Mother moved an hour away

[sillystring]

Ex has 50/50 custody, neither parent designated as primary but Dad has final say in education so DSD goes to school in our district. Ex got married and moved an hour away. 50/50 had continued because the move is supposed to be temporary, but it's been months and there's been no move. Dad does not feel the distance is good for dsd. If we go to court, do you think the judge will agree that is too far for dsd to travel on schooldays?

[ocean]

One hour each way? How old is child?

[sillystring]

She is in first grade.

Ex has to leave the house by 6 am to have her to school by 7:50 (traffic). I don't know how long it takes them to get home.

[ocean]

I think it really depends on the child. Is it affecting child? Too sleepy in class? Does her homework?

Almost 2 hours to school is a bit much. Maybe offer different plans. Pick up Fri after school , return to school on Monday on her weekends. Any school long weekend she can keep child until the next school day. In exchange, she can have extra weeks in the summer. If she moves back within 30 min of school district then it goes back to 50/50.

If she does not agree, you will have to take a chance that the courts will name dad primary. Depending if court gets dragged out to the summer, court may rule to start new school year at mom's district. See if mom is up to working on a different schedule (and not changing child support as that will be a key point probably). If you have to go to court, wait until the beginning of school year so you have a full school year to work it out. Most states still give mom custody over dad...depends on your area. Talk to a local lawyer about what the family court judges have ruled on recently.

[MixedBag]

I would agree with you Ocean....BUT in this case, the original order (according to the poster) says Dad's school district because Dad has final say in Education.


And that might give him the leverage (or advantage) he needs in court.

[ocean]

MB- I would hope so...but this is family court.

[MixedBag]

never mind...

[sillystring]

He has tried talking to her but she will not accept anything less than 50/50.

I'm fairly confident DH would win primary if it came down to it because he does all of the primary parent responsibilities - makes and attends all dr/dentist appts, throws a bday party for her every year, volunteers at the school, attends all open houses/pt conferences, etc. Ex rarely goes to the school, has no interest in her school friends, doesnt go to open houses and has been late for every pt conference. However, our judge just retired so we could be surprised.

Now she's just being difficult. We get dsd back tomorrow. She works in our town. But instead of just bringing dsd to us in the morning, she's leaving her with her husband and making my husband drive the 45 miles to her house to pick up dsd at 2:30. This is the kind of crap we have to deal with.

[sillystring]

Oh, and he doesn't pay child support so we can't use that as a negotiating factor.

And the school considers him primary - BM isn't even allowed to sign any paperwork since she lives out of district. We live in the same town dsd was born in and has always lived in.

[ocean]

Yes, but mom may be worried if she goes to less than 50/50 she will have to pay child support. He can make a close to 50/50 on paper with extra school holidays and most of summer an that you won't ask her for child support. New judge may be good but may drag out as they don't know history.