Grandparents have gaurdianship of daughter (help)

[grtdaddy]

well i won my custody issue after my divorce, well now the next chapter, it goes like this:

I had a child from a one night stand, she is 13 now, the mom does not have her own place and her parents got gaurdianship. I have been paying child support for years. Well her mom and I decided we want to have our child, would getting married help our case to get custody of her? The grandparents have temporary guardianship as far as i know, they have always blocked me from contact, refuse to let me talk to her on the phone, send gifts back etc. Well now i have found her online, and we have been talking alot, she wants her daddy, and daddy wants her. I would like to help her and her mom get away from the grandparents and have a life with mom and dad involved. how tough will this be? I am very stable, and like i stated i just won sole custody of my son from a previous marriage which is my daughters brother.

[ocean]

You have been down this road so you know what the process it...
Are you living with the mother? How far away are you from child now?

Collect all the evidence you have...return packages, phone requests...

Do you have anything through the courts regarding access to her? either you or the mother?

[grtdaddy]

she is in another state, i talk to my daughter daily. I am supposed to have access to her but the mother signed for them to have temporary gaurdianship. this case is different, for my son i was getting a divorce. my daughter told me her grandma told her i was dead, and i died in a earthquake. told the mother i never paid child support, but i have two years of paystubs to prove otherwise. when the mother signed for temp guardianship, her grandmother staed i lived in north carolina that was 5 years ago. I have that paper work, i got it from the court house, which im going to call them and have all filed paper work sent to me. I feel like they blocked my daughter from me. I dont have the packages, but the mother is witness to it

[ocean]

Once you get the paperwork you will know more. If it is temporary custody to grandparents then file for custody (and then in the meantime ask for temporary visitation since grandparents are not allowing contact. Do the grandparents know you are talking to her?
Is mother near you now? I think as long as she will sign rights to you or agrees in court that you should have custody that would be good for you. You can ask for a law guardian for the child at the same time. This person is for the child only and will interview child and see what they want and try to figure out why they want it.

[grtdaddy]

no they do not know im talking to her, they would never allow that. my daughter has told me they told her i never wanted her, i wanted a boy and i didnt love her, and then said i was killed. they told the mother they filed abandonment on me, but i pay CS through child support enforcment and i have two years of paystubs to prove it. I pulled some of the court papers, and when the mother was doing the temporary guardianship, they stated i lived in north carolina, when i was in california. I am stable a great father with custody of my son, do i stand a chance? i am going to talk to lawyers in that state, but honestly i can not afford another one, i just got done paying off my fuirst one and it has been a real hardship, maxing credit cards and unable to pay them, if that makes sense. the mother and i have been talking alot, we thought about since she does not have her own home etc that if we got married, that we would get the children easily, im not sure if that would work or not.

[Kitty C.]

DO NOT..............I repeat, DO NOT consider marriage to the BM just to get custody of the child.  Think about this:  the child is 13 years old now and in 5 short years she will be 18 and free to have any kind of relationship with whomever she wants to.  Given that she was the result of a 'one night stand', why would you consider making what is supposed to be a lifetime committment to someone for just the benefit of 5 years?  There's no reason why you and the BM cannot share custody without taking that extra leap into marriage.  You have the proof of sole custody of your son and if the BM supports you on this (and you support her as the mother), then I think you at least have a case.  I agree with ocean in that the child needs a GAL to stand up for her rights, as well.  She's old enough to tell the court how she feels about it and can also explain what she's been told over the years about you, which will not look good to the grandparents.

I know that you have paid through the nose to get custody of your son, but in this sticky, different situation, you really don't want to chance going alone on this..........you really need an atty. to go to bat for you.  Something else think about:  if you're considering joint custody with the BM, maybe the two of you can go together on one atty. and split the costs.  But before you ever consider that, think VERY hard as to whether you truly believe you can trust her enough to hold up her end of the deal...or else she will get all the benefit and leave you holding the bag and paying all the costs.

[grtdaddy]

the mom has no money, or a job. or a home of her own, thats why the children are with the grandparents. i am going to talk to every attorney in that area. I will do anything to get my little girl, and even if i have to ge married to do it, what am i supposed to do? They have alienated her from me, i want my little girl she is so beautiful, and smart. I feel helpless again, but i must fight and do what ever it takes to get her, my daughter told me she never stopped looking for me, she didnt believe i was dead. She says she is daddies girl and loves me so much. And wants her brother....my heart is melting and i feel like a caged wild animal willing to do anything for her. I have no idea how i can pay for another blood sucking lawyer, but i will find a way i suppose. gosh this is the hardest couple years of my life, and it probably took several years off my lifespan, my heart is broken i need my baby

[ocean]

Talk to some lawyers and see... I think going for custody with the mother's support will be just as good. If you get married you will have to answer why SHE didnt take child sooner, her job and housing issues...  See if you can get her to sign a notarized paper stating she agrees to the custody switch and attach it to the filing.

You are going to prove why moving her to another state is in the best interests of the child. Move schools, activites, friends, and family. Having the child on your side is good but what happens when grandparents find out what is going on and they start showering her with gifts or try to convince her to stay. Will she be able to hold up story while living there with them. You can a good chance since you are the bio father and if it really is temporary custody.

You can hire a good lawyer for certain things. See if you can find one that will do certain things. First one being to write grandparents letter stating you want to see child and to set up a visit. You can find out how to file yourself and then hire the lawyer to only go to court with you...  Talk to a few lawyers and see how/what they would file...custody outright? visitation? both at same time?
Good luck!

[grtdaddy]

talked with several lawyers, they all have the same theme. I will get custody and if the mom and i work together it should be very easy. after interviewing several, i have fou found one i liked and i am hiring him. He is going to take payments until my retainer is there, then file for change of custody. I should have this rolling by the end of Jan. I am wanting to move my daughter, the mom and her other daughter out here with me. I feel that it's best, i dont want to seperate the sisters.