Need support and guidance in maintaining custody of my daughter-

[soulguru]

I have had provisional custody of our daughter for two years.  Now the final hearing is coming up tomorrow and it seems as if they are trying to reverse custody through mistruths and hearsay.  The mother of my daughter refused to see her under supervised conditions for a year (which was mandated by a court order stating that we follow the counselor's recommendation) and now her attorney, the GAL, and the Domestic Relations Bureau have all accused me of "obstructing" her visitation rights.  I have never violated any Court Order.  When they pushed for unsupervised visitation with the mother, the Domestic Relations Bureau kept trying to find anything they could use to make it appear as if I was interfering with the visitations (i.e. staying too long at the dropoff because my daughter was crying and I was trying to calm her, even though they said it was okay for me to stay with her until the mother arrived).  The mother does legal translations through the Lake County Bar Association which is why they are pulling strings for her.  I was even told that my daughter could not have a cell phone in which I could contact her while she spent the weekend at her mother's, which is against the Indiana State Guideline to Parenting.  My attorney seems to be going with the flow, which is unfortunate considering I gave him a $6000 retainer.  I need to know what I should do because the hearing is tomorrow.

[ocean]

It is a hearing or did they schedule a trial? Hearings, usually in our experience do not do much. Did the other side ask for custody change or just unsupervised visits?

Stick to the facts "I had a court order that stated supervised visits, I showed up with daughter and mother did not show XX time". Call your lawyer today and ask what the plan is, or ask to meet him a court or a diner an hour before court tomorrow to go over case.

You can not get in the way of visitation though. If child is crying, she will be fine with the supervisors and then should come down with her mother. You have to show the courts that you will help your daughter have  a relationship with both families. (especially as a father). Have your lawyer say that "father encourages child to have a relationship with her mother and family but it need to be safe (and list why she got supervised in the first place and how many times she missed). You/Lawyer do not have a lot of time to talk at hearings...so prepare a statement you want to be heard and see if they do anything tomorrow.

Cell phones-  you can instead have a time you talk to daughter each night before bed, or one time per weekend. Child is supposed to be having fun with mom on that weekend, not getting phone calls from you and possible upsetting her. Tell child to have fun with mom, as child gets older, they will take over and call you if needed.

Is the child school age? If so, you can see if lawyer can postpone and drag this out until school starts. Once school starts, judges usually will not have child change schools.

[soulguru]

The other side asked for emergency custody change.

Our daughter is four years old and is scheduled to start attending the same pre-school that she did last year.

The problem with setting a time before bed to call her is that her mom tries to make it appear to the court that she is terrified of me, so that is why I won't call her phone, unless the court orders her to do so.

[ocean]

Emergency change? For what reason? If it was an emergency then the judge should of dealt with it that day/next day. Is that tomorrow too or today?? If it is ..GO! Sometimes if you see it online and show up, they are shocked and you can tell your side.

I have seen some strange things in family court BUT to go from supervised visits to custody is a stretch.

[soulguru]

Emergency because they feel I am "obstructing" her right to visitation with her daughter.  But I really haven't.  Yes, it's tomorrow and I agree to go from supervised and then unsupervised and then try to get custody within like a month's time is ludicrous.