Filing for Joint Physical Custody without a lawyerr

[kappalsd]

First of all let me say that this is new for me.  I have 2 boys, 3 and 6 and i have taken care of them since they were born and i continue to do so today.  Me an their mother split up about 4 months ago and recently i started seeing someone else.  Since the split and because of my work schedule, i can only get my boys every other weekend but just today i was served child support papers.  Im a bit angry but i love my boys and really dont care about the child support that much just mainly more concerned about getting at LEAST joint custody of them. 

My money is stretched thin with everything i have going on now including student loan garnishments and hiring a lawyer isnt an option.  I have some experience in the Law field as my degree is in Criminal Justice but i know the custody process can be tedious and requires you to be very cognizant of certain laws and procedures. 

My question to anyone that knows is, who there be something that i can read such as legal docs that can assist me with my lone crusade to garner joint custody of my boys?.....am i fighting this fight only to prolong the inevitable?  I need any assistance....i reside in Alabama so this would be under Alabama laws.

ANy info would be appreciated


Thanks

[ocean]

If there is no custody paperwork in place, then you can file yourself in family court (call and find out where the office is, here it is around the corner from family court house). You would file for Joint custody paperwork with a parenting plan.
Joint legal custody= have a say in medical and educational decisions
Joint physical custody= near split of time children stay with each parent (usually done if parents live near each other- school reasons and if they can get along for the most part).

If you fill out this paperwork soon, they should/may put the two cases together (child support and yours) in front of same judge. Some areas have you go through mediation first to see what you guys can work out without the judge decision and anything left will go before a judge.

Ask for the moon, half custody and work/negotiate from there. There are many parenting plans...you can do longer weekends and bring children to school on Monday...you can have a few dinner/week day visits a month or you can fight and try for the half time. If you are saying your work situation will interfere with that, you need to think about what you really can do/want.

There is a thing called First Right of Refusal- means you get child if mother is working or needs a babysitter (put that in there with an hours limit- if mother needs babysitter over 2 hours...). This also works for her too, so she gets them. You can put that spouses of either parent can (can not) watch children over bio parent.

Ask questions here, many of us have done part of this on our own...look up your state family court, many courts have the fill in the blank papers online.

[2hoosierhearts]

At this time and date money is tight for everyone due to the economy .. However, speaking from personal experience going into court proceedings without an attorney was an absolute nightmare for me!! I will elaborate .. My ex took me to court to modify custody of our two girls, the oldest at the time was 16yrs of age and she decided that she no longer wanted to follow the rules of my home and being as her father had "no rules" she wanted to live with her father.

My ex stopped paying child support for 8 months and hired an attorney. I was unable to afford an attorney as my income was only enough to keep mortgage paid, household expenses up while raising our daughters.

Anyways, our youngest daughter wanted to stay with me while the oldest wanted to live with her father. Prior to our court date, my ex assured me that I had nothing to worry about that he had changed his mind and decided against wanting custody. As did my oldest, needless to say on the court date and in the court room everything changed. I found myself in the middle of an absolute nightmare (of which I still exist in). My oldest told the judge that she didn't want to live with me and that she wanted to live with her father.

The judge ultimately granted my ex custody of our two daughters. Mind you the youngest was adament as it states in the legal papers that she did not want to live with her father, the judge went against her wishes stating that he did not want to seperate the girls. It didn't matter that ex was behind in child support, was working 3rd shift and would not be with the girls from 6pm-7am and lived two counties away!

I apologize, I seemed to have gotten a little carried away .. Basically, my point is this even if you and your ex agree prior to court proceedings things might be changed on you once actually in the court room. It's excellent that you have some legal knowledge (in my case I thought "common knowledge" was enough) I feel it most important that you do seek legal representation. Perhaps, explaining your financial situation offering to make payments etc.

I can't help but wonder if today's judges frown upon those that enter a court room without representation sure seems to have been the case in my situation .. ex appeared with an attorney and I couldn't afford one .. now I look back and think to myself "how could I have afforded not too".

I wish you the best of luck along your journey and I hope you receive all that you seek! It's important for children to have both parents active in their life, hopefully you and your ex will be able to work together for the better well being of your children.

[ocean]

Always better to have someone that knows the family court system but I can tell you that many of us have spent thousands and thousands of dollars to have the family court to use ANY common sense and drag things out for years that people can not afford to keep one that long.

Another option would be to ask a lawyer to hire them for court dates and you do the run around and put in paperwork at court and pay the court fees yourself. Tell lawyer not to respond to anything from opposing side and your hire and fire them after each court hearing.