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Need adivce, my son and my ex could possibly be danger someday..

Started by ACWhitt, Nov 16, 2009, 07:33:22 AM

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ocean

I agree with Kitty...
You CAN file by you since she just moved. You can FORCE her to return child to homestate. Your state has the control since you still live there. You file with your family court and have everything go through there. File for paternity and custody and an order that child be returned to homestate.

Not sure what you are talking about ...no amount with child support. NO WAY.... unless it is in front of judge and written that way. Child support will not allow an order like that. Maybe what they meant is right now until you are proven to be the father through the courts you can agree to anything BUT if you are proved to be the father they can go back and ask from day 1 the full amount.

Go talk to someone in your home state and tell them you do not want to give other state jurisdiction and you want to file in your home state. You can do this yourself if you educate yourself with the family court system and know what papers to fill out. The family courts will give your or help type the paperwork but they cant give legal advice. You need to tell them what you want and give them some facts to type up a petition for you.

ACWhitt

No,no.no. She and i agreed that i'd pay her child support. She doesn't want to go to child support for some reason unknown to me. I've repeatedly asked her to file for it but she wouldn't do it. I called DHS, and asked them if i could file but they said only she could do this.She hasn't filed for any aid at all fo rher son. No Housing,welfare,and no child support. This is why i say odd. Most mothers are very quick to put there child on cs and other aid.
Maybe its because she recently ( 5mths ago) lost custody of her daughter (12yrs old). Due to being a unfit mother. Her daughter is now in the custody of the grandmother. The father is in the USAF stationed in Italy. When my ex moved into the motel with her first boyfriend she was living on the child support of her daughter.
Her daughter was being cared for in Michigan. Should i mention this in court when i appear before the judge?I am in no condition right now to hire an Attorney. As this is what advice Legal Services attorney gave me , they could only refer this case to the legal aid office in Columbus,GA. I told them they would be moving again soon but i wouldn't know when. My ex is keeping me in the dark.
I called the number she gave me last night so i could speak to my son, hes only 2yrs old. I asked her if she could give me her new address. To send my son a gift card for his birthday this coming weekend. He will be three this 28th. She wouldn't give me a address. She said she didn't know where she was. She just didn't want to give me one. Do i have the right to know the address of where my son is living? And how do i enforce this?
I was told by the Legal aid office in Ark, i just couldn't file this myself woth forms i can get on the web. I would need a attorney. But i can't afford one right now. maybe i should let this all alone. I'm just afraid of what may happen. I have been told that its illegal for her to be with
someone so soon like this. But i haven't read any laws that state she can't have a boyfriend.

Its the moving around and being unstable, no employment, though she says selling her crafts is a job but she isn't paying any taxes. we fought may times over this.I believe her new boyfriend is working but i don't know how long hes had this job. And its very strange they both don't want me or my mother to know the address of where they are living. But she says my son is well cared for and we have our own place. Man i hope shes not living in a motel again.

ocean

ok..forget legal aid....
Go to your family court and ask them where you fill out papers for petitions. You do NOT have to have a lawyer (that is your right). Ask them for:
temporary custody (and if they want you to do paternity to prove you are the father...file that too). In the petition for temporary custody you can write a few facts and ask that child be returned to county until court is over.
YOU can also file a child support petition....

Kitty C.

Whitt, here's the deal........

Looking from the outside in, it appears to me that she's trying to sucker you.  Sure, she doesn't want to file anything or have a set amount for CS and to keep it just between the two of you.  That way when she DOES file, she can tell the court that she's never received anything from you (realize that ANY MONEY you give without going through a court order is considered a gift, no matter how you document it) and they can nail you with a CS order and make it retro, meaning you would automatically be in arrears and Lord knows how much they would garnish from your wages to get it.  Tell her you will NOT agree to private CS, that CS must go through the court. 

But you've also raised another red flag........she's already had one child taken away from her for being unfit?    That alone would be grounds to file for sole custody and I would also ask for supervised visitation.  Yes, you can file yourself.  DHS doesn't know squat about CS, so don't listen to them.  You need to go to directly to the entity who has control over the issue you want to address.  So for getting orders for CS and custody, you need to go through the court.  And if they do have forms available in your jurisdiction on the web, then yes, you CAN do this yourself.  Sounds like Legal Aid might have predominantly females for clients and they're giving you false information to throw you off.

Research, research, research.  Document, document, document.  And don't take the first answer you get as the final word on ANY issue.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

ACWhitt

Ok, so i can do this myself as a PRO SE. I want her to come back to Arkansas to appear before the judge to declare her as a unfit mother-why? Because she keeps moving in with different men. without a job,child support,and unexplained bruises on my son's body. In addition to all this she had her daughter taken away, granting her mother sole custody of her child.
What forms do i need and how do i address these issues in the forms and to the judge, when she appears, if she appears at all.? How do i order her to come back to Arkansas and if she refuses or can't for some unknown reason? What then happens? What forms do i ask for to order her back to Ark, sole custody,unfit mother,abuse,and child support,paternity?
Do i file these all on one form or separately?

Update: An attorney called me this morning and Legal Aid from GA. The attorney stated i should ( of course hire an attorney!); contact legal aid because you cannot afford an attorney ( though she said the case for filing sole custody and paternity isn't that all expensive);explain to them that your son was abused and they should provide you with a free attorney and if they can't, find a student lawyer, who is studing family law and ask him or her to defend your case. About child support; you should be able to file for yourself, contact your DHS.
I called DHS about filing cs for my son and again they told me the lawyer didn't have a clue what she was saying because you don't have custody of your son therefore you cannot file
for cs, she must do so. And present the cs before a family court judge to enforce cs.
Legal Aid called, she said they couldn't provide me an attorney and that they don't handle paternity cases. Well thats fine because i don't want to drive all the way to GA just to establish i'm the father. I know now i can do it here. So i said thanks but no thanks.

ocean

You need to go to your family court and ask for an emergency hearing for custody of child. When you get before judge, you need to say you want custody of child as mother is moving from place to place (if you know how many places, name them) and currently crossed state lines. You want the child returned to homestate and have custody due to abuse and other children have been taken from the home. (you need to prove this...do you have dr , police reports, the other fathers of the other kids to give you information on how they got custody?? open cps case?)

If the other children were removed, why didnt they remove yours? Where is she living now...? address? You or the courts will have to serve her so you need to do some detective work and find out where she is /working?

After the hearing the judge will decided on an order right then (give you temp custody, or make her return for future court date/trial). If she does not show up a few times then the case goes on without her...