wife's new boyfriend

[justdunno]

My current wife started dated this guy, who also has gone through a divorce, while we were living together.  Go figure that we are going through a divorce now.  We have temp custody orders until mediation.  My question is:  I found out that he has been arrested in 2000 for Domestic Violence including having a firearm, and now he has a restraining order against him by his ex.  Their visitation involves a third party to be present when he has his boy.  I'm becoming afraid for my children because of my (soon to be) ex's insecurities, and that he is playing the nice guy routine to get what he wants.  I can't say that I'm ticked for what she did, I'm wanting to know if he poses a threat and can I have a restraining order against him being around my children??

[ArkieDad]

I would check with your attorney or an attorney, this is definately a cause of concern.  Who has temp custody?  I have court order Temp Full custody,  my wife has a boyfriend who has been hanging around the kids and I will now look into his background thanks to your question.  If your ex has what is in the best interests of the child her main priority she needs to leave this guy, have you spoke to her about this?  Consult attorney and see if it would be wise to talk to her about this and if so tell her your concerns and if she doesnt do anything about it then you'll do what you have to , to keep your child safe.  

[grazer]

I have a very close friend that is PHD. Pyschologist. He specializes in child abuse. He has told me numerous times that a person that commits child abuse, spousal abuse or sex crimes are generally known to be habitual. Meaning, that the guy that your stbx is currently associating with in all probabilties will commit alike crime again. Another thing friend has beat into my brain and forced me to remember, "past behavior is a very good indicator of future behavior".

Also, I had a good friend that got a divorce and his ex starting living with a guy that had just got out of prison for spousal abuse. He tried everything to get custody of his twin little boys. But the judge would not change custody because his ex's new boyfriend had not done anything wrong or beat up on his ex. Ex's boyfriend put on the show that he found religion, that he had changed, he wasn't ever going to be like he was in the past--blab,blab. It wasn't 3months later my friends ex shows up at his door with his twin boys and she had been beaten black and blue. She stated that she just wanted the boys to be safe but she wasn't going to leave her boyfriend that had just beaten the crap out of her. Friend immediatly filed for custody and was granted custody after an investigation into the ex and her boyfriend.

If your stbx's boyfriend truely has anger mangement problems, it is not a question of if he will beat her, rather it is a question of when. Be prepared with quality attorney and get your kids out of her custody or be prepared to request for supervised visitation with the mom.

The sea is in my vains, my tradition remains, I'm just glad I don't live in a trailer. James Delany Buffett

[justdunno]

Hey guys and thanx for the resonses!!!  I did try to tell her, but she tried telling me that she had stopped all contact with him on Tuesday.  I found out that she is still talking to him.  

I did give my attorney the info on him, but haven't heard from him yet.  We are supposed to have a court date on Tuesday about custody too.  My attorney sent her a summons to respond to the mediation, but I don't think she turned anything in.  Again, I have to wait till I talk to my Attorney.

That last response to me sounded just like the guy.  He claims he's all religious, changed, and not going to be like that again.  It would kill me if that happens to me.  Not to mention possibly kill my children.  Does that person live in N. California by chance??  Hopefully not!

Since you responded with great info, I'll keep you informed.  And I did get a good attorney!