Feeling Helpless

[Vinh]

My 13 (soon to be 14 on 9/22) son in Boston wants to live with me in San Diego.  He has pleaded that I go to court and ask for custody.  Please advise me what I need to do.  Thank you in advance for your time.

[Giggles]

What is your relationship like with the custodial parent?  Would you be able to discuss this issue with them or would they freak out?  Have you spoken to your son, what are his reasons for wanting the custody switch?  I would say your first course of action is to find out what the home environment is like.  Is it hostile?  Or does Son just not want to follow the rules?  Once you've determined that it would be in your son's best interest to live with you, then you petition.  If it's just teenage angst with the CP, you could face a tougher problem.  Is there a chance you could have son evaluated by a psycologist?  That report could weigh heavily in your favor if there is a problem in the home.

THere are far more things you will need to do...but this will get you started...

[Vinh]

She and I get along when it comes to issues regarding for the benefit of the kids.  She does not want the child to live with me.  At this point, only hearsay as to why she objects to the child living with me.  The child does not want to live with his mother because he feels stressful and have always dealt better with me when I lived in Boston (not with the mother though) a year ago.  I moved to San Diego a year ago because it was better for me.  The child and I spoke about the move and has from day one wanted to live with me.  I told him to speak with his mother and convince her.  I did not do anything with the court then because he was younger then and I wanted to give him a chance to convince her.  I did not want to get the court involved since I thought it would be best if he could convice her so.  He has told a therapist that he wants to live with me.  But the therapist feels that he is not mature to make the decision.  I have told my son that this cannot be a flip/flop decision and it must be made with sound mind and judgement.  

[ocean]

Will Mom allow to have him come for one school year? Give her as much school vacation as possible. Get the school calendar by you and see what you can come up with and then give her a chance to look at it all.

[ocean]

Will Mom allow to have him come for one school year? Give her as much school vacation as possible. Get the school calendar by you and see what you can come up with and then give her a chance to look at it all.

[Vinh]

That is part of the issue.  I am fine with having the child try it for one year and if he wants to go back, that is fine with me.  My contention is that my son is mature to make his own decision.  His mother disagrees.