Advice needed please on responding to Court Motion

[Heston]

Sounds like you've needed to get your ex back in front of the judge for some time.  I'd say now's as good a time as any. 

In times past, I've used the Answer and Counterclaim (one document) with great success.  Basically, it's one document that does two things.  1)  Answer:  You deny everything your ex says in her claim.  2)  Treat your Counterclaim as a affidavit, stating your charges for contempt. Then based upon your Counterclaim, file your Motion for Contempt.  Additionally, based on your ex's history of behavior, you should also Motion the Court for "Remedy Clauses" in your next order.   

Tom

Thanks Tom,

I filed the counter motion and contempt motion before reading this so was unaware of the Answer and Counterclaim.  What I've done with the counter motion is list the points raised in the BMs motion and asked that the points are not changed and remain the same as in the current order and I have given logical reasons, but intend to argue the reasons at the hearing if needs be and show evidence of contempt on some of those points.  I've also made some additional requests, some are important and some of them I am not too bothered about - so if they are turned down it's OK.  I figured I can't win on every single point, and wanted a few in there that I would not mind having turned down.  There are some issues that I just have to win on, for the sake of my daughter.

Unfortunately, the court scheduled the contempt hearing after the hearing for the BMs requests (and my counter motion).  I am hoping the fact I've requested mediation on the first hearing/motion will help, but am not quite sure how this will work.  I was wondering whether to ask at mediation that contempt issues be included in medation, but am not sure if this is the way to go, or whether I should just deal with the first hearing issues in mediation and let the contempt issues stay as they are and be addressed fully in court?

Bearing in mind there are now two hearings, one for the BMs motion and my counterclaim and one for a contempt hearing, should I file a motion for Remedy Clauses before both hearings?  Should this be attached to the contempt issues?  I have spent so much in the past on lawyers fees that this time around, I have to represent myself, and am not familiar with all the ways of the courts, the papers, etc.

One other issue is...I have damning evidence agains the BM on tape.  It would help with my arguments on why pick ups and drops offs should remain the same.  I am not sure what process to use to ensure the judge hears the tape.  I am wondering if I should present the tape/CD to the court but with a typed transcript also?

[ocean]

In my experience nothing will happen at that hearing in the AM, the judge will see that you have the contempt hearing the following week and should be the same judge for both. At the morning one, play it out, and just say we are mediated on these issues this afternoon and request this hearing be postponed to see if you come up with an agreement.

You may be able to make a deal with her lawyer and get what you want in exchange for dropping the contempt charges. Call lawyer up and ask (or make a deal) and use her money...lol

The courts have the modification paperwork but what do you want changed?

I think you passed the time to have it dropped, in your response it could of been "father requests the courts to drop this case as nothing has changed since the last order and it only has been XX months". (BUT you can still SAY that at this hearing...or whenever it comes up).

Tapes- we were able to get them in but it was tough...have to say the tape was in locked up the whole time until trial and was not altered, only in your care, give to guards when you walk in as evidence and with the tape recorder. Get  a good one that has volume so the judge can hear.

[Heston]

In my experience nothing will happen at that hearing in the AM, the judge will see that you have the contempt hearing the following week and should be the same judge for both. At the morning one, play it out, and just say we are mediated on these issues this afternoon and request this hearing be postponed to see if you come up with an agreement.

You may be able to make a deal with her lawyer and get what you want in exchange for dropping the contempt charges. Call lawyer up and ask (or make a deal) and use her money...lol

The courts have the modification paperwork but what do you want changed?

I think you passed the time to have it dropped, in your response it could of been "father requests the courts to drop this case as nothing has changed since the last order and it only has been XX months". (BUT you can still SAY that at this hearing...or whenever it comes up).

Tapes- we were able to get them in but it was tough...have to say the tape was in locked up the whole time until trial and was not altered, only in your care, give to guards when you walk in as evidence and with the tape recorder. Get  a good one that has volume so the judge can hear.

Thanks, Ocean

I will act on your advice and will report back afterwards.  Thanks again.

[Heston]

Thanks, Ocean

I will act on your advice and will report back afterwards.  Thanks again.
[/quote]

Well, the hearing took place - in a way.  I had also asked for mediation since I am representing myself.  The judge ordered that the hearing for both motions will be heard in a couple of months for a whole day.  That much is good, because the contempt issues will be heard with the BMs motion and my counter motion.  The mediator was unpleasant to say the least and I realize I am in for a tough time.  I really could do with some advice.

