Custody and Visitation for 3 year

[fox]

State: Nevada

Mother leaves state with 'boyfriend' but leaves 3 year old son (2 at the time she left) with dad. For six months Mom refuses to give an address to where she is and only calls to talk to son once a week for about 2 minutes, and several times did not call.

Eleven months later, Mom decides she wants to see her son. She is requesting the 3 year visit her in Texas for 8 weeks during the summer.

Dad says Mom may have had mental issues (possibly schizophrenia) in the past.

Mom has 3 other kids from another marriage ages 8, 11, and 15. When she left the other kids had never spent more than one night at a time without mom, but mom left them with their father as well.

I need some ideas for visitation. I am not comfortable with sending my 3 year old to Texas for such a long amount of time. Should I ask the court to deny visitation under the circumstances?

Originally (before it was verified that she moved out of state) I was willing to agree to a schedule where she could visit him anytime she wanted as long as it was at her parents home of she was accompanied by one of her parents.


Her parents are concerned about her having unsupervised visit as well, and have offered to testify to this affect in court if needed.

 

[Giggles]

Couple of questions first....

Do you have a court order for custody?

Also what does it state about visitation?

[fox]

Couple of questions first....

Do you have a court order for custody?

Also what does it state about visitation?

No Custody Order yet, but we are having the early case conference this weekend as she is going to be in town, as I understand it after the ECC the next step is discovery, then they will set a date for a hearing, at that hearing the judge will send us to mediation (unless we can resolve everything on our own) then after mediation (if things are still unresolved) I guess we go to trial.

I need some ideas of what I should offer as far as visitation goes. I would like to bring some suggestions to the ECC this weekend if possible.

[ocean]

First, could she pay for two tickets both ways a few times a year?

Since she moved, she is mostly responsible for all travel costs.

Does she work? Will child be in daycare in her care?

Do you have temporary custody now? You really need to get the ASAP so she does not come this weekend and take her (and probably get away with it IF you do not have anything in writing) If you do not have it, go get it tomorrow morning from family court. Tell them mom is in town and you fear she will take child out of state.

You have court this weekend? Never heard of court open on the weekend here...

I would think no more than 14 days until the summer after Kindergarten...then do a school long distance plan. Maybe a few 7-10 days during the year and 14 days in the summer. Really depends on how much she has to pay for flights...how many times she can pay.

[Kitty C.]

In regards to travel......since child is 3 y.o., it up in the air what the judge might order.  But I CAN tell you this:  regardless of how the child travels (plane, train, car), an adult will have to accompany.  And if the only alternative is to fly, BM will probably bear the brunt...if not ALL...of the cost.  That means for EVERY time the child comes to see her, she will either have to fly to come get him and fly to take him back.....or you will.  That is THREE round trip tickets for every visitation event.  She better find out if she can even afford that.  But driving 3 round trips might be just as expensive right now....

Unless the FAA has changed its rules (we've been out of the loop for 9 years), a child cannot fly unaccompanied until they are 5 y.o. and then have to fly non-stop until they are 8.  Once they are 8 y.o., they can have one plane change.  And the FAA makes the rules on that.  Some airlines are even more strict, but they still have to follow minimum guidelines.

[MixedBag]

That state moved so slowly for us and was VERY mommy biased.  EX#3's jurisdiction was in Humboldt County and his judge no longer presides there.

And that was also a few years ago.

My initial thought was that by the time you get to court for this initial round, the child will be older than 4 and summer will be done.

[fox]

First, could she pay for two tickets both ways a few times a year?

Since she moved, she is mostly responsible for all travel costs.

Does she work? Will child be in daycare in her care?

Do you have temporary custody now? You really need to get the ASAP so she does not come this weekend and take her (and probably get away with it IF you do not have anything in writing) If you do not have it, go get it tomorrow morning from family court. Tell them mom is in town and you fear she will take child out of state.

You have court this weekend? Never heard of court open on the weekend here...

I would think no more than 14 days until the summer after Kindergarten...then do a school long distance plan. Maybe a few 7-10 days during the year and 14 days in the summer. Really depends on how much she has to pay for flights...how many times she can pay.

She claims to work at a daycare, other than that she refuses to give much detail about anything.

We are meeting for the Early Case Conference this weekend. This is required by Nevada court rules before a court date can be set.

No temporary order exists at this time, but I did file a joint preliminary injunction and I am not planning on leaving my son while she visits him. The agreement between us is that she can see him but only if I supervise and the visit takes place at her parents house.

[ocean]

Sounds like mediation in other states....
Basically they are going to see if they can work it out without court. It is good if you are both sane
Make a list of what you would like to see in the order with extras so you can negotiate some of them. Like start out with she pays for all travel since she moved (then you may offer to pay for ONE time per year) and offer less time but have some other times ready to negotiate. Look at a school calendar for your area and see what long holidays they get. Print out a school calendar and bring it with you.

Put a time frame for mom to tell you the flight plans (put in there direct flights, airports that will be used, if you will pick up from airport). Try to negotiate everything NOW. Very hard to change things after first order. This will be it until she is 18. SO what happens when child is old enough to fly themselves?

Be careful of any visits this weekend. I would meet her at places this time and not inside her parents house where they can kick you out and keep child.

Maybe see if this mediation/court thing will get to her sign papers that state you have temporary primary custody and then you will allow a visit at her parents house...

[fox]

UPDATE

Unbelievable!!! She text messages me about two hours before we are to have the case conference and says she can not make it because she has other plans!!!


In addition to her cancelling on me, she didn't even try to see her son while she was here this weekend! Can you believe that??? The only reason she saw her son for about a half hour was because I just happened to show up to my son's brothers baseball game and she was there!

She didn't even say hi or try to talk to our son. It broke my heart but fortunately, he didn't seem to remember her because he just acted the way he does when he meets new people.


Does anyone know what my next step should be?

[ocean]

Did you make sure it was cancelled?
Depends on your courts...some MAKE you do mediation first. Call your family court house and see.

Is she going to drop the case? If she made no real try to see him when he was in your state???

I would email her if you can and just write down what happened...without really yelling at her..lol
Ex
I am a little confused. We were supposed to have mediation on XX but got you text that you needed to cancel. You did not make any attempt to see XX while in NV. Are you coming back here for mediation?
You

Then you can get proof with her response that she was there and missed mediation and did not ask to see child.

Since this is her case...let it go. Now she will have to reschedule and fly back up to you... No court order, no flight this summer, so now you def will not get court orders for this summer so you wont have to worry too much about that.

If she drops case, go get custody in your state...