BM moved & didn't tell us

[jgaff78]

For a little background info: DH & I were given temporary custody of SD(10) in April 2011 because BM couldn't handle her & voluntarily agreed to a change of custody for a year. According to the court, we still retain custody until the next custody hearing in a couple weeks. That is scheduled 2 days after school starts here & 9 days after school begins in BM's state. BM claims that she has custody of SD since temp custody expired & claims that SD wants to live there so she is registering her for school there. When I was speaking to SD on the phone last Friday, she mentioned that they were staying with a family they previously lived with & not living at the apartment anymore where BM told us they were living.

Ok, so my question is how do we handle this? I used to have the address where they are staying now, but I can't find it. BM never told us she was moving & didn't give us the address where they are now, so technically we have no idea where SD is. We previously sent a certified letter restricted delivery regarding the custody hearing to the last address she had given us & of course it has not been picked up. So do we wait until the court date & tell the judge she has moved or do we go now & file contempt or something since she moved without notification? Our court date was already delayed once earlier this summer because BM claimed she had back surgery & couldn't travel & there was a typo in the court papers. The judge told us to resend the paperwork & make sure it was sent certified so they could be certain she received it. Will it cause a problem if she has moved & claims she didn't receive the court notice? Can we ask for an emergency custody order since BM technically kidnapped SD?

[ocean]

When is child supposed to be returned to your house? When that date passes, file police report that child has not returned, then an emergency hearing to return child to you.
Call the new school, mom would have to request records from old school. Call old school, see if there were discharged papers signed and records requested.
If you do not know the school, call a few around until you find the one.

Do you do email with her? Email her the papers and request an address. She will not talk to you on phone for address?

[jgaff78]

Ok, the main issue is that the temporary custody decision did not include any instructions on what would happen once the temporary period ended. When BM had custody, we got SD for summer break & returned her the weekend before school started. We intend to keep the same parenting time schedule once full custody is granted to us. So, technically she should be returned to us the weekend before school starts, which would be next weekend. But we don't have a court order specifically stating that. School starts here 2 days before the date of our custody hearing so we assume the judge will order her returned then. If we asked for an emergency hearing, I don't think we'd get a court date before the actual custody hearing.

BM has been a bit elusive lately & isn't really answering us when we send her texts. I don't think she knows SD told me where they were living & I am afraid if we come out & ask about the new address, BM will punish her for it. The main reason we are seeking custody is because BM moves constantly and she doesn't have the patience or authority to discipline SD appropriately. SD has no respect for her since BM has treated her so badly & disciplines so inconsistently. It's such a touchy situation and we're pretty much walking on eggshells until we can get SD back with us.

[jgaff78]

As far as the school issue, SD went to school here last year & for a part of the year the year before. She is already registered for school here, I just went & talked to her school today. BM can't even try to register her until Monday. I really don't know what will happen when she tries to register her down there. I wouldn't think she would be able to register her without a court document stating she has custody returned to her, but sometimes schools overlook things like that.

[ocean]

First issue is if the judge will accept if she has been served the court date as it was not signed for.

Emergency hearings can be heard the same day as you fill out the paperwork.

School- Mom will be able to sign her up with proof she lives in that district and birth certificate. She will have to write down what school she came from and they will request her records from your school. Ask your school to call you if there is any request of her records. Here you can sign a child up anytime, any day. So mom could of signed her up somewhere already.

How about texting her "We have court on xx date at xx time regarding custody/school xx will go to next year. If you want a copy of the paperwork, please send me a current address as the last set of paperwork was never picked up."  See if you get a response.

You can try an emergency hearing to return child on the court date as mother has stated she is enrolling child in her town and not returning child. Mother has refused to give current address and father currently does not know where the child is staying and/if the child will return as he has temporary custody until the xx court date".

At the very least you can ask the judge if and how to serve her.

[jgaff78]

We did send a notice of the court hearing via certified mail to BM's mother's house (where BM always tells us to send stuff to make sure it gets to her) and we have proof it was received there. We obviously couldn't send it restricted delivery since she wouldn't be at her mother's address to sign for it. I believe we also have a text message from her regarding the hearing so perhaps the judge will accept that as proof that she received notice of the hearing.

It kind of sounds like we're better off just waiting until the court date to present everything & hope the judge agrees that she is better off up here. SD has moved at least once every school year except for during the time she spent with us. She's only a year away from junior high & hasn't been able to make any close friends because she keeps moving to another school. And I can only imagine that the frequent school changes will have more of an impact on her grades as she's getting into junior high and high school. Something's gotta give.

[jgaff78]

We have our custody hearing coming up & I'm trying to gather all documentation that will help us prove SD is better off with us & show how BM does things behind our back or simply doesn't take care of SD's needs. I want to get her dental records to show that there was serious neglect since she had never been to a dentist until we took her when she was 8 (and she had some major issues) and I would like to get copies of her medical records to show that she has placed her on prescription meds without ever notifying us or sending the medication during visitation. So do I just ask for a copy of the medical records or should I ask for summaries from the dotors or what?

We are working on getting a copy of her school record to show how many different schools she has been in & last year's teacher is writing us a letter about SD's emotional state & social adjustment while we had custody this past year. Is there any other documentation we should be thinking to gather? We have pictures we can bring to show the activities we do with SD (vacations, clubs, fairs, etc) since BM very rarely ever does anything with her. What else might make a difference in court?