Ex gf will not let me have unsupervised visits with my son

[CuriousMom]

DDS -

When our first temporary order was established it contained a clause that both parents had the right to request a home inspection of the other parents home.  It had to be requested within X-days and paid for by the person requesting it.   Not sure if that's standard in other states or not, or how much a judge really relies on the information.  Neither of us did one, so I can't speak from experience. 

[DDS]

1)  No
2)  No
3)  No

None of that affects custody.  What matters is who is the child's primary care giver? Who has been taking care of and providing for the child?  Until paternity is proven and the courts give you access rights, she has full custody and can make determinations regarding the child.  Are you off meds you should be on?

Courts are closed tomorrow, it's Christmas.

I was on anti depressants... My prescriptions were done in June I believe.. I still had some left and took them through July. However, I ran out and have felt great. She is mistaking my unhappiness with her, for depression.

[DDS]

Ok, so I'm going to file for joint custody and visitation next week. We're trying to keep this out of the courts, but if she says screw it and decides to court, can she feasibly keep him from me? I guess what i'm asking, is there anything she can do to prevent unsupervised visits?

[ocean]

Probably not but she can keep him from you during the court process which sometimes take months, especially if it goes to a trial.

[DDS]

Probably not but she can keep him from you during the court process which sometimes take months, especially if it goes to a trial.

jesus...
That seems ridiculously unfair... can she out and out NOT let me see him during that time? Like she can suddenly say NO you can't see your son AT ALL?

[ocean]

Pretty much...until you have court orders you cant enforce. My dh waited over a year for the judge to order anything. Family court take forever. You will have hearings first (which basically is "do you guys agree yet...no...go in hall and work it out...". After a few of those you go to a trial. Each one of these may have weeks in between them.

[shooter]

aren't you supposed to have temp visits till things are finalized

[CuriousMom]

We had a temp order that started the same day as the conciliation.  The temp order first ordered us to a mediator and if we couldn't work it out then it went to a pre-trial conference in front of the judge.  The judge decided at that time if there was a need for a trial, keep the temp order or modify it somehow.

Ours lasted from 3/31/09 conciliation thru 12/2/09 trial and he's already filed for a modification already because he isn't happy with the trial outcome.  Takes a long time.

Wouldn't be in the best interest of the children for her to do that even though she can - can't imagine a judge would think highly of it either.

[ocean]

Sometimes you see temp orders during a divorce but when you just go in for the first time....IDK. When you file, PUT in those papers somewhere..."father requests temp orders in order to keep the child/father relationship" or something like that. You may get it, my concern is that she is saying it should be supervised and a judge may want to hear all the facts first before giving any orders.

[DDS]

let me make sure I understand what everyone is saying. I may/should be able to get temp unsupervised visits from the get go when I file? or am i missing something?