live in GF question?

[superdad01]

I will be going to court shortly here to try and upgrade my parenting time to include weekly overnights into shared custody type of situation.

I was reading one of the articles on here regarding "defining substantial change in circumstance" and It alludes me now but I know I read something regarding it being a change in circumatance living with the oposite sex and being unmarried or something of that nature... (if anyone is familiar with it)

My question is I have a live in GF of 3 years.... Would that be a minor or major obstacle in my getting weekly overnights granted to me? I do not know how to fight this argument.

My daughter is very confortable in her presence. They get along great

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[ocean]

Call her your fiance in court...(and that you were living together for xx years). You dont need a wedding date...just that you are together...

[Davy]

I might suggest that this consideration will vary widely from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.

My TX court order stated (without request) something like :

"no unmarried non-family member adults of the opposite sex in the presence of the children" .

[gemini3]

I agree with Davy.  It was used against my husband even though our wedding date was 42 days after the court date (and had been since before he filed).  His ex had secretly gotten married several months before the court date (and kept it a secret from her own children in order to keep him from finding out) just so her lawyer could point at him and say he was "fornicating in the presence of the children".  Never mind that the man she secretly married was the man she committed adultery with.  We were the fornicators as of the court date.  Most people would be shocked at the alternate reality that exists behind the closed doors of family court.

As far as how to fight the arguement - what's the argument?  That you shouldn't have overnights because the GF is there?  Do you have any overnights now?  How old is your daughter?  How old is your agreement?  Not enough info to give solid advice.

BTW - I'm pretty sure there weren't any children present when the fornication was happening, lol.  Just to be clear. 

[mdegol]

Yes, this greatly depends on where you live.  What state are you in?  In some states, it is a bigger deal than in other ones.  Where I am, this is not a big deal.  I would just make sure child has a separate room. 

[superdad01]

I live in Michigan. ( I was unsure on how to search for any of the guidelines regarding my circumstances.)

Yes child has her own room.

I could see my ex trying to make an issue out of it. I am just trying to think of every possible angle she could come at so I have something ready to combat it.

I have a nearly daily parenting time schedule with every other weekend and 3 weeks of vacation during the year as well as a split of holidays etc...

Daughter is now 7 and the order was signed in 2004


The biggest obstacle I can honestly see is my working. It seems if your a man, and you work 1st shift (7am-3pm)
I would be leaving too early. ( I have established a support system in getting the child off to school)

If you work 2nd then your gone all day.

If you work 3rd shift (which I did when order was signed) then your gone all night

It's  just a no-win situation for a man.... If you work too much then your not avaible to be a loving and caring father. if you do not work enough then you are a deadbeat who needs to try harder.

[gemini3]

I think your ex could try, but considering that the GF has been there for 3 years, it would be hard for her to make a big deal over it.  Of course, anything can happen in family court.

As far as the change - you're just asking for more time with the child?  That may be a stumbling block because of the change in circumstance test.  Has something happened that makes the current schedule no longer in the child's best interest?

[superdad01]

As far as the change - you're just asking for more time with the child?  That may be a stumbling block because of the change in circumstance test.  Has something happened that makes the current schedule no longer in the child's best interest?

Yes I am asking for equal time with our child.

The time the child spends with her dad has been diminshed due to fact that the child is now in school, and the fact that I am working a 1st shift schedule now. I am now more avaible for overnight parenting time.

I am requesting a change that maintains my substantial parenting time and grants weekday weekday overnights.

The mother for some reason has issues getting the child to school in the mornings. Excessive absences and tardies.

I don't believe the child benefits from going back and forth on a daily basis. I feel the child would benefit much more by having more consistant uninterupted time with each parent in their respective household vs. being shipped back and forth daily. (we have been doing this for 5 years.)

1/2 the times I have retured the child from our daiy parenting time schedules the mother is not even there, so that is another issue as well. She has ignored the first right of refusal so many times I lost count.

[gemini3]

Sounds like you have a good case.  I absolutely agree about going back and forth daily - that would be hard on anyone.

Good luck!

[superdad01]

Thanks Gemini3...... I'm hoping I got a good case. It's been one hell of a ride over the last few years.

I am now doing my happy dad dance... lol