New here - How to get supervised visitation?

[freedomfromabuse]

Newly divorced with domestic violence situation. Father is aggressive and SO angry. He is emotionally abusing our son. It needs to come to an end and I feel so helpless. I have custody but he gets 3 weekends per month visitation. Over the Thanksgiving holiday he left our son in the care of his emotionally unstable brother who left our 6 year old son alone while he ran out to McDonald's. My son was scared and was too afraid to go into the other room to use the phone to call me because somebody told him there were big spiders in that room. My son came home saying "Don't tell my dad, but I was left by myself. I was brave Mom"

As we sat here watching Rudolph tonight he said, yawning, "my dad said I HAVE to call him tonight" See, his dad goes to school to have lunch with him EVERY day so that he can condition him and threaten him with taking toys away or not getting new toys if he doesn't call or do whatever his dad wants him to do. So of course I don't want my son to have to deal with the implications of his father being angry with him so I had him call. I was holding my son as he spoke to his dad and I heard some things they were talking about. They were talking about the stormy weather here tonight then his dad paused for a second and said "go punch something" just like that, out of the blue, for no reason. My son paused and said "what?" then his dad kind of changed the subject to something like "I wish I was there with you right now holding you" That's when I almost threw up and I ended that call as soon as I could. I knew he was a sick man but he is ruining the mind of my baby, who I've been able to shelter from that horrible behavior of his dad because I've always been with my son, every second. Now that I've left him and we are divorced, he has the visitation and he is poisoning his little mind! I am horrified and I don't know what to do. I have worked the entire program with Save A Child and they've recommended counseling for my son but that won't start for months. When I call to update them on what is going on they are understanding but they don't really have any advice besides just wait for the counselling.

I need help. Does anyone know some more resources for me? Is it impossible to get that visitation to have to be supervised?

Thanks for any help.

[freedomfromabuse]

Ex is growing angrier and angrier by the day and he is now harrassing me that I have to leave my home. I told hom that I talked to the police about whether he could do that and they told me that he can't. So, I told ex that if he tried to throw me out I would call the police. He said that is "threatening him". I said that in no way am I threatening him, I am protecting myself by knowing my rights.

I talked to the guidance counselor at my son's school this week and she said that ex would "hang himself".  I just can't stand knowing that I can't do anything and my ex takes his frustrations out on our 6 year old by playing mind games with him. I don't know what he will do, I'm so scared for my son. If I try to call to talk to him while he is with his dad, his dad will say "he says he doesn't want to talk to you". I know that my 6 year old wants to talk to me. I know that my ex is trying to poison his mind against me, that is the scariest thing in the world.

Are there other message boards that are busier? I realize that we are all here for help and if we knew the answers we wouldn't be here so it's frustrating for all of us. I am working so hard to find some answers and I know I will. I hope it's soon.......

Best of luck to all of you seeking answers.

[ocean]

How is he threatening you to leave YOUR home? Are you not divorced yet? Little confused...

Is he making threatening phone calls, texts, emails? You can file a police report and get a restraining order for him contacting you. When judge asks how you will communicate for child, tell him email only.

Find out if you are allowed to tape phone calls in your state? Tape a few to show what he is saying to child...so you can show the therapist or lawyers in the future. If he continues this behavior, limit phones calls. Just tell your son that you have mom and dad time and right now it is mom time and he will see him tomorrow. Change subject ...move on.

Any way you can start counseling NOW,,,find a different place, agency?

You need proof so you need to document in a book/computer when things go wrong. If he threaten you, call police and file against him. Get copy of report.

Do you have full legal custody? Are the teachers seeing a behavior change after seeing dad at school? Maybe have the social worker oversee a few and see if he is taking to him appropriately. Does the school allow all parents to come every day to eat? I know we dont allow that.... You can get some kind of language in your papers stating father can come to all public school activities and in his classroom on his birthday only. (or something like that..)