Child Support Modification vs. Disability Benefits. What to do?

[Wisconsin Mom]

Well, you cannot get blood from a turnip.

The SSI is minimal...but it is "something" and more than what some custodial parents get (and it sounds like it will still chap her a$$ that the SSI is going your way for the kids).

Don't most states offer an automatic review of CS every 2-3 years?  Can you file a CS review when you file for contempt on the daycare expenses?  Can your local CS department offer any guidance?

You may have to suck it up and pay the kids way on your own for now, but I'd still investigate getting your EX accountable.  Yeah, it may take her 5-10 years to be in a place where she can pay..but life does go on and things change.... but the arrears won't go away.  Maybe she'll remarry and they'll want to go abroad on a honeymoon but she won't be able to get a passport until arrears are paid.

[Fatherforever]

 

Well, you cannot get blood from a turnip.

The SSI is minimal...but it is "something" and more than what some custodial parents get (and it sounds like it will still chap her a$$ that the SSI is going your way for the kids).

Don't most states offer an automatic review of CS every 2-3 years?  Can you file a CS review when you file for contempt on the daycare expenses?  Can your local CS department offer any guidance?

You may have to suck it up and pay the kids way on your own for now, but I'd still investigate getting your EX accountable.  Yeah, it may take her 5-10 years to be in a place where she can pay..but life does go on and things change.... but the arrears won't go away.  Maybe she'll remarry and they'll want to go abroad on a honeymoon but she won't be able to get a passport until arrears are paid.

Yes, I understand she is supposedly not receiving much from SSI. Paying her way for the children for a while isn't really an option... I'm in debt as it is and she is accountable for her share as well. She has no bills, lives with her dad who pretty much pays for everything. The only thing she needs to spend her money on is gas money, so I really don't feel any sympathy for her situation.

I haven't researched much about the child support review. It's only been about a year and a half since the original ones were signed. And considering we aren't setup for CS because she isn't ordered to pay anything atm, I don't know how much good it would do. I would hate to get a CS review with her in her current status, and then have her turn around and get a job and only have to pay the $25 per child per month minimum. I wish I would have been more proactive before all this disability, because she has NEVER helped contribute to anything and only now after everything that has happened, do I have enough evidence and support to proceed.

As far as her possibly remarrying and going abroad on her honeymoon... her current boyfriend works at Denny's, she would be lucky to be able to get out of the state.  :-)

~Fatherforever

[snowrose]

How is the cancer "disabling"?  Is your ex actually capable of working a normal job?  If she is, when you go for child support you can request that the court impute a salary to her - even minimum wage at a 40 hour work week, if necessary.

You may poo-poo that $44 a week that you're getting for you children, but over here we just got $38 per week via the gov't and we're actually quite happy to have it!  (We're still paying off loans for the custody lawyer and the ex's $15,000 credit card.)

[Fatherforever]

You can trygoing to court without lawyer...doesnt cost money here to file (somestates charge fee).

She must be only getting a few hundreddollars then...and maybe getting other aid too so she doesnt get alot.

Did they tell you if she qualified as perm disabled orare they rechecking her disease?

I was able totalk to a social security representative, they explained because ofher lack of work history, the children receive less than normal. Theycould not tell me how much she gets, but she has told me beforeduring a rant that she gets $600 a month to pay bills. She alsomentioned all she gets is social security, but I don't know if thatmeans she's getting other social security money besidesdisability.

I don't know if she qualified as permanentlydisabled, she had cancer... now she's in remission. Does anyone knowif cancer constitutes a permanent disability? I would expect theywould be rechecking her disease, considering she needs doctors notesto qualify her for disability, she has to return to work sometime.But I guess if she wants to sit on disability all her life and neverstrive for more, that's her problem. :-)

How is the cancer "disabling"?  Is your ex actually capable of working a normal job?  If she is, when you go for child support you can request that the court impute a salary to her - even minimum wage at a 40 hour work week, if necessary.

You may poo-poo that $44 a week that you're getting for you children, but over here we just got $38 per week via the gov't and we're actually quite happy to have it!  (We're still paying off loans for the custody lawyer and the ex's $15,000 credit card.)

Well, she had a cancerous tumor in her foot, she went through radiation and chemotherapy which ended in September 2009, she's in remission. I don't know what still is keeping her from getting a job, I think she will sit on disability until social security kicks her off.


It's $44 per month, not per week. I'm not saying it doesn't help, but considering my financial state... $44 does very little but pay for a bit of interest on my Ex's credit card debt which she left me.


I would be eager to know what still constitutes her condition as disabling. And yes her income is imputed in our child support worksheets, because at the time she was "voluntarily underemployed". It was calculated for her to be paying $445 a month in CS, but at the time of our divorce she was given a residential credit because she was going to be spending "significant overnights" with the children. That didn't happen, of course. She saw them about 4 days a month if that and they rarely spent the night.



