I know this is wrong & I should be ashamed but.....

[msme]

The PBFH has done it again. Got a call from DGD who has recently moved back to the town we moved from. She is 19 & the PBFH has been telling her how much better her life will be if she moves back. DGD didn't tell her she was coming & is staying about 11 miles from the PBFH. This really burned PBFH's bunns. DGD catches a ride into the town where PBFH lives to look for a job. Around 7:00 she stops by to see her & stays till about 10. At 10:00 she tells her that she hasn't been able to catch a ride back so if it is okay, she will crash there & go job hunting again in the morning. PBFH statrs yelling & cussing at her, & tells her that since she is no longer on visitation, she will not stay there & to get out.
That witch put her out in a very rough neighborhood at 10:00 at night. She walked to a gas station & kept calling everyone she knew till she finally begged someone to come get her. I know I am wrong but I really hope we get a call next month saying she died in childbirth. I am not a person to wish evil on anyone but I am feeling like the baby will definitely be better off without her, & the other kids will really be better off.
Incidentally, DGS#2 came home from summer visitation with ringworm all over, from head to toe. She took him to the ER, causing my DS a huge co-pay & then went to the pharmacy & bought over the counter stuff that still hasn't cleared it.
I am just so tired of the BS & emotional pain. I gave him $10 when he went. She had him use it to buy a fathers day gift for her boyfriend. I asked him what he bought for his dad & he said he would tell me later. He told me that she said to tell us that she helped pay for his dad's gift. I asked what it was & he told me that she said to tell us that he was giving him his good health. I asked how she helped pay for that & he said that it was because she bought the stuff for his ringworm.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! 5 more years, 5 more years!!!!!

[msme]

I should not have said that. I've been around here for nearly 10 years & those who know me also know that I have never sunk this low before. But they also know how far down we can be pushed, yet, somehow still hang on. I watch the pain in my grandchildren's eyes & know that there is nothing we can do to prevent it. I watch my son sink into deep depression & know there is nothing I can do to help him except be there & try to convince him that somehow we will make it.

When we were driving home from TX last week, the PBFH called DGS#2 on his cell phone. She just had to tell him that she put her puppy out on a chain in 112 degree heat while she went to Walmart after we left & when she got back the puppy had gotten tangled up in the chain & died. He would not be back before maybe Thanksgiving but she just had to call and make sure he got upset over it. It wasn't enough that he was dealing with leaving her & having had to say goodbye to his big sister who is setting out on her own. Nope, she just had to make him even more upset.Of course, we should have been used to it. She always does whatever she can to make them sad.

Again, I apologize. I just don't think I have ever felt this low before.

[Kitty C.]

Msme, don't beat yourself up over this.  With all that you and gr8dad have been through for so many years, it's understandable that your patience has to wear thin eventually.  I get that.  I get that it's incredibly painful to have to watch the ones you love go through so much pain and there's absolutely NOTHING you can do about it.  That's where the anger kicks in.  And I can guarantee that there are many here who, in times of pure anger and frustration, have wanted retribution against the ones who have caused the pain.  I'm just as guilty.  In his toughest moments, DH has...thankfully he has me to bounce it off of, instead of acting on it.

And that's why WE are here....who else could you turn to and say those kinds of things to vent your anger and frustration and understand because at some point, we've all stood in the shoes you are in right now.  This is the safest place for you to do that, because I doubt that anyone else...unless they've gone through something similar...would ever understand.

It's called venting, it's called letting out that extreme frustration so that you don't continue to harbor it and keep it bottled up inside you.  I know you, msme.  You can ill afford to let that lowlife keep a grip on you and allow it to eat away at you.  So call it free therapy if you want, but we are here for YOU.

((((HUGS))))

[msme]

Thanks Kitty, I just didn't think I would feel so crappy after I put it into words. Maybe it's bottled up since we moved here, 2 years ago. Back in TX, when the news came on that there was a drive by shooting or a big drug bust, we would listen in hopes it would be her. Then say Dang, not this time & have a good laugh. Of course, not when the kids were around. I guess that was a sort of a release that kinda felt good.

