the right paperwork.

And while you are waiting for your Court date, you need to document EVERYTHING. All conversations (date/time), try to communicate solely by email so you can use it in court. Document when you request visits and if it's denied or granted. Get letters of character from people about you and about your ex. Make sure to have necessities for the child where you are living (she may request a home evaluation). Also, make sure to have a "proposed" parenting plan to offer to her, and to show the Court.