If I went to court to get the CS worksheets modified so she would be paying the original $445/month, I fear they will recalculate under her current "disabled" condition. At the beginning of 2010, I intend to get some legal advice on how best to handle this situation.





~Fatherforever

[ocean]

Ok..so she is getting the $600 as supplement through social services and disability took that money away from her so you are left with very little. I would call once a month and make sure she is still getting the DSS money because once that stops then she should be getting the full amount. You cant be on social service forever anymore.

The disability is approved for a certain amount of time and then she needs to prove she still needs it OR it is perm. Depends on the type of cancer and stage ...some of approved perm right away.

What is the current support payment supposed to be right now- what is court ordered? If it is more than the $44 a month then let her go into arrears. That SSDI money you get is not coming off the arrears, that does not count so let that number go up. Do you have the support with the state? They can take the money (at the very least the arrears amount) from her diability check. You would not be asking for a higher amount, just enforce what it there. 

[MissDesire]

POSTING FOR FATHERFOREVER...

Hi ocean,

The child support worksheets in the divorce decree imputed FF's ex wife's income at $1952, because she was working part time and therefore "voluntarily underemployed". The amount of child support she would have to pay with the standard calculation is $445.

The following is taken out of the Order of Child Support section of the divorce decree. It states:

Reasons for Deviation From Standard Calculation

"The child support amount ordered in paragraph 3.5 deviates from the standard calculation for the following reasons:

The children spend(s) a significant amount of time with the parent who is obligated to make a transfer payment. The deviation does not result in insufficient funds in the receiving parent's household to meet the basic needs of the children. The children does not receive public assistance;

The factual basis for these reasons is as follows:

Based upon the parties' income as calculated in the worksheets, the transfer payment would be $445 per month based upon a traditional parenting plan where the mother did not have significant overnights. The mother has significant overnights with the children. Based upon using a residential credit the transfer payment comes out to be a $10 credit per month to the mother. As a result, there is a zero transfer payment. However, each party will still pay their proportionate share of daycare expenses for the children provided below."

[ocean]

ok....child support is out then...and really she is not getting much to go after...maybe $300 if that since she is getting other help so that is a wash....BUT
file for CONTEMPT of Court in family court. Reason "according to divorce docket # xxxx, page xx, it states daycare will be shared between parties. Mother has refused to pay her share to daycare or reimburse me. Currently she is $xxx in arrears.  Attached is the receipts (give COPIES only).  Father requests money to be taken from mothers checks until the arrears are paid".
It is free to do (or small fee) and worth the shot to at least get that back.....then once she is off disability go for child support.

[MissDesire]

Thanks ocean,

I am currently reading through the motion of contempt paperwork for Washington state. I am a little confused. There is a section where you write in what is owed through the motion and also a place to add interest. Does the court fill that out or do you figure out the interest on the amount owed? Just a bit confusing.

Here is a link to the forms, it's the top one.

www.courts.wa.gov/forms/?fa=forms.contribute&formID=9


Lol, I don't even know where to start on some of the other forms. I understand the declarations and the sealed financial documents one, but then they have contempt motion judgements on the bottom. Any help is greatly appreciated and will be a surprise for Fatherforever!


Thanks!

[ocean]

I am in NY so a little different. I would just leave the interest spot blank. Those forms are what the judge will sign off on. Here we just fill out a one page thing and the clerk types it for you and hands it in. Have him take it to family court to make sure it is all filled in. Once you get a court date then you will serve her. You can do it since you are not a party to this and it is free! lol. Just hand her the papers in an envelope and leave.

[MissDesire]

Lol, everything seems easier in NY!

Well Fatherforever (FF) and I talked to his ex wife last night (he put her on speaker phone so I could truly get a taste of what she's like). She was asking how much child care was and how much she owed. He explained to her that it's all written out in the divorce decree etc. She said she could pay $50 a month and that the 35.2% of the child care was too much. She is already about $1200 in the hole, but he explained that he would mail her all the receipts. She is trying to get on FF's good side because she wants to claim one of the children on taxes and she can't do that unless she is current on her child care.

I guess my question now is... Are there any loop holes to filing this contempt motion against her? Could the judge dismiss it based on her current financial situation? FF has tried again and again through the months to get her to pay and nothing has become of it. She has the money if she would pay on time, it's about $50 a week for her share for the children to be in day care. I have documented every interaction FF has had with her about helping with payments, but it still makes me uneasy. Could they redo the worksheets at the contempt motion since her financial state has changed?

When he talked to her last night and she was complaining about her lack of money, he said that she should get a job. She screamed back at him that because of the tumor that was in her foot, she couldn't stand for more than an hour, but we have more than enough photographic evidence and witnesses to argue otherwise. She's out at clubs, dancing and drinking, but she says she can't get a job because she can't stand. This is all so frustrating.