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Forced mediation

Started by bobcat, Apr 24, 2006, 02:51:32 PM

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I divorced my ex in 2002, I had joint custody of my son who was 4 at the time. In August of 2003, my ex claimed that my son didn't want to see me, 'revoked' my visitation with him, via email. When I protested, she called the police, and told them that I threatened to kill her, no witnesses...her word against mine. I was arrested for meancing. She took out a restraining order so I couldn't see my son. I got the charges dropped, but lost custody of my son.
We had a temporary parenting plan put in place by the judge, but it expired July 2004. The judge required us to be in mediation in order to make any changes, or to handle any disagreements between us.
My question has to do with this forced mediation requirement.
During the period between when I was arrested, and the time I lost custody my ex wanted to see a mediator with me. I agreed to this, but when I refused to see the mediator she wanted to use, and suggested a different one, she claimed that I was abusive, and her lawyer quoted some law about how we couldn't be in mediation if one person claimed abuse.
I did my custody hearing pro-se, so I didn't realize when the judge asked me if I wanted to use a mediator to resolve our "issues", that I would be forced into a mediator "only" situation, with no legal recourse.
I am only seeing my son 5 hours a week because my ex needs a baby sitter.
How can the court entertain the idea that I am abusive, and not allow us to be in mediation, and then require me to be?
I can't afford to be in mediation, can this be used against me...it could be a couple of more years for me to recover from the damages all of this has caused me?
Is there anything that I can do?
I live in Colorado.


You need to motion the court to waive the mediation, as your ex has made unsubstantiated abuse allegations and is refusing to mediate due to her allegations and has effectively prevented you from gaining a remedy through mediation.

Go to Socrateaser's Board and ask him. He is a lawyer and can give you  proper advice. Just remember to follow his MANDATORY posting guidelines.
A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.


if there is a hint of any kind of domestic violence or abuse, a mediator must complete additional training in order to actually do the mediation.

Mediation is not impossible, but some other stuff needs to be put in place for the protection of all parties.

AND there are recommended things and ways to word the final order.

One example is "neutral" exchange locations -- or exchanges that don't require the parents to do any of the transportation (like if they live in the same school zone, let the kids use the bus).

The focus of this type of mediation is "no contact necessary" down the road.


Thanks for your suggestions 4honner, and mixedbag, I will prepare some questions for Socrateaser per his guidelines. There is a lot more to this than what I posted. It's confusing because the judges have ignored the (old)parenting plan, and just react to whatever my ex says, I don't know what my legal rights are anymore?


Your legal rights are enforced through the court system and they're stated in the (old) parenting plan.

Now getting the court to enforce it is a long uphill road.

Good luck and above all, keep pushing and don't give up on the children.