violating custody court order

[worriedinmd]

I live in md, I have 50/50 joint custody. The child's mother is getting nasty and is starting to sway from teh court order. If the mother doesn't bring the child back at the scheduled time/date, what can I do. Can the police be called and a report filed? Or must it be pursued directly through the courts? I am also getting married this summer. The wedding is on a day that is my day to spend with my child. We each are entitled to spend one week of vacation in the summer with our child. I know she is going to try to do something shady to interfere with our wedding and I wanted to know what I can do to make sure she doesn't try to take him that day or use her vacation that week. Thanks for all the help. I can't believe how many times I have had to use this site for problems when The divorce order has only been in place since april

[ocean]

The police may get involved if the court order is detailed enough so they know who has which week. You can call their non emergency number, explain that you have JOINT custody/placement and mother is threatening not to return them , what can you do? See what they say....even if it is a phone call to her, go with you to try and pick them up, get a police report so you have evidence of the issue.

If you go back to court before the summer for anything else, request the week of your wedding that you want in the court order. How does your order read about YOUR vacation week? When do you have to notify her? Send her a certified letter stating,"As you know , our wedding is on XX day and child is eager and wants to be apart of this day. We planned the day around the current visitation time (and will be using my vacation week??).

You may want to reconsider the date of the wedding, dont tell child until she gets to you that today is the day, so mom wont interfere. A few people here have done that so the mother found out afterwards....

[worriedinmd]

my order says I receive him tuesday after school, thursday after school, friday after school and all day saturday, sunday until 615. It then says that if school is not in session the same schedule shall be followed. So if she doesn't bring him back on a tuesday at 12(which is when he gets out of prek but there's no school due to the holidays). What can I do? Also do I have to use my vacation that week or can I just tell her that she can't take hers that week since the order says it can't interfere with holiday schedule.

[ocean]

Go to the pick up and see what she does...you can do a few things...
*bring someone with you to video tape her actions
*have police escort you and see if she gives child to you
*try yourself, if not stay there and call police...they may help you or write report...

If you dont get child, file a contempt of court with the police report the next day...do this for each time until the court date and keep filing...she will have to tell the judge why she is not following the court order...

[MixedBag]

I would suggest that you take your vacation "that week" or at least part of your vacation to cover your wedding.

I would also suggest that you get in the frame of mind that the wedding happens regardless of what the EX does.

And honestly, if you're planning on a honeymoon.....child included?  Probably not....

[worriedinmd]

So I need to show up as scheduled and if she doesn't then I can call the police and file a report, then as soon as possible I need to file contempt papers with the court? I'm just making sure I understand. Also, is this something where something will be done about this or is this something that is pretty much allowed by the courts to continue happening unless it becomes  a situation where it is happening very frequently

[sillystring]

My husband has 50/50 as well.  Whenever mom decides to not bring the child back, he files a police report.  We have been told by our lawyer that you'll have a better chance of getting a contempt conviction if it has happened on more than one occasion (3 times is the general rule).  So I would document it with a police report this time but not necessarily file contempt against her after just this one time.

Basically, with contempt, you are asking the judge to resolve it when the CO isn't followed.  If mom denies visitation but then gives you the child back, then generally, the situation has already been resolved because you got the child back.  So when you're trying to file contempt against someone for denying visitations, you want to be able to prove that it is a habit and not just a one-time thing.  A judge isn't going to want to spend the time hearing a contempt case just so they can give you one make-up day, but they will if it's like a week's worth of time. 

We filed contempt after 4 denied visitations, but ending up dismissing it because a GAL was hired (it would have been pointless to then go to court because, ideally, the GAL would be able to resolve any upcoming visitation issues).  Even though we didn't get an actual contempt conviction, we can still use those denied visitations to file for primary custody, which we have done now that there have been 4 MORE denied visitations (among other things - I'm not saying you should file for custody based on denied visitations alone).

[ocean]

Yes..depending on the judge she will be told that she cant do that BUT you ask for make-up time from the start and you could also ask for future lawyer fees if it happens again.
You file in family court....they can usually give you paperwork and some places will type it for you. Bring your original papers with you (and an extra copy) so you can say "father was supposed to have his parenting time according to court orders on xx day at xx time but mother denied visitation. Attached is the police report. Father requests makeup days (spell out what you want...the next 3 weekends..? whatever to make up the time...). Father also requests that if mother denies court ordered time that she will be responsible for Fathers lawyer fees.

Then you go the next scheduled visit and do the same thing. There is a letter on this site that you can certified mail to her....Intention to visit letter.

What is her reason for not allowing this time? What do you think she will say as the reason so you can start getting evidence against what she may say.....

Wedding...Since it looks like you will be going back to court...ask for the date of you wedding to be added to the court order with specifics that child will be brought back to mother by XXX at XX time. Best bet is not to tell her and get married a week or two earlier....