Can I get joint custody of my kids

[Whyme1966]

IN August this year I found that out that my wife who was 8 months pregnant at the this time was see an other man which she has know for 18 years. She was going to his flat during the day and told me all she had done is kissed him nothing else and told him she had fall out of love with me. When I asked her when all this started and she said in the summer I am thinking end of June-July.

She told me that she wanted to work on the marriage and she had the baby end of September and I had two weeks off work and we was get on ok and was close and then I went back to work and after a couple of days I found out again she had been ringing him and texting. It all kicked off again and she changed her number and gates at the school because she would see him their.

She said she wanted to find her love back for me and said it would take time, she put a pin code in her phone which stopped me from looking at it, so one night I got her phone and she went mad and started punching me leaving me with a black eye the police was called but I did not get her done because of her career with children.

Since then she has told me she is leaving me and tacking our 3 kids with her but because she has not worked for 4 years has got no money. She told me she was not leaving me for any one else she just wanted to be on her own. Which I did not believe because we have been together for 13 years and married for 7 years our own house and 3 kids and she wanted to give all this up just to be on her own. I did not believe her I know she was going out one night so I got her followed and their it was she parked the car in the park close to his car and then he meet her and they walk off hand in hand to a flat next to the car park.

When I told her what I know and what I had done she said we are just friends and me and her are mot together so she can do what she wont's. when she came home that night her told me she loves me and miss him when she is not with him. What do I do next and would I be able to get joint custody of the kids I use to work 47-60 hrs a week so my wife and kids could what they wanted but my working hours can be flexible so I could have the kids. n August this year I found that out that my wife who was 8 months pregnant at the this time was see an other man which she has know for 18 years.

She was going to his flat during the day and told me all she had done is kissed him nothing else and told him she had fall out of love with me. When I asked her when all this started and she said in the summer I am thinking end of June-July. She told me that she wanted to work on the marriage and she had the baby end of September and I had two weeks off work and we was get on ok and was close and then I went back to work and after a couple of days I found out again she had been ringing him and texting. It all kicked off again and she changed her number and gates at the school because she would see him their.

She said she wanted to find her love back for me and said it would take time, she put a pin code in her phone which stopped me from looking at it, so one night I got her phone and she went mad and started punching me leaving me with a black eye the police was called but I did not get her done because of her career with children. Since then she has told me she is leaving me and tacking our 3 kids with her but because she has not worked for 4 years has got no money.

She told me she was not leaving me for any one else she just wanted to be on her own. Which I did not believe because we have been together for 13 years and married for 7 years our own house and 3 kids and she wanted to give all this up just to be on her own. I did not believe her I know she was going out one night so I got her followed and their it was she parked the car in the park close to his car and then he meet her and they walk off hand in hand to a flat next to the car park.

When I told her what I know and what I had done she said we are just friends and me and her are mot together so she can do what she wont's. when she came home that night her told me she loves me and miss him when she is not with him. What do I do next and would I be able to get joint custody of the kids I use to work 47-60 hrs a week so my wife and kids could what they wanted but my working hours can be flexible so I could have the kids.

[tigger]

Someone with more experience can chime in here but a couple of thoughts.

1) You would need to establish your flexible hours NOW, not just say, "I can get flexible hours if I get the kids." You need to have a status quo and right now that's you working 60 hours a week which leaves little time to be a husband and father.

2) What country are you in?  You reference a "flat" and "car park" so I'm guessing it's not America . . . or at least that America isn't your country of origin.

3) Are you certain the 3rd child is yours?  I know you said that she said that she started seeing him when she was already pregnant but a person can't be a cheater without also being a liar so . . .

[Kitty C.]

Guess I would need more clarification....in one sentence you say that she has a career with children and in the next you say she hasn't worked in 4 years.  Which is it?