Advice needed pls on court case

[Heston]

The BM is court ordered to bring my child to me.  So it's impossible to get a police report which I could do if I picked her up.  It was court ordered this way because the BM and her husband caused terrible problems when the previous CO had me going there for pick ups.  The BM sent an email an hour and a half after she was due to have delivered my daughter saying the child was sick and she would take her to a dr next day.  That is contempt in itself because the CO states that unless a dr writes a note saying the child is too sick to be transported, she must bring her.  She has ignored my emails today asking how my daughter is.  I will make her lawyer aware of it after the holiday.

[Heston]

'Or they have given her something to eat which made her sick  (not unheard of as they've given her laxatives just before visits to me so she spent the entire weekend in the bathroom).'

Have you told ANYBODY about this??  Police?  CPS?  DD's doctor?  Even if you don't have proof, a medical doctor can have labs run to prove if there are laxatives in her system.  If she ever comes to your home like that again, and you suspect the ex has given her laxatives, IMMEDIATELY take her to an ER and have her evaluated.  You HAVE to get this documented, because if you are right, she should be charged with child abuse.  And the only way to make this happen is to have her evaluated by an objective medical professional.  That is probably the ONLY way you can try to get this stopped......
[/quote]

I haven't told anyone.  I guessed they must have done that because it's happened several times and the effect on my daughter has been extreme.  I didn't realize a doctor could do checks on it.  And without evidence I didn't want to go to CPS.  Now you've said she can be evaluated I will definitely do that next time it happens.  There is not much they won't do, to get their own way.  I've read up on parental alienation and know other parents do similar things but their actions are despicable by normal standards.  I am dealing with 3 people, the BM, the step dad and grandma.  They are heavily into PA.

[ocean]

Maybe do a wellness check then? Have her local police go to house and see how child is, ask them to write a report on what they see. Call the local police number (not emergency) explain child was supposed to be dropped off since there have been issues in past, she was not, mother is saying child is too sick and now wont answer phone/emails about child. Ask if they can see child and then write simple report. They may, depending on how busy they are.
Email mom asking when dr appt is tomorrow...(since she is SOOO sick to come, she should be calling the ped emergency number or could of gone today). Keep it simple. Do this after the wellness check if you decide to do that...
Ex,
Got your email about xx being sick today. Please let me know ASAP which dr you took her to today/tomorrow and what the outcome was. If she is really that sick, I want her to rest at home and let me know when we can schedule make-up time.
You

Did she have school yesterday? Did she go?

[Heston]

Update.  I waited on taking any action because I had a hunch their actions were done to provoke.  I had a strong hunch they have been building fake evidence with their local cops and I did not want to contribute to more, as I knew the BM would have programmed my daughter to tell even more lies to them.  I sent further emails to the BM at the weekend.  No response. So having denied me the Labor Day weekend visit, they failed to show up yesterday for the Weds parental exchange and did not inform me they would not show up.  Its now 3 weeks since I saw my daughter.

I sent an email at the weekend asking for confirmation they would be bringing her and a further one asking for an update.  Late last night, having failed to provoke me into any action (assuming that was their aim), I received two emails from the BM.  One was in response to my enquiry over my daughter's wellbeing over the weekend.  No mention of a drs visit.  One was to say my daughter didn't feel well after school yesterday.  This is contempt on two issues.  One failure to provide drs note stating child is too ill to travel.  And second, denied court ordered visits at the weekend and yesterday. 

The sad thing is, I know for sure the court is not going to even give her a slap on the wrist.  I sometimes wonder why courts bother to issue Orders and state its contempt not to follow them because they NEVER give any punishment.  They give the green light to people to disobey Court Orders.

I just obtained reports from the police in the BMs vicinity relating to the case.  There are 100 pages of fake reports!  I have just discovered that ever since this CO went into force 18 months ago, the BM and her mother have been building a fictitious case.  There are lots of reports alleging that I refused to return my daughter after spending parental time with her.  Total lie.  Some of these reports were made while I was transporting my daughter home.  They've sent cops to my house while I was at work stating they were due to deliver the child but I didnt bother to stay home to receive my daughter.  Police reports state father was not home to receive his daughter.  This was on days that were not for scheduled visits but there is no way to prove that as the CO does not give details, it does not say for instance, second and third weekend of every month it says two weekends per month.  And it has alternate Weds but no way for cops to know if the Weds they show up is court ordered.  I didn't even know about this until yesterday.  They have made some heinous accusations too.  Plus, I discovered that on the weekend where the BM arrived almost 2 hours late with my daughter and the cops with a bag of vomit, claiming my child felt sick with fear at seeing me, that my daughter actually told the cops the same heinous stuff that the BM said in her motion filed 3 days later, claiming I had told my daughter the BM would murder her just like another famous murderer had killed her daughter.  They have my daughter brainwashed/alienated to the extent she will even tell brazen faced lies to cops about me, as well as the counselor, the cps and anyone else that can help the BM build up a fictitious case.