First off, since the CO went into force, the BM has been in contempt on a regular basis.  She denies visits with stall tactics and does the same with make-up visits.  She makes excuses and stalls and then turns around and says sorry, your opportunity for make-up time has "expired"!  Sometimes at this point she claims that I "forfeited" my time.  The other regular tactic is to state that I may have my child but only if I go and pick her up, contrary to the CO.  I don't do it as I know it's a set-up.  My daughter has even informed me many times recently that on the days the BM emailed to say I could only see her if I picked her up, that she (my daughter) had been told she was not allowed to see me that day.  In other words, they ensure the child would refuse to go with me, for fear of punishment.  They film everything.  So they would have a ton of videos showing the child's reluctance, if I were to go there. 

The BM is also in contempt concerning sickness.  The CO states sickness should not prevent the child spending parental time with either parent unless a drs letter is produced stating the child cannot be driven to the other parent.  The BM simply claims the child is sick and cannot spend parental time with me and does not offer proof.  She also uses the above mentioned tactics to deny me make up time. 

I have email proof which shows a pattern of behavior, but judges don't have time to read through hundreds or thousands of emails.  The BM is in contempt on who brings the child, who the drivers are etc.  In previous orders I collected my child from the BMs home, but due to the BM and her husband making scenes that were upsetting to the child, the CO requires that the BM brings the child to me, which has worked out on one level, apart from constant lateness, which can also be proved.  All the BMs drivers bring the child late too.  There is more contempt along these lines.  Basically, I can provide proof of much of the contempt.  I only included issues in the contempt motion that are provable.  There are other serious contempt issues which are not included, such as on a big scale and abuse.  Very difficult to prove. 

Now to the worsening problems...


Research tells me judges rarely change within the first 2 years.  The BM applied to have it changed within 15 months.  The BM is asking that exchanges are changed back to the way they were.  In other words, changed to what she has been doing when in contempt of the current order.  The goal here is to force me to collect a child who will be made too terrified to leave with me.  They get tons of videos of this, and apply to have my joint custody revoked. 

One way to change a CO of less than 2 years is to prove one parent is proving a serious threat to the child's wellbeing.  That is the BMs tactic.  She is asking for medical records, hoping to prove I have mental issues.  On that score I have nothing to worry about, but it reveals their plan.  In previous posts I mentioned the "counseler".  The BM got herself a counseler who doesn't have the skills or intelligence to realize what is going on.  Instead this counseler has been duped by the BM.  She is not the first to be duped, however, and won't be the last, because the BM is adept at deception and playing people.  Instead of the counseler treating only my daughter, she has taken on the BM and her other kids.  She has shown absolute bias towards me the whole time.  When I tried to explain what the BM is really like, she has turned a deaf ear.  When I requested my child's records she refused until I contacted her boss.  It was obvious to me the bulk of the records had been produced hastily and long after the events took place.

The records do contain some evidence that casts a bad light on the BM, such as her leaving the child for weeks on end, with her mom.  But the records do not show me in a good light.  Due to my concern for my daughter and the counseler being so biased towards the BM, I contacted the counseler many times in attempts to inform her what was really going on.  I just wanted her to realize things were not as she thought they were so she could help my daughter, there was no motive other than that.  But because of the picture the BM obviously painted of me, the counseler  was hostile and closed minded towards me.  She has been enabling bad behavior for a long time now.  It took dozens of emails to persuade her to issue the medical records.  She gave them begrudgingly, informing me the records had been sent and told me not to contact her again and that if I did she would call the police.  This was totally over the top behavior from the counseler.  But again, it does not look good.  I subsequently reported the counseler to two organizations and both are looking into the situation.  I was happy to show the organizations all my emails.  Nothing I said or did merited the final response from the counseler.  At the mediation, I learned that the BM is bringing the counseler to court to give evidence.  This will be very damaging, even though undeservedly. 

