NCP caught between a rock and a hard place

[kjsdad]

My ex-wife and I have been divorced since 2008. We divorced in Louisiana and she returned home to Georgia with our son who's now 6 years old. Our divorce decree doesn't state an amount for child support so we opted to have me pay her monthly car note as she wasn't going to be able to pay for it herself, but needed to keep it to look for jobs, take our son to appointment etc. Anyway as of February of 2012 I've since paid the car off and want to start paying child support. The car note was 350.00 a month as she assumed that I would pay that amount to her in child support after I've expressed to her over and over again that it was a struggle to do that every month. She doesn't want to go to court, but she doesn't want to accept the 215 a month plus 150 every 6 months for clothes, shoes, etc. in addition to me covering his school fee as well as extracurricular activities. I suggested this because by paying this way I will still be able to avoid to live. Someone has placed it in her head that she's to get 611 a month because I'm in the military and it's based on my rank. That's not necessarily true, anyway. My ex wife hasn't had a stable job the entire time that I've known her and still lives with her mom rent free. I don't know what to do if she doesn't want to go to court since she can't afford the court cost. It was suggested to me to seek custody of our son since she isn't working. Is that reasonable? Are there examples of a child support agreement that I can view for help?

[neutron11]

Most states offer child support calculators where you can see what you would need to pay to BM based on your salary and and her salary. If she doesn't have a job, court will impute her minimum wage. Check it out and show her the result. If it's more than what you are offering, she will probably want to go to court. The fact that BM isn't working is not a change in circumstances to reverse custody (unless children are in danger because of this) so I don't see how you can get custody based only on that fact.

[ocean]

You will not get custody living out of her state. You are dealing with two states and it is very hard to get custody from a mother without proven neglect.

You can file child support papers too if you want to get credit for it. You really should go through the state. The money you used for the car does not count. Most courts will go back to the date either of you filed in court BUT there have been some cases that the judge ordered back child support so be very careful.

Child support is based on numbers only and usually only the father's paycheck. Here it is 17% of your income so figure how much it would be with come to.

Take the money that you were paying, put it into a savings account until it gets to court. Anything you give her will be considered a gift. If you do give her anything, send a money order with child support written in memo but even that may not count with some judges.

Child support court is free here to file. Call and see how much it is in your state, should not cost her anything to file to start a case.