Did I lose already?/How can a judge do this?/What can I expect

[evalisto2005]

I haven't been here forver it seems like. Okay, when my son's mother filed another false police report against me again a while back I learned the the officer that gave me hell on the phone for 49 minutes and that I politely stood up to said on the oplice report and later in court also he said that my son's mother showed him a legit restraining order out of my county, but she didn't have one. He also said that when I had welfare checks done that nothing ever happened and that I was just harrassing my son's mother, but the police did get involved several times and my son's mothetr and her mother were both arrested because of the welfare checks. When he said this in court it was for my trial for harrassment by telephone against my son's mother's mother which I'm not guilty of. The judge said with other words that he did not belive their stories but I had to be angry with them at the time so because of that and the officer's words I was found guily and given court supervision. My lawyer for the custody case didn't think that that would really matter in the custody case.

The custody case, health problems that resulted from it, me just finding my birth mother, and lots of crazy things got me to call the officer's supervisor and complain. I did not say anything threatening or bad but I was still arrested for it. My criminal lawyer said that since it's against a cop my only hope would be an insanity defense and that I could kiss my custody case goodbye becaue of that. I had a full blown psyche eval done that was maybe a total of 14 hours and the psychiatrist said that I was under too much stress and that was what caused me to call the plice to compolain like I did. He said that he could not see me doin anything like that again and that I do not have a mental illness but that bascially my brain was overloaded because of the severe stress. Does that help me at all or is it all still all lost for me? I have known former couples that were fighting for custody and both had mental issues, and custody was granted to the parent that was most fit. My son's mother couldn't pass a psyche eval if her life depended on it.

My son's mother's lawyer filed to withdraw from the case becuase he was never paid and also because he found out that he had lied for her under oath. This was a long while back but the judge said that she had to show up herself in court for him to be off of the case and she didn't until a couple weeks ago. The judge would not allow a GAL to do anything and would not listen to anything until my son's mothetr showed up and he won't hear anything until she either gets another lawyer or represents herself. It baffles me how a judge could not even care about the well being  of a child. My lawyer wanted to have a GAL check things out and wanted to have a P.I. check things out for the longest time and to go for emergency custody but this has all been out off by the judge, he won't hear anything yet. My son's mother openly talks about her drug use, being a swinger, and much more on her web site where parties for swingers are advertised for. My son is at a lot of these parties and my son's mother's room mates were arrested for giving booze to 14 year olds at the parties. The partties are for the public since they are advertised the way they are so a P.I. can get in. The police already know what's going on  but haven't been granted access to the residence after receiving more compliants so their hands are tied.

My son's mother's mother was sentenced for her selling 12 grams of cocoaine or crack to an undercover agent and will be doing at least 4 of an 8 year sentence (again) but my son's mother still allows my son to stay with her mother. My son's mother would not take my son to a doctor after his face turned blue because of breathing problems and it's on my son's medical records that she stated that to his doctor. He was prescribed asthma and allegy medication which she refuses to give him so he's always sick. There is much more but too much to mention.

Is there no way for me to win this case like my criminal lawyer said or is it still possible? I know that anything can happen but I won' expect anything.
As far as the judge, my lawyer went to different judges but my lawyer got sent back to the same one. Doesn't it say something about a parent if they won't even show up for court for months for their child while they just ruin their credit even more?

If she gets another attorney do you think that he or she would check out the real reason why her lawyer dropped her and would not want the case or would at least ant a hell of a retainer fee?

Sorry for rambling, I'm just scared to death for my son.

[maid marion]

That's a lot of info to take in and a bit confusing but if I get the gist of it then what your saying is that your son is not in a good enviroment at all and if what you've written is true then he definately needs to be pulled out of there.
I can only suggest that you HAVE GOT TO SOMEHOW document all these things because hearsay is not going to do it. Get any and all police reports on her and her mother and her roomates. Copy the web site if that's possible. If your state allows it then record all converasions with her. You didn't say wether or not you have visitation with your son but if you do than document them and if she's denying you your vistation then document that also. Get a court transcript of her purdging herself on the stand. It might help. Definately get copies of your son's medical and school records. Your entitled to these under federal law but I can't recall the law. Maybe someone else on this site will know.
As far as the judge not hearing anything, it's probably because he's not willing to rule on something and then later have it thrown out or reversed due to her not having proper representation. If I were you I would start getting some free consultations with other attorneys and see what they say.
You had better have clean hands yourself because when you do eventually get before a judge with all of this then you can bet that she'll dig up any and all dirt on you that she can find.
As far as the criminal thing with the police, that's going to end up being a 50/50 shot but don't let it stop your from atleast trying.
 What is going to matter to a justice more than anything else is the welfare of this boy so your objective should be to show that he's better of under your care and supervision that under hers. That's what it's all going to boil down to in the end.
Good luck and God Bless,
Maid Marion

[stepmomfor2]

Only hope, and kiss custody goodbye - no way!  BM has too much against her !  Come on, recent arrests, now that's huge!  Neglect? Alcohol to underaged at BM's party?  Grandmother unfit role model?   PULEEEZE!  The court is not going to disrupt the children unless they are in danger!

Ande, of course you were emotional about being falsely accused, yes you are stressed, yes you are on overloads, hello?  You don't want to lose time with your son.  Your son is your main concern and you are worried for him.  (It might soften some things if you could send a note to the policeman you talked to explaining that).

I agree with other poster that documentation is key.  Record facts in notebook.   Try not to include feelings. (The notebooks helped us so much, but the GAL was able to see through BM and she was caught telling lies.  Skids have been with us full-time 4 years, and I don't expect BM to do one thing about it despite her threats.  

Good luck, but count on not being the one who loses!  Stand tall!

[msme]

If your son isn't in therapy, get him in ASAP. He can tell the therapist about the goings on at his mother's home & you can subpoena him to testify.

Also, hire a Board Certified Family Law & Custody Specialist to represent you in Family Court. A criminal law attorney may not have the expertise to properly defend you. Just as you wouldn't go to a psychiatrist for a sprained back, it works the same way with lawyers. You need the best person for the job.

Ask any lawyer these questions. What percentage of their firms practice are fathers seeking custody? What is their success rate in defending these types of case?

If the answers are not to your liking, keep looking. Good luck & God bless.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!