My kid taken to another state!

[CallMeDaddy]

Hi all! Just found this site lookin' for info on my current custody situation. Any help/advice is appreciated...

The Situation:

My baby mama and I have been split for 3 years now and have a 3.5 year old (only 1 kid) together.  We both found new partners, but I continued to watch my son every weekend over the past 3 years as I work 40-50 hours a week with only two days off, so I'd take him for 1-2 nights at a time. She is a stay at home mom re-married to a army guy, living on the base, so she watches him 24/7 during the week.  Currently her new husband has been reassigned to another base 900 miles away in another state (4 year assignment). She up and moved with him telling me I can visit whenever I'm in the area and she'll be back to visit often. It's been 3 months since the move and not only has she not visited, I've bought plane tickets to go see my son for his birthday and she says she'll let me see him for 2 hours!

I feel I've been real lineant in what she wants, but this has gone too far. What can I do to have my son back in my life more!?

[ocean]

Do you have a court order for visitation ever?

[CallMeDaddy]

No, we have never taken anything to court, it has all been handled by mutual agreement.

[ocean]

If you have never been to court about child support or visitation then you can go down to your family court house and ask where you file paperwork. You want to file for joint custody and a parenting plan. Since she moved, she should be paying for transportation to you. Child is young and if you fly you will need a second ticket right now until around age 5 when they can fly alone. If you drive, then you can meet half way or work something out. You will be given a parenting plan that will be court ordered.  Make sure it has exact times and days whenever possible. It should cover holidays, summers, birthdays and school vacations. Once you have a plan in place it is VERY hard to change so think ahead for school. What happens if they move again? Put in a plan if they live less than a 100 miles. Get it all on paper. Look on this site for parenting plans on the details that should be put in it so you have less of a headache later on.

You can hire a lawyer in your area to file for you too and have her served. If you can come up with an agreement then the judge will just sign it but make it a court order so she can not change her mind later. If you do it yourself, there are companies that you hire in her area that will serve her or some states have the sheriff's office do it.

Once you fill out the paperwork, a copy will have to be served to her with the court date. You show up at the court date and many times it gets put off a few dates. Since she is coming from out of state you might get lucky and may settle in one day, depending if she gets a lawyer.