Evaluator questions

[gooddadof2]

Any advice for me in this PLEASE? I was recently found guilty for disorderly conduct and criminal damage. When testifying on the stand, I was cut off by "asked and answered" and "past acts" objections by the state. Disorderly charge is for yelling at Mom for her pushing, cussing, and screaming at our 3 yr old daughter. Criminal charge is for ripping my face out of wedding pictures. State simply asked if I yelled at Mom and then cut me off when I tried to explain I flushed her meth down the toilet two days prior. When I told them she was screaming at our Daughter and tried to let them know that two days earlier she literally shoved her to the floor, they objected saying "past acts". I didnt fall into the trap that drug sets, and now Im paying for it..........legally. The alternative is so much scarier. As for ripping my face out of the pictures, I have no excuse aside from she hit me with her fist in the face twice causing loc. She wasnt charged and I didnt get to provide statement. I never even touched her, and thankfully she doesnt claim I did.  Her Dads best friend is chief of police, and his neighbor is a judge. I know his influence and money played a part in her not being charged. Both my charges are as per domestic, and they are trying to use this to take my children from me. The accusations and her parents involvement are too numerous to mention. She called CPS on me, and CPS concluded the accusations unsubstantiated, stated there is a problem with co parenting on one parents part, and gave a warning regarding filing a false report with CPS. She is a good person, and I thank God for her. Moms memory of what the report said is, of course, not so good. The custody evaluator they have had appointed by the court was surprised to hear she was doing drugs, and knew nothing of CPS being called. Which brings me to my concerns. Her parents are paying the full cost of the evaluation. There shall be no objection to any heresay evidence. Mom continues to lie, recently claiming years of physical and emotional abuse of her and the children. THIS IS NOT TRUE! She cant even tell the same story twice because she has lied so much. The evaluator is being paid by them. They picked her to do the eval. The evaluator also sent the PSI and ASPECT test home with me to complete. She told me we will do psyc testing when I meet her again on the 20th. Several things she is doing are cautioned against on this site. I am worried. Not about my ability and record as a Father, but that money is going to take my children from me. If she tries to administer RORSARCH test on the 20th, can I refuse? Or would this be taken as non compliance and hurt me? All I recall seeing is butterflies and sea dragons. I think it is a stupid test and may pave the way for the evaluator to say whatever she wants to. I do not get a bad impression from her, but there is so much at stake here. I am a good Dad who loves the Lord and his children very much. I am patient and good with my kids. My children are 2 and 4 now, and when getting dressed to go back to Mom, they say they dont want to go back, and that they want to stay here with me. I tell them Mommy needs to see them too, and that I will see them again soon. I have them with me every Tues eve to Wed eve and every other weekend for the past 8 months or so. Although she claims multitudes of wrong doings on my part, nothing abnormal has happened. I plan to give evaluator CPS report, drug test results, times and dates of missed visitations, pictures of shop and house, threatening voicemails from Mom, threatening texts from Mom, and proof she told our daughter "Your Dads a bitch." "He doesnt care about you" "He doesnt help you". Heart touching to hear my little girl say "Yes he does Mommy!" Insane to hear her say "No he doesnt Jordan!" And back and forth like two little kids they did this. Mom tells her so many lies about me, but I just try and say "We're just not going to talk about Mommy right now." It is hard not to defend myself sometimes when our daughter says "Mommy said..................." But to engage her in that would just confuse things even more. We could have sent our kids to college for what this process is costing. This stuff isnt healthy for me, isnt healthy for her, and obviously not healthy for the children. Anyone trying to take a child from their parent to "get even" because they filed for divorce.............PLEASE reconsider the situation, for the sake of your child. I had to fight to get visitation in place (3+ months), and now I worry they are going to take it from us. Please feel free to ask any questions or post any advice that may help keep my children and I together. Thank you and God bless!

