Can't see Grandchildren

[jacar3]

Hello every one.  Please help me.

My son went to court and his almost ex wife agreeded that he could have half custody if he  signed a statement that his girlfriend of 2 years and a baby that his children from he and his ex never sees my son's girlfriend or can he take his children, ages 5 and 8 to his house because his girlfriend lives there as well.  

She did not let him see the children for a month because she put a restraining order on him.

His lawyer advised him to do sign the statement so she would drop the restraing order and he could see his children.

His attorney said to wait a month and amend the statement.

Will this work?  The girlfriend wants to be very much involved with my  son's children , besides they do have a half brother now. They were going to my son's house for 4 months after 2 years of them not meeting his girlfriend.  She went crazy when she got the divorce papers and every thing changed.

This is causing problems between my son and his girlfriend that she cannot see his children.  She felt like he should have fought her in court and not signed the statement.

Now, me, the Grandmother.  My son can have any one in the car when he picks up the children, but his girlfriend of course.

His days off are Tues. and Wed. and my days off are sat. and Sunday.
I live in Pa and they live in NJ, four hrs. away.  My son works night shift and when I visit on week ends he is sleeping and cannot pick up the kids as it is a 40 min. drive for him.

She told my son that I cannot see the kids and my daughter as well.
Nothing in writing.  They love us so very much and very close to us.  
Once again, I can be in the car but that won't work with our different days off.

My son's  Father had always taken the children to visit my daughter an hr. away, now she won't allow this.  

My son's first child when he was a baby I always had him, I did not work and he even called me , Ma,Ma.  He screamed and cried when I would leave so had to bring him home with me.

I can't afford to take off work and go back and forth to  court in N.J.
to get visitation rights.  

What can I do?  Please help, my heart is broken as well as my daughter.

Thanks so much.  jacar3

[ocean]

You will probably not get visitation rights. Once he gets the restraining order lifted, he can proceed to put the visitation agreement together and get weekend visits. Ex can not tell son who or what he can do with child once the divorce is final. We all went through this....(from the ex's point of view...I would not want my children running to a new step-mom when they are not even divorced....emotions are high...they should calm down) Good luck!

[hagatha]

Jacar3,

The first thing your sin needs is a better attorney. He should have never signed anything limiting his time with the children. Once an order is in place it is very very difficult to change.

The only reason a judge would sign that kind of order, if he chose to fight that in court, is if the mother had evidence the girlfriend would be a danger to the children.

Find a better attorney ASAP and get this fixed. Or she will call the shots for the rest of his life.

The Witch

Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

[jacar3]

She dropped the restraining order and agreeded he can see the kids any time as long as they do not see my son's girlfriend...My son's girlfriend did not meet his kids after 2 years because he knew his wife would go nuts, but they have a half brother and it was time.


She also had simple assualt charges on him because she would not let him take the kids out and she pushed my son and he pushed her back.

He did not want to go to court for the simple assult charges, she is a very good talker and convincing.

Are you saying that once he is divorced that anyone could see the children including his girlfriend even if he signed the statement not to see the girlfriend.  He wants to marry her but his wife will not sign the divorce papers.

Thanks, jacar3

[jacar3]

Yes, she calls all the shots.   She knows she is in control because of the 2 children.  She will not le me or my daughter see the kids because we visit my son's new baby and girlfriend.  

She also knows that I am testifing against her for the divorce in N.J. and because of that she said i will never see my Grandchildren.

My daughter as well. My daughter has seen his wife punch him in the ribs when he would visit the kids in her home.  this is where she once again called the shots, in her home.

My son never had her arrested because of the kids.  He did not want the kids to see their mom taken away in hand cuffs.  

He blows the horn for the kids and does not enter the home.  Cannot trust her.  She wants him to come to her house and visit the kids.  court order, curb side pick up.

My other son said that it is killing her that she cannot talk with him.
His girlfriend has the cell phone and she cannot call but the kids can.

The attorney said that when he admends the statement that the kids should be able to go to his house with his girlfriend present.  

Hope he is right....thanks, jacar3

                                       

[Lil527]

As part of the divorce papers there will be a visitation agreement. From the date the visitation agreement is signed, any previous agreements no longer apply. Be careful, tho. My husband's ex had added in that no unrelated members of the opposite sex were allowed overnight when the child was present. This would mean his fiance, or him and the kids, would have to sleep somewhere else. (It did not state opposite sex to who - my husband or his daughter.) His ex is doing her best to alienate everyone in your family. Been there and still going through it.

[jacar3]

>As part of the divorce papers there will be a visitation
>agreement. From the date the visitation agreement is signed,
>any previous agreements no longer apply. Be careful, tho. My
>husband's ex had added in that no unrelated members of the
>opposite sex were allowed overnight when the child was
>present. This would mean his fiance, or him and the kids,
>would have to sleep somewhere else. (It did not state opposite
>sex to who - my husband or his daughter.) His ex is doing her
>best to alienate everyone in your family. Been there and still
>going through it.

[jacar3]

Thank-you.   I feel better... This is a great message boards.   Happy to find it.   jacar3

[jacar3]

N.J.    My son's wife had not responded to the divorce papers.  He told me that she had so many days to respond and she did not. She is in defult.  She and her attorney I feel have a reason for this. They are to smart.

His girlfriend's Mother works for an attorney and sent her attorney paper work on this issue.  She said that if my son would have done this on his own it would had taken at least 3 months. Now, she will get it in a day.  

Also to admend the statement that he had signed that the children are not to go to his house, her attorney must send him the form.  I told him that she will never send it.  

His wife wants to prolong this and is doing every thing she can...

Here is a big question if any one could help out....

My Grandson was molested a few years ago by her best friend's son.
They had reported it to children and youth but was unfouned.  The boy denied it and he was a few years older...

He was doing things to me that were not right and finally he had told my daughter.  He then told my son and his wife.

They had told the parents to keep their son away from the boy.  Well, she takes my Grandson around this boy.  They have went for a few nights away and going again.

My son is sick over this.  

They will be going back to meditation again....Can he bring this up????

She doesn't want the kids to be around the girlfriend but they could be around this boy.

My husbnd was a cop for 30 years in Pa. and he said for my son to be carefull because it was unfounded and the boys's Mother maybe could get my son for slander...

my Grandson is in harms way.   This boy is not normal....I had always asked why is he playing with my Grandson with the age difference?  can't remember the ages....My grandson was about 5 years of age at the time. He did some bad stuff to my Grandson.  

I called children and youth but they told me that there would not be any records on this matter because my son did not file a police report.

Any ideas???? And she WON't le me see the kids....jacar3   thanks