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Custodial mom's new husband blocking communication

Started by blabbity, Apr 06, 2012, 03:23:11 PM

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My best friend divorced last year in September, got the standard visitation (every other weekend and Wednesday evenings).  Communication with his ex was argumentative after the divorce, but at least she was communicating.  She got engaged in December (3 months after the divorce), and slowly her communication ground to a halt.  She stopped responding to any if his emails around February.  She wouldn't answer any of his questions or concerns.  Although she does still allow him phone access to his kids and hasn't interfered with visitation (even though she threatened it on occasion).  She got remarried in early March.  A few weeks ago, my friend sent her an email asking when his son's scout meeting time had been changed to and told her he was worried about his daughter's homework not getting turned in.  He got a response from her new husband of two weeks saying that due to the harassing emails my friend had been sending, any further communication about the kids (the new husband referred to them as "our children") would have to go through him.  Apparently the custodial mom has since blocked my friend's email and told him that if he texts her, she'll consider it harassment.  My friend tried sending her a certified letter with his concerns outlined and she refused it.

Can a new husband step in like that and demand that all communication go through him, when he's no party to the divorce/custody agreement?


Absolutely not.  Not sure what can be done legally (perhaps someone else can step in and assist) but I'd have my lawyer send a letter stating that she respond to concerns.  If that doesn't work, file something with the courts requesting that she communicate and state that classifying his communications with her as harassment is unwarranted and unfounded.  Or ask for a mediator through which all communication would go through BUT that the new stepparent needs to butt out.
The wonderful thing about tiggers is I'm the only one!


The new husband/stepdad cannot step in and state that all communication concerning the child must come through him.  As a matter of fact he actually has zero rights when it comes to the child.  He is the mother's husband and that is pretty much it.  While I would recommend an amicable way of communication you do not have to discuss a single thing with him.

If the order is standard then it is probably written in the order that you have a right to certain information and if requested she must comply. 

I would recommend sending a certified letter asking for the specific information you are requesting.  If the Ex does not comply then contempt charges can probably be started.  However as some will say it is wise to pick your battles.  This is something I probably would fight for because it seems the stepdad is probably going to force dad out.


I just wanna add that your problem is no totally uncommon.

Many steps feel the need to step in and "protect" their spouse from all the verbal and written abuse -- which is simple communication.

You're definitely not the only one experiencing this -- and won't be the last unfortunately.