[ocean]

Just be honest with evaluator. What we usually say on here is that you can not go in attacking the other parent. Take it slow, answer her questions and add some tidbits to each one without degrading ex. Just say "no, this is what happened, do you want to see the police report/tape/picture". Sometimes we just pulled something out to show. Have the few things you definitely want her to see, ready and copied for her to take. If you do not get to something, see if she is willing to take it with a ONE page cover -bulleting the highlights. She wont read 20 pages. So see what you can say out loud. Be honest and yourself and just show her that you want to be a part of your child's life and want mother to be there too.

[Rusty1]

I am new to this site and not sure how it works, but i am trying to let as many people as I can, know that the CFI/PRE investigation was a HUGE racket during my divorce.
Every CFI proposed to me, was a hack at best, but I was off-balance, scared and trusted my attorney's advice.
The woman we ended up with had already been accused of gender bias (both ways) numerous times, and had to defend herself in court to even get appointed! After she almost ruined my & my daughter's life, I did some more research on her. Other people who used her in the past said she needed "serious psychological help" and that she "cried on the stand" when defending her findings!
And these people make a living, screwing up our children's lives!!!
In my case, the CFI completely ignored significant evidence against my ex, believed all the lies thrown her way, and even listened to the opinion of my cheating ex's, cheating lover as a CHARACTER REFERENCE for parenting skills.

No matter what you do, DO NOT USE DR. MAUREEN COLE as a Child & Family Investigator, as a PRE or as a therapist in any way. The woman is very sick.  She is "licensed" in Colorado, but in this state there is  no means of placing a complaint against a CFI.  what a racket!

[gooddadof2]

i received the eval report yesyerday. It was a very good report and recommends precisely what I have been proposing all along. The party who paid the "entire cost of the evaluation" (in the court papers) is probably not too thrilled that I now have yet another positive document for joint custody. Joint physical and legal custody is absolutely the best for our Children, and her report reflects that. I pray that the judge follows her recommendations, as well as reviews the CPS report. I very much appreciate the advice on this site. Next step- parenting plan. Mine is very long, and covers issues until the Children are grown, hers is an exact 2 page copy of the document the mediators would have presented to the judge-had I agreed to 1 weekend per month, no overnights, supervised visitation, and multiple other stipulations. Even the mediators were surprised to see the document THEY fill out for the judge already typed, printed, and ready to go. Should I shorten my PP? While it is 10-15 pages long, I have numbered every line, double spaced, and included everything I could possibly think of. I think more detail is better than too little. I have read all the plans on this site, and taken from, modified, or added to them. Is a 15 page parenting plan common in a "high conflict" case? Any advice for me at this stage is appreciated. The forums here have kept me grounded and swayed  many tendencies to "bash" Mom through this process. And for anyone new to this, it was my saved voicemails and exchange recordings that I think made the biggest difference. Two paragraphs of her report addressed them. It shows Mom not to be the innocent "victim" in all of this. If it is legal in your state, I recommend getting a digital recorder and keeping it in the vehicle at all times. It would have been a "he said/she said" if I hadn't had recorded conversations between us. Thanks again for constantly reminding me of "What is in the best interest of the Children?" I ask myself of that question before taking almost any course of action. I think it can be all too easy to lose sight of the big picture when going through a divorce. However improper it is, I must say that there is a certain irony in that Moms parents attempt to "ask the court to do whatever it can to keep Mr. xxxxxxxxxxx away from those kids and their daughter" (COMPLETELY unfounded) has only made my case for joint legal and physical custody stronger. Court date is 8 days away!

[ocean]

Keep it all in there. Maybe make a copy and highlight what you want to make sure is in there if you are bringing up one issue at a time. (holidays, summer vacation, ...). You lawyer/you can get a copy to them before hand and ask them to highlight what they agree too already in there, and then you can just argue the rest with the judge. If the GAL is there, then you can see if they will go in with your version and ask judge to make that the order.