Severing fathers rights in NJ

[Sharlene]

This is my sons weekend to go to his dad's. I got a call last night from Dale that he wanted to come home, my ex gets on the phone and says come get him. Fine. So we get there and I have Chris go up because I dont want any confrontation with my ex. Chris said the things he was saying to Dale were horrible. He told Dale "your f*cked up, you need therapy, if you leave I don't want to see you for a year and I'm selling all your toys." So my son, my husband and my ex come down to the car and DH is carrying a bunch of Dales toys and Dale is crying his eyes out. My ex tells me in front of Dale that if he leaves I dont want him to come back ever. He will get a lawyer and sign him away and I can have full custody. My ex tells Dale he better make a decision right now cause if he leaves he isnt ever coming back.So Chris takes Dale to a place where they can talk and DH tells him, this is not your fault. Daddy had a bad week and is not being very responsible right now. Chris urged him to give it a try. Dale agreed. I told my ex this is not how you talk to an 8yo, and he tells me how he has to learn. I told him hes 8 not 18. DH took my ex and told him to get a grip. Dale is just a little boy. and we left.

Should I have just taken Dale ? Thats what I wanted to do. I feel as if I should have removed him from the situation. Dale does go to therapy but he doesnt know that we just refer to it as the talking dr. So I was going to call her tomorrow and get him in there and also to find out what she recommends. Then I am thinking of seeing an attorney and going for sole custody with no visitation. But I am afraid of what would happen to Dale if I remove him from visiting his father. My ex's dad was the same way and now he is and I am afraid Dale will be if I dont break the cycle.

[ocean]

You are trying really hard to get his father to be a father but you can not force someone to be a father. I think you should get that appoitment this week and see what the therapist recommends. You could go for supervised visits where the child gets to see dad for a few hours with someone there to make sure the conversation stays appropriate. You could maybe force him to go to therapy or come to thearay sessions with child. If he really wants to sign away rights, usually the courts will allow that if a step-parent is willing to adopt.
Good luck!