Can I move again?

[Davy]

MB; I reviewed the SSRCA.  As expected I found absolutely NO entitlement to provide for a parent entering the military or active duty military to defeat a bio parent's custodial rights or change custody to a non-parent. 

The act does define "Home of record" vs "legal residency" and even the wording of those issues does not appear, if fact further substantiates, the principles of the UCCJA and PKPA.  In other words, the left-behind parent would not be called upon to participate ia a custody hearing in Nova Scotia. Makes sense.

If your post referred to "PC" ........... hopefully that to will lessen in light of the recent events at Fort Hood.   

[MixedBag]

HUH?  Davy, now you really have me confused....

I think you're confusing apples and oranges...

The military -- in my experience -- makes "single parents" have contingency plans in case the active duty member has to deploy and children are left behind that need to be taken care of.  I found myself in that situation a few times....and I had to determine a "short term" guardian, "long term" guardian, and then make sure the proper legal paperwork was in place (many different power of attorneys).  It had nothing to do with being divorced and who or where their father was.....and what family court said.  When I got married again, I didn't need to have a plan anymore because the girls' stepfather was automatically -- according to Uncle Sam -- the person who would take care of my children in the event I was deployed -- or temporarily on duty elsewhere -- etc. 

When a recruit -- civilian -- wants to join the military -- if they are a single parent, for many many years, they were not allowed to enlist.  Rules change -- and maybe now a days -- single parents have to have a plan in place to take care of their kids before they are even allowed to sign any kind of contract to go on active duty.  This Mom is married -- by Uncle Sam's standards, the stepfather is automatically there to take care of all of the children -- his and his step-child's.

It's not in the SSRCA.  It might be in Title 10 of the USC, but my better guess would be that it's in the Personnel Regulations for each branch of the service -- which is why you'll get different answers from the Army, Navy, AF, and Marines.  And if its in Personnel Regulations, the #1 General can change his mind about the policy that the regulation reflects, and bingo it gets changed.  If it's in Title 10 USC, Congress has to change the law.

Home of Record is always the address that I had when I joined the service.  My legal residency changed as I moved around the country and decided whether or not I wanted to change from Indiana to California to West Virginia to Alabama.  It's what determined my driver's license, state taxes, and legal right to file for a divorce. 

Haven't got a clue about your last sentence -- honestly.

But I gotta go back and agree -- I hope she's thinking "officer" side of the house -- as an Enlisted Person -- no matter what branch, she's in for a ..... well, there are positives, so I must stop.

[Davy]

Considerations for the OP : I  reviewed AF and Army policies  and one thing consistent thru out was the requirement of a [HIGHLIGHT=#0c0c0c]COURT ORDER  [/HIGHLIGHT]and not just a "power of attorney" or some other administrative document. 



Think of it this way.  We would be in very serious trouble, and I do mean serious, if the military was able to make custody determinintations impacting private citizens and children.

The folllowing was found on an AF site :

4.23.1. The Air Force recognizes that some individuals, for personal reasons, have given up custody of a

child or children. Transferring custody of family members for the purpose of entering the Air Force is

prohibited and renders the enlisted programs applicant permanently disqualified. It is not the intent or

desire of the Air Force to require any person to relinquish custody of his or her children to qualify for

enlistment. Therefore, recruiting personnel must never counsel such applicants to intentionally change

their marital or custodial status for the purpose of enlistment qualification.

4.23.2. Single member parent applicants who, at the time of initial processing for enlistment, indicate

they have a child or children in the custody of the other parent or another adult will be advised and

required to certify that their intent at the time of enlistment was not to enter the Air Force with the

express intention of regaining custody after enlistment. These applicants must complete an AFRS IMT

1328,

Statement of Understanding for Single Member Parent Having Dependent(s) in the Custody

of Another.

