Welcome to SPARC Forums. Please login or sign up.

Mar 29, 2024, 12:26:01 AM

Login with username, password and session length

We're finally going for custody!!

Started by Mamacass, Feb 20, 2006, 07:21:32 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Mamacass

For the last 5 yrs. my husband and I have been together, my stepson's mom has called the shots.  In the beginning my husband made the mistake of giving her full custody, b/c he didn't realize he had to stand up for his rights as a father.  He had no idea that fighting for custody later on would be a battle.  Her having custody would not  normally be a cause for pause except she can be very vindictive when she feels that anyone is questioning her choices.  She also is not a very stable person, and she drags my 6 y/o stepson through all her bad relationships and bad choices with her.  
Anyways, we have talked about going for custody before, each time she has a few months of instability.  However everytime we reach our limit she straightens up.  My husband hates confrontation and doesn't want to stab her in the back when she is being a good mother.  Also we fear the backlash that is sure to come when we go for custody.  BM is sure to take it as a direct attack on her, and we are afraid of what she may say to the child.  She  has not shown any discernment in the past for what things a 6 y/o should be told.  
So now we have finally reached the point where the benefit of going for custody out weighs our fears.  I know that 20 yrs from now if my stepson asks why we went for custody we can explain to him that we had to do what was best for him.  I also know that if we didn't go for custody now I would feel like we failed him.  He is such a good kid and he needs the normalcy and stablity that his mom can't provide.  There's a whole lot more to the situation, but what it comes down to is she does not provide a healthy environment for my stepson.
So pray for us, I know the road ahead is rough.  Pray for her that she handles the situation in a way that is not harmful toward my stepson.  And pray for my stepson, that he can be oblivious to the custody battle and understand that we only want whats best for him.

Lil527