don't know where to begin

[waitinginfaith]

I am overwhelmed.  I went through a HORRIBLE four years trying to get my visitation for my first son.  So, my next son's mother knows that I am afraid of the court system, don't have the money, and just don't want another battle.  She manipulates, and has even become friends with my first son's mother!!(who now says that I if I ever date again, she will take me BACK to court because she doesn't want anyone else around him)...How do I get custody (joint) of my second son without a huge battle?? I want to do it peacefully so what do I need to do to make sure I get it when I file?
And, how do I live my life without worrying about what my first son's mother is going to do?  Is there any way to prevent her from controlling me?