I've been wondering why the BM has been ignoring the CO even more than she usually does, these past 6 months.  I knew the BM must think she had some pretty strong evidence, at least in her mind, to get me out of the picture at the hearing.  I can see now why she thinks this.  I know it is hearsay, but it is pretty compelling hearsay I think.  If a child tells the cops she is scared of her father, that her father tells her she is going to be murdered, and that her father locks her in an un airconditioned room for hours at a time, it looks pretty bad.  And the bag of vomit severed the purpose of showing she is literally getting sick with fear.  I have a house with central air conditioning.  I don't do the things they allege.  But impossible to prove.  And people always assume kids are telling the truth.  The BM tells her I want to put her in jail and that she has to do these things so the cops will make sure the BM does not go to jail. 

Not sure how this is gonna go...

[Kitty C.]

I'm going to say this again, Heston.....if the cops, CPS, or courts thought for even an instant that you were remotely capable of doing any of the crap that your ex alleges, they'd have a flashlight up your backside SO far, you'd think you switched sides.  You would have been brought up on charges of child abuse, endangerment, and neglect a LONG time ago.  None of the public agencies she's cried to believe a word of what she's saying.  All those reports surprise you?  It shouldn't, because it's just the ex's MO and the authorities KNOW that.  If they didn't, you would have been enjoying 3 hots and a cot behind bars for quite some time now.

If it seems that your ex's methods appear over the top, I think it's because you don't fully realize what her ultimate goal is.  JMO, but it appears to me that she doesn't just want you out of your DD's life, she wants you PUT AWAY for a very long time.  And she's been uping the ante over the course of the past months because she's realizing that she has to make it look as bad as possible to get that accomplished.  Her problem is that she has no credibility, but she fails to realize that, so she keeps getting more and more drastic, which just continues to prove her lack of credibility.

You ABSOLUTELY have to have an attorney.  Get one....NOW.  Not tomorrow, not next week.....NOW.  You have accumulated a lot of evidence, which is great.....but if you have no idea what to do with it so that it best benefits your DD and you, what's the point?  Get an atty. to help you sort through everything you've gathered and make sense of it all.  They will know best how to proceed with this in regards to legalities, so that the system would be less likely to trip you up.  If you want to use what you know to the BEST benefit of your daughter, GET AN ATTY. NOW.

[Heston]

Just wanting to give an update.  The BM has stopped me seeing my daughter for some weeks now.  In fact since the day I took my daughter to an appointment with CPS.  I have just filed a motion for parental interference because there is such a long list of denied visits from Spring to the current time.  Included in it is the BM cancelling a dental apt, and denying the visit that day also, so my daughter couldn't attend.  An MD had examined my daughter and determined she had dental problems.  I took her to a dentist and made a follow up apt for the following weekday she would be with me.  I let the BM know this by email.  Without telling me the BM cancelled the apt and threatened the dentist she would take him to court if he ever saw my daughter again.  She then failed to deliver my daughter.  I phoned the dentist and found out what had happened. 

The BMs attorney kept me waiting a week over deadline for the BMs discovery evidence, received yesterday.  The BM has been making fictitious claims to put it politely.  She claims I lock my daughter in cars in hot weather, don't feed her the entire weekend, and lock her in a room with no air conditioning.  My daughter has been programmed to repeat this to whomever the BM wishes, on the fear that her mom will go to jail if she doesn't.  So the BM wants to get supervised visits, whereas I have joint physical and legal custody.  The BM also made 120 pages worth of false police reports about me over the past 18 months, which I recently uncovered.  I read reports from the counselor who states my child is kept for long periods without food and is treated badly by me, due to what my daughter has been forced to tell her.

The sleazy lawyer changed his franking machine to show the discovery was sent two days before it was, and meanwhile the docs inside the envelope were dated two days later.  So I am up against a slimeball attorney with no conscience.

I asked my previous lawyer if she could act for me but she can't without a large retainer and since I lost my job I don't have an option now of representation.  The BMs attorney will not want a pro se litigant to beat him in court so is likely to try any dirty tactis he has to in order to win the case.