A couple of days after the hearing/mediation, I was due to have weekend parental time with my daughter.  I waited and waited and emailed the BM asking if she was on her way.  No response.  An hour and a half passed by from drop off time.  The BM is always late but not often an hour and a half.  I had to take my other child to an appointment and left home around 7.15.  When I returned there was a msg from the local police.  It turns out the BM brought my child very late (obviously intentional to ensure I would not be home).  She got a police escort.  (And btw, she is requesting that I never get a police escort as it will upset the child!).  She showed the cop a bag of vomit.  She claimed my child had vomitted at the thought of spending parental time with me.  The cop wouldn't get involved except to say, she should perhaps take her home.  accomplished.  She proves she showed up.  She "proves" the child did not want to see me.  She creates fake "evidence" to show to the court.  She will tell the child to tell the counseler she was so nervous of seeing her dad that she was sick and threw up.  The counseler will include that in her notes and when questioned at the hearing.  My daughter has never been sick or nervous of seeing me before, when her mom has brought her.  It is obvious it's a set up, fuelled by the mom's fury that she will not be getting such an easy ride in the courtroom as she expected.  And no coincidence it happened two days after we attended court.

Claiming the child was sick, leads down another road.  Why was the child "sick" ?  What happens during parental time that she is so afraid of?  You can see where this may be headed.  The BM has another couple of months to create more "evidence" to back her case. 

I took my daughter to a good counseler a few months ago.  The BM attended just once.  From then on, once she found this counseler could not be duped, she stopped my daughter attending.  She used the same stall tactics and never said an outright "no".  The reason is because the BM has been instructing the child on what to tell the counseler of her choice and does not want the child telling the truth to another counseler.  Believe me, I have tried everything to get my daughter there.  So, I have no evidence from an objective counseler on what my daughter has been going through. 

I have a case filled with logic, truth and evidence of consistent contempt of the order.  I don't think it will be enough to counter their vindictive campaign.  They want to convince the court that my child does not want to see me and that I am a bad person.   They have a slick and ruthless lawyer.  My previous lawyer warned me recently that he is not a nice person, to put it nicely. 

The BM has a history of addiction but the court won't allow records into court that go back far enough to prove it.  My child is living in a very dangerous environment.  If the BM and her husband succeed, I have grave concerns for my daughter.  The BM and her husband have done more awful stuff but I don't think I should put it all down in a public forum.  I have evidence on the BM but not the sort that is admissible.  Mine would be deemed "hearsay", whereas with the aid of the "counseler", the lies and fake evidence produced by the BM are likely to be regarded as "actual" evidence.

If anyone has any advice, I would really appreciate it.

[Heston]

Sounds like you've needed to get your ex back in front of the judge for some time.  I'd say now's as good a time as any. 

In times past, I've used the Answer and Counterclaim (one document) with great success.  Basically, it's one document that does two things.  1)  Answer:  You deny everything your ex says in her claim.  2)  Treat your Counterclaim as a affidavit, stating your charges for contempt. Then based upon your Counterclaim, file your Motion for Contempt.  Additionally, based on your ex's history of behavior, you should also Motion the Court for "Remedy Clauses" in your next order.   

Tom

Thanks very much for the information.

[Heston]

I just filed a motion and realise there's a mistake in it.  I raised the issue of Parental Alienation on the BMs part, relating to the BMs claims.  I just realized I put "Parental Alienation Syndrome" instead of the intended "Parental Alienation".   Should I file a new motion?  I am guessing the BM's lawyer can capitalize on my mistake......any ideas or suggestions on the best remedy pls?

[Simplydad]

It is actually called Parent Alienation Syndrome so your motion has the correct wording. 

[ocean]

I agree...I do not think that is a big deal, called both ways. They will know what you mean...

[Heston]

Thanks for the comments.  I was reading up on PAS yesterday on the paawareness.org site and it said PAS was the syndrome the child suffers from and PA is what the parents do, ie alienate the child.  I guess then it should be OK to leave it as it is and if the lawyer tries anything, just explain that the parents are constantly alienating the child against me...

[Simplydad]

Thanks for the comments.  I was reading up on PAS yesterday on the paawareness.org site and it said PAS was the syndrome the child suffers from and PA is what the parents do, ie alienate the child.  I guess then it should be OK to leave it as it is and if the lawyer tries anything, just explain that the parents are constantly alienating the child against me...

I believe using this will help a lot for getting a GAL appointed for your child.

It means your child has legal representation where his best interests are the only thing that matter to that attorney.   Something your ex can't control.