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Late Return

Started by Remi2, Jul 25, 2011, 08:00:19 AM

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Remi2

I just need to vent...again.  There are no set drop-off/pick-up times in the CO for summer vacation.  Usually the NCP will drop-off in between 7pm - 8:30pm.  Well, yesterday by 8:45pm the child was not home.  I called the NCP's cell phone to inquire about the child's whereabouts no answer.  So I left a message.  No return call.  I left another message at 9:00pm and sent an email. Still no return call and no response to the email.  I called the paternal grandmother's house and left a message.  In both messages that I left at 9:00pm, I said that I would contact the authorities if did not recieve a call back.  By this point I am panicking.  I don't know whether to call the police or not.  I am conflicted that what if she doesn't come back and I didn't call or there has been accident.  Well, I called the police at 9:12pm.  About 10 mins. after the call to the police the paternal grandmother calls from her cell phone saying that there were lost by this time I was an emotional wreck it was going on 9:30pm.  She claims they had been driving for 2 hours because they were lost, they left the house at 7:13pm, they didn't want to stop and ask for directions in downtown or anywhere because they were afraid of the area, the cell wasn't charged, the child was sitting on the cell phone charger in the car seat.  Excuse after excuse after excuse she apologizes but it does not come across as sincere at all in my opinion.  Now in the past (since last Oct.),  the paternal grandmother routinely has dropped off the child at my home every other Wednesday (for the CO weekly dinner night) after she picked up the child after school. She has also picked up the child from my home for visitation.  So the excuse of 'We were lost...' doesn't fly with me.  The phone call between the paternal grandmother and I was very tense.  The officer arrived and I explained that the paternal grandmother called and the situation.  He said to give them about an hour to show up.  They finally arrive at 10:05pm.  The paternal grandfather apologized profusely for being late.  He came across as believeable.  The paternal grandmother stayed in the truck.  If the roles were reversed this would be like me taking the child on the day the NCP was coming to pick up the child, have him wait around not return his calls and do not arrive until 2 hrs later saying that I was lost leaving the previous location I was at and I couldn't find my way home. 

It's the next day, I still feel a little emotinally drained and mad.  First, I mean how inconsiderate not to even call early on and say 'We're lost but we're coming.'   I would have understood.  Second, I find it hard to believe that if I buy that exucse that they were lost they couldn't have pulled into a gas station or fast food restaurant and asked for directions.  Third, the NCP doesn't send courtesy notice that the grandparents will be dropping off the child.  This is all just so wrong and inconsiderate all the way around.   

gemini3

Go back and ask the judge for specific pick-up and drop off times, and make a specific location.

I also recommend that the person who is beginning the parenting time pick up the child.  So, when their parenting time ends you pick up the child; when they start visitation they pick up the child.  It reduces lateness because no one wants to miss out on their parenting time.

There's really nothing you can do about the grandparents picking up or dropping off.

Remi2

Thanks gemini3.  I have no issue with the grandparents picking up or dropping off.  My issue was the lack of consideration to inform me via a return call, text message, or email that the child would be (what I consider to be) returned very late and the flimsy excuses.  I do agree with asking the judge to specify pick-up and drop-off times for summer vacation.  I will address that.

txmom702

Are the times they normally drop off or pick up during the day, when it is light outside?
Sometimes in the dark, things look completely different, and it can get confusing easily...  Especially for older people.
Just a thought.