I did do something to help the poor little baby. The hospital that she will be born in has a monitoring program for at risk infants. I contacted them & told them that PBFH has a long history with CPS for violence & physical & mental abuse & neglect. Also that while not formaly diagnosed, the childrens therapist felt she was bi-polar & ODD. I also told them that she has a sweet smile & can charm the birds out of the trees but will become violent if challenged.

Finally I told them that she had numerous Munchhousen incidents with the first 2 kids & used meth with the last one. They told me that all names are scanned through CPS when admitted & CPS will be alerted of the birth of a baby to anyone with a record with them. That was good news, for sure. Her file has been flagged. I also told them to verify the info with the school counselor at the elementary school the kids attended. That she worked closely with the ex to protect the children from her & has remained a friend of the family.
Maybe this kid will have a better chance but I doubt it.

[Kitty C.]

Poor kid's going to come into this world already behind the eight ball.  All they have to do is find drugs on board and the child gets taken away.  First tell-tale sign are the APGAR scores at 1 min. and 5 min.  If there's any sluggishness observed, they will draw for testing immediately.

Munchhausen's by Proxy???  Boy, I hope that's documented well.  Kind of goes along with her personality, I would say.  Hope they keep a VERY close eye on her while she's there....because it's also possible she might sign out AMA (against medical advice).  But if she does that, she will leave without the baby for sure.

It's understandable, msme.  DH has done something similar and I would imagine that every NCP on this site who's had problems with their ex have had similar 'dreams' at some point.  With all they've been through, it's only human...and to be honest with you, about the ONLY way someone would not harbor any ill will against that kind of ex is if they were a saint.....and I know that's not possible!

[msme]

Hmmmmmmm!!!! Saint Msmeee, Hmmmmm!!! Maybe that explains why I haven't murdered her yet. LOL

[msme]

Munchhausen's by Proxy??? Boy, I hope that's documented well. Kind of goes along with her personality (http://deltabravo.net/forum/index.php?action=post;quote=313261;topic=38962.0;num_replies=5;sesc=cd3f7c05720508c91592537ee63bf88f#), I would say. Hope they keep a VERY close eye on her while she's there....because it's also possible she might sign out AMA (against medical advice). But if she does that, she will leave without the baby for sure.

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffffff]We don't know if she actually tried to smother DGD but she would call 911 & tell them the baby wasn't breathing. When they arrived, she would be on the floor crying & doing CPR. DGD would be breathing. They would go to the hospital & run through tests & everyone would say how wonderful she was for saving her. It never happened when gr8dad was home. After several incidents, they put her on a monitor. The next time it happened, they took her to the hospital & swapped out the machine. The next time they swapped it out again & told her that the first machine showed no alam activity. She had a fit & threatened to sue if anything happened to the baby because their machine failed. Of course, it never happened again. [/HIGHLIGHT]
However, at about 6 months old, the little stinker figured out that if she pulled one of the wires loose, daddy & mommy would coming running. LOL They wound up having to sew the sleeves shut & put her gown on backwards.

When DGS#1 was born, PBFH pulled calling 911 saying the baby wasn't breathing once & they immediately put him on a monitor & told her that the machine records every breath & heart beat. He never had another episode. I don't think she would leave AMA, without the baby. The baby is a trophy & a weapon to hurt the other kids with. She keeps telling DGD that she is so glad to finally have her very own child again. DGD asked her what she & her brothers are & she didn't answer.

[Kitty C.]

Question:  Does the dictionary definition of PBFH have her picture right next to it??  That *itch is certifiably psycho!

But it makes me chuckle......it looks like healthcare technology caught up to her shennanigans!

[msme]

Yeah, but it kinda makes me wonder what she will come up with this time. Kinda scares me too. Somehow, she will involve the kids in it & that means we all will pay in the long run. I guess that's what makes me so angry. She plays & we pay. Even from 700 hundred miles away.