She LET us have parenting time???

[ladiva23]

This lady is off her rocker.

I know the advice given to me two weeks ago was to only contact BM in case of emergency, but on Saturday, I wrote to her to let her know it was okay to call the house sometimes for the kids, instead of making it into some kind of chore for the kids to call their mother. -Side note, we decided to have them call her every other day, because it was becoming redundant... "I think you should call your mom and say 'hi'."  "ummm... can we do it later? or I don't want to."  - left up to the children (5 & almost 8 -) they'd never call her.

Then, my DH text her yesterday so she could provide us with the correct number to the grandmother and father, whom the kids are with everyday prior to this month long visiting time.  BM replied "They will speak with their grandparents when they come back from your house."  Now, I don't know if this is the truth or a lie, because they g'parents have such a strong bond with the girls.  So I wrote her an e-mail and said "Its important for the kids to continue relationships with all adults that they love and who love them while being at our house." (I don't think we should live in this fantasy world of having the luxury to not have to interact with their family, and I wouldn't pin that on the kids either, that this is the way its going to be when you come to dad's house.) I asked BM doesn't she think all adults should put differences aside and have positive interactions concerning the kids and especially in front of the kids.

She replies "I put my differences aside a long time ago."  (WHAT!!!!!!! in March when ACS, Special Victims Unit and the Forensic Psychologist said that my husband did NOT sexually molest his daughters???) She goes on to say "If that were the case, then I wouldn't have allowed the girls to have this visiting time with YOU and their FATHER."

Where's the I DIE button on this forum.  Is she serious?? I think she is.  I wanted to reply so bad, 1st of all sweetie, a JUDGE ordered that the father have makeup time with the kids, not you.  The only reason you agreed is because you thought that would be enough, and that he would drop the full custody suit, essentially allowing you to get off scottfree with your false allegation.  You were sorely disappointed when our attorney said "That's great your honor, we know the kids and their father are looking forward to making up missed time.  At this time, we'd like to move forward to trial for full custody." Your face fell, and you looked devastated. 

If she wants to be real, and if I had the emotional intelligence of a grade school child, that's what I would have replied back.  But I just wanted to share my aggravation.  She feels "uncomfortable" talking to my DH, because she lied about the sexual molestation, and now she feels like its easier to speak with me.  But I just feel like I'm so done with her pretentious, self-righteous indignation.

I don't have to deal with her, so I don't know why I feel so guilty if I DON'T keep her involved or keep her in the loop.

[sunlitbeauty]

I can relate to your situation!
I am a father who lives in BC who has been falsely accused of sexual abuse of my now 9 year old daughter who lives with my mother.
I am a retired veteran of the Canadian Forces who lives on a limited pension.
I support my wife and three children (excluding my 9 year old daughter), aged 6yrs, 3yrs and 1 yrs old.
I do not have money due to my limited income for the services of an attorney, and my mother is denying access to my daughter at present.
Are there any advocates in Canada that could help me with this situation?
I do not believe that it is in the best interests of my daughter to not be able to see me.
This is not the first time that my mom has disobeyed a court order, and denied access.
It is my hope that there might be an advocate out there that could help me with this delicate situation.
The incident was submitted to protective services (Called The Ministry of Children and Families up here in Canada), and it was immediately dismissed by them. There was never an order, nor an investigation. This would probably be due to the fact that nothing has ever occurred of this nature between myself and my daughter. As I stated, I have three other children that I live with with my wife of 7 years. My other daughter would never say anything of this nature about me, as I am a very loving father and I have never abused my children. I have abused myself in doing back breaking work in order to support my family (12 hours shifts doing concrete hi-rise forming, ie. building towers) out of love for my kids to be able to have a good life, and to have the things that they need. I joined the military after the recession back in 2008 destroyed any chance I had of employment as a Journeyman Carpenter. I was injured while serving in the Canadian Forces, and I now live on a very limited income to support my wife and four children with. This issue came up around Christmas, and my oldest daughter has not received her presents to this date, and I am afraid to the amount of brainwashing that my mother (her grandmother) is subjecting her to.
I am afraid that if this is allowed to go too far, that my other three kids may lose access to me, their loving father. I have read about cases where the judge has decided to remove access in family court even when no clear evidence of a sexual offence is present. I served my country, had my livelihood taken away from me due to the severe nature of my injury(chronic pain in my lower back and left leg, which is partially paralyzed, plus three compressed discs from my military service), and now I am having the one thing threatened that I value more than anything else...access to my children, and their right to have their father, a true family man, taken away from them!