The R Factor

[MissDesire]

So my boyfriend and I are fairly new to this forum. My boyfriend you may know is Fatherforever, whom all you wonderful people have been giving advice, encouragement and necessary cautions to. And I am sure you have heard of his crazy ex and his two children, whom are stuck in the middle of this hellish battle. We are planning to file for child support and a motion of contempt at the beginning of 2010 for the complete lack of financial help she has given for the children. And our ultimate goal is for Fatherforever to file for sole custody later next year. All we wish to accomplish is to have a safe loving environment that these children can grow up in, and that is being destroyed by the continued actions of R.

Personally, I am new to this world of divorce, child custody and angry, unagreeable parents, but I have fallen in love with a man and this two beautiful boys, so I am in for the long haul! This topic is for idea, opinions and emotions that the following information may elicit.

About 6 months ago I began documenting all interactions that R had with Fatherforever and the children. They became known as incident reports. Since I have personal/emotional ties with the subject matter it is very hard at time to make an unbiased opinion or judgement about a situation. Many of you who read these interactions will find similiarities to problems in your own child custody issues. Please give us honest, unbiased opinions for the following reports. Thank you to all those whom have helped us, and to all those who read this. We will keep you posted as things unfold.

~Des

(The following is the standard outline I created for an incident report, they became more and more detailed as the 6 months have gone on!)


INCIDENT REPORT

Date: 6/30/20   Time: 11:00am

Situation: I sent R a text message about paying some money towards bills and child care ($100), she refused.

Action: I reminded R of contributing half to bills signed in our divorce decree as well as her share (35.2%) in child care and education costs for the children.

Result: No answer.

[MissDesire]

INCIDENT REPORT

Date: 7/02/2009   Time: 7:45pm

Situation: I, Fatherforever, and my girlfriend, MissDesire, stopped by R's mother's house to pick up some money from R. The children were supposed to be with her Thursday and Friday as arranged. She told me to take them immediately.

Action: R gave me $100. I took the children home with me. R told me she had gotten kicked out of the house by her mom, because of R's boyfriend.

Result: No babysitter for Friday. Don't know where R stayed that night. Upon arriving home, my youngest son (age 2) exclaimed that their grandma (R's mother) had told both him and his older brother (age 5) that R's boyfriend was a "bad man". I later found out that R had not been kicked out, but left after a verbal fight with her mother, in which the children were present.

~Des

[gemini3]

I'm not sure that I understand the question.

[ocean]

ok..I think the questions is how do we all document....

Just keep a journal about what is going on and have it in order BUT for money situations you should do this:

Date:
Sent certified letter: #  (put in number from green and white paper at post office)
Reference: Daycare for week XXX, sent recipts of that week (copy one for your record)
Certified letter received on:XXX (as per usps.com  ..print out page)

If there are ever police reports or evidence...label time, date, place of tape recordings...(who took it).

Really you dont use most of that in court BUT you can look at it for dates/reference points during a trial. You will use the certified letter print out page that proves she was given the receipts. Those can be evidence.

If she has not paid up...keep a total running record on the letter you send her....(which brings your total owing for daycare up to $xxx.

It takes a lot out of you especially when you start court. SO learn to laugh a lot at stupidity....and take time for you guys...

[MissDesire]

Thank you ocean. We are getting the receipts and all necessary documents ready this month for a contempt motion in January.

And as far as the documenting thing... I was going to start up this topic just for incite as to how to deal with some of the things that my bf's ex has put us and her children through, but I think it confused some people. Anyways, will keep you posted as it unfolds!

~Des