Need help to protect my daughter

[elliotthensonjr]

It is almost 3 am and I am need to ask a question that no father should ever have to ask. I need help with fighting for sole custody of my 3yr old daughter. Her mother and grandmother are coaching her to say thing aagainst daddy. I have been through this all already and defeated them once. Barely had enough money thanks to family and friend to fight the fight that needed to be fought. My lawyer wanted to go for soel custody at that time but I had no where near the funds to try and go to court. I still don't but I am hopeing that someone out there might know of a foundation or organization that can help with this matter. Please any information would be greatly appriciated. Thanks Elliott

[seansmom]

It is VERY difficuly for a father to receive sole custody of a child so young. Even though "they" say they are not, courts are bias agaist fathers. Your daughters mother would have to be pretty darn bad (ie: meth addict, prostitute, ect.) for a judge to take her from her mother.

I was and still am in a similar situation (except I am the mom). I decided long ago just to enjoy every minute of my time with my son, always tell him the truth, and NEVER bad mouth his dad. My child will grow up someday and see I was the "better" person.

In a child so young it's really hard to prove mental abuse.

Good Luck to you!

[evalisto2005]

That's a small part of my situation. You can find out where legal aid is in your county. They will not give you a lawyer but they do give free legal advice and they help with what exactly to say on the petitions and everything.

I do have to agree with the person that posted before me. It is VERY hard for a father to take custody, some times even if the mother is a drug user or something.

Best of luck to you with everything.

[notnew]

Elliott,

There is no organization that can help with this matter. There is no free legal help to help with this matter.

Your best tool and strategy is to educate yourself. Research the laws in your state, research the information on this site and prepare yourself for battle. You made a huge mistake in not taking your lawyers advice and goign for sole custody when he advised it. For a father to be in a position to gain sole custody is a great thing. You may have passed up a chance that will never come again.

What kind of custody do you have now?

A 3 year old child can be manipulated to a degree. However, most professionals are adequately trained to get to the root of problems and 3 year olds don't have complex enough thought processes to construct the framework for a "plan" against you like they would at an older age.

You give no information in your post and that is not good.

How is visitation going?

Is everyone following the court order?

Are you married or in a stable relationship?

What kinds of actions are you referring to that the mother and grandmother are taking?

Exactly what are you afraid is going to happen?

Are you intimidated by the costs of a lawyer? You could go pro-se (represent your self) if you feel confident you can figure it out.

Give us some more information and we can all see how sharing our experiences may help you reach a decision.

[notnew]

I have never had any luck with legal aid in any form. In my county, there is a Pro-se office in the circuit court house that provides this type of assistance.

I also did a lot of research on-line, and michie.com has some states statutes in a searchable database.

Reviewing the filings of my ex's attorney helped me to figure out formatting issues, etc.

This is a long and hard road for anyone to travel, but worth it no matter how hard and long the fight is.

[seansmom]

Just because the father asks for sole custody does not mean he will get it. My ex asked for sole custody three days after he was "served". And no he did not get sole custody, we have joint cusody with me being the primary cartaker. I will say it again it is very hard for a father the receive sole custody.

Children, even young children feel the tention brought on my a nasty divorce. Lord knows my son went through hell because my ex fought dirty, very dirty, and where did it get him? noware, except spending thousands of dollars on attorneys fee's.

Children will ajust to the divorce alot better if parents try to get along, work together as far as the children are concerned, and not bad mouth the other parent. Always try and put the children first.

[notnew]

I never said he should seek sole custody just to "get" the other parent. I simply stated that if his lawyer advised him to seek sole custody, there may have been a real reason to do so and in not doing so, he may have lost his chance forever.

Just because a parent has sole custody does not mean they have to act like a jerk about letting the other parent be involved. Joint custody is the preferred  ruling in my opinion, but we all know that it doesn't always work that way and it is NOT always what is best for the child.

Obviously, the other side isn't playing fair, but we have yet to be informed of exactly what is going on. I was trying to make a few blanket statements to give him some input on his post and trying to see if we could get some more information to better be able to share our experiences.

A father can ask for contact with his children that he has a right to as any other parent would and be denied be it legally or illegally and most of the time has absolutely no recourse to correct the matter because our family courts lack a spine bone.

The conditions our family court systems create and enable are deplorable and I know there are horror and success stories from every side of the spectrum. That is why I try not to judge people on their situation, but offer my experiences/knowledge in hope they will be able to reach a resolution that is good for them (all involved - becuase a healthy family is what is best for the kids).

[seansmom]

I agree with you. But in alot of cases the other parent goes for sole custody because they want to "get back" at the other parent, or he/she does not want to pay child support, as it was in my case. My ex's attorney advised him to go for sole cusody as well even though there was absolutly no reason for him to do so.

I am aware however that all cases and situations are different.