I will petition the court to remove the counselor as a witness, if I can find out how to do it.  I have grounds that are pretty good for her removal.  The BM has listed her other children as witnesses and her husband and mother.  Naturally, they will all lie under oath because lying is what they do. 

My case is based on logic and truth and law, ie showing contempt of the JCO.  The BMs case is based on lies and false reports to attorneys, police, counselors and cps.  Her lies are pretty convincing since she is an expert manipulator.

I dont have many witnesses.  And I don't want to put my son through the trauma of being a witness although he has witnessed most events.  I just wondered if anyone else has been in a similar situation as I am trying to figure out the best way to handle this in the courtroom.

Thanks in advance for any advice/suggestions.

[ocean]

I know you think she is so out there but this is what happens when ex's play hardball with the kids. Judges see this, and just go in there and try your best. Do not allow the other lawyer to speak to judge unless you are there (for mini-meetings, both lawyers should be there). Do not get caught up in the other lawyer or what they are doing. Just keep repeating you want what is best for the kids and to have a healthy relationship with children but mother has repeatedly denied visits and false accusations.

Our ex did same things and more. She had a lawyer. Her lawyer will probably dropped her after a while and she will get a new one. They take ex's money until it runs out and then they get tired of representing a crazy ex.

Judge has seen and heard it all. Focus on kids, dont let other lawyer under your skin or get you upset. They will try to show that you are the crazy one. Remain calm no matter what comes up.

Really try to get court ordered counseling with new counseling and a solid new parenting plan with no loop holes plus now that you have contempt charges you can now ask for lawyer fees if she denies future visits and ask for make-up time for all the time missed (exact make-up days to be ordered with dates and times, ..father to get the next 6 weekends to make up missed visits from fri. XX to sun XX ...or whatever. )

Motion for parental interference?? What is that? We have contempt of court for denying visits ..it in criminal but dealt with in family court.

[Heston]

Thanks Ocean.  It's reassuring to hear that.  I figured the attorney will try and make me appear crazy.  I will keep my cool and stick to the facts.  I have proof on some issues that show beyond doubt there have been false allegations, such as the false dog cruelty claim.  I figure if I can prove the things I can prove and let the judge see what the BM is about, it will cast doubt on the allegations I cannnot prove, things that no one could prove.  If it was criminal court the onus would be on the BM to prove unsubstantiated allegations.  As it is, I will do my best to prove what is proveable.  This is the BMs 4th attorney!  Some of the "evidence" is pathetic.  The BM has a photo of a tote bag she claims I damaged and a photo of a broken phone the BM claims I damaged.  Anyone can take photos and say someone else did it. But some of the BMs allegations are heinous although totally false.

I filed a motion for contempt.  I was thinking of custodial interference when I typed my post and put that in error.  I did a contempt motion with 17 points citing denied visits and that's only from Spring till now and doesnt include all of them.  I already filed a motion for contempt a few months ago and that involved many other issues besides denied visits.  I still haven't gone thru all the discovery but what I have seen so far is pretty awful.

[Heston]

Update:  I posted before about the counselor my daughter has been seeing. I already reported her to the APA via her psychologist boss although the counselor is not qualified herself  It is interesting to see an unethical person like this slip up.  In the medical notes I requested some months ago, the counselor stated that she advised my daughter to act as another character to deal with the stress of going to my house.  (The stress is actually the hostility she has to endure before she sees me, during transitions although the counselor is blinded to that small detail!).  In the notes for the discovery evidence the counselor states that my daughter goes to my house as a certain character and the counselor states she is shocked and concerned that my daughter is acting as another character to cope!  Nailed!

[Heston]

Further update: I've had time to go through discovery.  It's full of page after page of false allegations, i.e. the BM interrogates my daughter every time she returns from parental time with me and records it.  She has then used the little bit of truthful information and added tons of lies and distortions.  All of it is designed to show me as a terrible father, with accusations of neglect, violence, yelling, etc.  None of it is true.  There are hundreds of pages of these allegations.  It also transpires that either the step dad or grandma have been covertly taking videos of me from nearby locations, getting into my car, etc and turning whatever they have on film that is entirely innocent, into fictitious but damning allegations.

The BM wants me out of my child's life for good.  I have joint legal and physical custody, which took me many years of persistence and a great deal of money to obtain. The only way the BM has, to get rid of me, is to prove I am a danger to my child and she is going for the kill.  I realize judges don't have time to listen to each side explaining things, so I wondered if anyone might know the best way to handle these accusations in court.  Out of necessity, I am having to appear pro se.