[/B][/FONT]

4.23.3. Advise applicants that, if they regain custody during their term of enlistment, they will be in

violation of the stated intent of their enlistment contract. They may be subject to involuntary separation

for fraudulent entry unless they can show cause, such as the death or incapacity of the other parent or

custodian or a change in their marital status from single to married

I REALLY HOPE THIS HELPS ........
[/FONT]

[reshawn]

Just wanted you all to know that I told the father that I was leaving for the army in January and he instantly said our daughter is coming to live with me right, I laughed in his face and said I wasn't giving up custody to him, he claimed he wouldn't ask me to, to just let him keep her, he must thinks I'm a fool!

So anyway I went straight to the court house after the conversation, filed for modification of our order.  I was told because I'm not asking to change the visitation schedule I just need to change the wording of the order to say that my husband will become the facilitator and maintain my custody while I'm away at basic, of course once I get my duty station I'll have to mod again, but that's how the paralegals said it will be done, because they just had a military case that went the same way, the grandmother actually became the facilitator though...
So thanks for all of the advise, it helped me so much!

[MixedBag]

Davy -- see she is NOT a single parent -- she is married -- so the regulation references do not apply.

HOWEVER she is not married to the father of her child.....so she still has to ask family court to allow her to move with the child which the military is going to make her do.

So....when she is not with the child and can not personally authorize medical care (for example) because she is temporarily out of pocket (in basic training, temporary duty, or deployed), the STEP-parent steps in.

IF she becomes a single parent AFTER enlistment -- like she divorces step-dad/dad, they will not kick her out.

They will tell her to invoke power of attorney's to have another adult temporarily take care of her children.

Your reference applies to single parents who want to INITIALLY enlist......and then that policy changes as the wind blows and as they need recruits because regulations reflect public law and policy.

[Davy]

MB - The AF policy 4.23.1 does not reference single parentage but does reference custodial rights.  At the same time, I have never seen the term "facilator" referenced or defined in custody determinations but as used does define PRIMARY custodial rights to a step when the natural parent is the only parent with standing.   This is different than an NCP's family maintaining visitation rights EOW while a combat soldier is deployed.

Further, the OP reference was to paralegals PC social policy and may change substantially if the father contests and everybody follows the custody standards and military policies.

Afterall, the military does not want to deal with sending a 6 month pregant mother of four into combat and combat is the reason the military exists .... not as a federal jobs program.

BTW, last August some celebrated 40 years since Woodstock and 109 soldiers died during that 4 day event.

[ocean]

While you are away the father should get temporary custody to you get back. (especially since you are moving twice in the next year...you cant say child will stay in same school/daycare).
You husband is her step father and has no legal rights in family court. In my home state, I have seen that the other parent takes custody especially if they lived in same area and keep child to what is familiar to him.

Why cant her Dad take her while you are away? He wants to, and he is the bio parent and if you were still married he would be the one to take care of you. You can do a reverse visitation to step dad while you are gone so child can still visit him and your family.

If Dad has a good lawyer. he will use that your family is close by to him, child can stay in same town/area as now, not have to move two times.... might be better to talk to a lawyer and see what really happens in the courts by you about this. This court is already not allowing you to move.... Might be in the best interest to make a deal with dad and let her have her and get a good visitation plan going or you might loose her going to see step dad in court.

[MomofTwo]

Ocean,
If you go back to the original post, there was a proven sexual misconduct by the father which complicates this case very much. I believe what you are saying would be standard had that not occured. 

[MixedBag]

Davy -- once again -- the entire referenced paragraphs you pulled over here refer to when a person who is single wants to enlist in the service and they have dependents.  They are not allowed to GET MARRIED or RELINQUISH custody (and then get it back down the road) in order to become enlistment eligible.

And yes, it's to deter the parent (single mother or father) from saying they don't want to deploy because there's no one left behind to take care of the kids.

She is married -- and she'll be able to say "I've been married for quite some time" so the fact that the father of all of her children is NOT her husband becomes a mute point for the purposes of enlisting and all the stuff that comes with legal responsiblity of taking care of her kids.

[Davy]

Sorry MB ... I still say that filing a family plan with the military will not override the father's custody rights or cause the step to have any custodial rights to someone else's child. 

I think that is what you are saying in so many words because someone enlisted in the military.  If this is true, then it would follow that the same could occur if mama got a job as a greeter at Walmart (and that may lessen my opportunities).