Minimal Visitation....

[Rogerstonewall]

Well, where too start...

I guess a quick run down would be best...

I left an abusive relationship in Feb of 2011, I had applied for a Protection after protection order from my abusive ex-wife, now 9 months later, we are in the custody phase. 

From Feb to August of this year, my ex kept my children from me.  I was not allowed to see them, if I called, she would hang up, when I did talk too them, they sounded coached and I could whispers in the background before my kids spoke. 

We had GAL appointed to our case and thru her manipulation and use of her family, I now have very little visitation time.  She has claimed that I have posted disparaging comments on social media sites and that i have abused my children.  I had my kids briefly earlier this year in which she got a judge too sign an Ex Parte order to get them back, all the while we had police at our apartment each week, which is now going to cause us too loser our home.

The GAL report is full of false information and she used her family to manipulate the findings.  I have hard copies of the their comments from the social media website and this doesn't seem to make a difference.  I have her and her family blocked, so they have no access anyway.

If anyone here has advice or knows of an attorney in Whatcom County, WA that is willing to help me Pro Bono, please let me know.  I'm now at the point where I can't go any further without help.  My kids are being taken from me by her using the legal system to get her way and the state of Washington refuses to do anything about it.

[ocean]

What is the schedule now? Is the law guardian still with the case? Do you have a court date coming soon?
First I would stay off or not post at all pictures on anything like facebook. People have fake accounts or become friends with friends so they can see more of your page. Until things calm down, do not do anything on there.

[shellcode]

I smell Parental Alienation going here

[shellcode]

how old is your kids?

[Rogerstonewall]

The guardian is done with the case when his report is in.

I feel the parental alienation is in fact happening.  My Kids are 8 and 5.  My ex also used her family as her references who have posted threats and other disparaging comments in the past.  I have supplied the courts with those documents. 

My personal feeling is that my fate was decided before I even got a chance to speak. 

48 hours a month and two weeks for the summer.  That's it...  I'm not happy with it and will be going for a modification.  Because of my ex's family and their lies, I have to do a minimum of ten hours anger management as well.  I will be asking the court for her to pay the fees for the counseling and that she seek counseling herself with a different counselor than she used already....

I will say that my sexual preference is listed at the very top of the report, as is my place of living, and my employment, that to me speaks of then using my housing and lifestyle against me and employment as well, which is discrimination.  My girlfriend and I are in a monogamous relationship and have been from the start.  If they use that against me, I will be bringing that up in further court cases or putting in a motion for moving the case to a different county all together.

 

[ocean]

Slow down....family court is not like criminal as you are starting to see...

If you were ordered anger management, go get that done ASAP. You will have to pay for that if they ordered it. May be covered under health insurance or call social service or your local library for classes. You need to play their game. Once you finish the class, get the certificate and continue your visitation. Then go back to court for modification based on you finished class, kids are doing fine, and you would like to move to standard visitation.

You can file the modification papers yourself but the judge will probably not accept them now, do that class, get a few visitations done this way (take pictures of you with kids), start making a picture book for their memories and your evidence.

Go to kids school, get on their mailing list and online parent password if they have that. Get copies of their records. Ask to have their teachers call you. Do not go into the whole thing with them, just say you want to try and stay involved, you will help when you have kids, and if there are any way to get notices and activities at school. You are allowed to go to school, just can not sign them out. You can go to class parties, volunteer, go on trips, watch plays or concerts. If kids are in any outside activities, same thing. Can go to fields, dance class...

[Rogerstonewall]

I'll get the classes done, but that just makes me feel even more victimized by her and her family.  This has been ongoing since I left her earlier this year.  So far I've had three Protection orders filed (two from me) and the latest one is holding as far as I know (meaning no order for dismissal).  Unfortunately it was her Ex Parte order (filed when I had the kids on an arranged summer visit before the Parenting Plan was in effect) that is being used here.

At least the judge saw the DV between her and I. She was physically violent with me the night I left.  She was also very manipulative throughout the nearly ten years we were married.

I've been using fathersandfamilies.org as a research tool and have been able to use it to defend myself against her allegations up to this point.  However I can't go any farther other than using her and her families threats on my FB page....

[ocean]

If the kids are named on that restraining order, be careful about the school or going there until that is lifted.
I understand about that class, but just take it. It may even teach you how to handle her.

Not sure what is going on with your facebook but block her whole family and only keep very close friends and your family that you trust totally on there for now. Your ex could of friended one of your friends and can see more than you think. Be very careful. Do not respond to anything. IF you have access to theirs, print it out. If it becomes harassment on you, see if your state has harassment online laws. NY just passed one last year I think. Go to your police station for charges on that.

Ignore them as much as possible. We are 10 years into this and we watch some facebook pages too but it can not become your life. Agree to look once a week and start to have them out of your daily life. It is hard during court.

You are not going to change your ex or her family on how they act so start ignoring A LOT. Find ways to enjoy the time you do have with your child and when they get older, they will be asking to see you more. Once they are older you can have access to their cell, facebook, stuff like that too. It is down the road...

We also had it court ordered to have kids in counseling with father. That way a 3rd party was able to see them in action, they could talk without ex hovering over them, and the therapist brought up things that were happening and told the kids the real way things were. The only issue we had, is this therapist could not control ex from walking in and taking kids the last time because she did not like the kids were laughing with their dad. Last time she brought them...So maybe you can ask for that in your next petition...but you ask to pick counselor. Go and interview some first...

You are not alone....family court does not always work in the best interests of child/father relationship....

[Rogerstonewall]

As for FB, they are all blocked.  I found another page from the ex and blocked it too.  My posts are never publicly available, and I have blocked a few friends of ours who I felt were suspicious.  There is another right now that I am watching very closely as it was listed that said person was living with her....  Hmmm.... 

I haven't said anything publicly as I am better than that.   My profile is also locked down too.  No posts or pictures are public....

I'm going to ask the court that she seek counseling with a counselor different than that which she has used.  I also will be asking the court to order her to pay as I can't afford to. This of course is at a later date.  Kill with kindness...

WA state does have Anti-harassment laws and protection orders.  Thats how I got the first one instated, before the judge here overruled it.  Speaking of the judge here....  Holy moly...  BAD judgement skills and EVEN WORSE treatment of people.  Said judge has multiple complaints against them....(Yes, I researched)

[ocean]

Going to be hard to have it ordered that SHE go to counseling unless she is diagnosed with something you can prove. Focus on child, like I said, you will never change her. Some ex's, they feed off the attention and the negative.