Desperately needing advice...

[baltimore_father]

Hello all, 
As you can tell by my subject heading, I am in need of advice. I'm currently in a marriage that will soon end in divorce. My wife is a Canadian, we currently live in Baltimore USA and have a 2 year old together. My wife drops not so subtle hints about filing and "taking my son away from me." I have seen the marriage slowly fail and am realistic to this inevitable outcome. My wife has a good and secure job in Baltimore, but very little else. Her credit was bad in Canada before she left to move stateside and she applied, received and propmtly ruined her credit here in the states. She has zero money saved and I fear she has no other chioce but to move to her mother's home in Canada. I believe that she wants our son to have an active relationship with her father, but obviously that will be difficult is she moves back home. I have entertained the thought of fighting for custody, but the only bullets I have are her bad credit (US and Canada) and her erratic behavior for which she's seeing a psycharist and taking medication (my wife is diagnosed with ADD). I have found out that she has joined an online dating network and Im starting to wonder if I should start "building my case" to try and win physical/legal custody. I feel like I have no chance, no matter what I do and/or prove. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Davy]

Consider immediately filing an "Ex-parte Emergency order for Temporary custody" with reason that you fear mother will abscound the country with child.  Ask the child not be removed from this country, and your state. Ex-parte means "without notice".  You are likely to suceed on this motion and you can easily reverse it in the future if you receive substantial comfort the child will remain close to your location.

[Kitty C.]

Does the child have a passport?  If not, do NOT sign for one.  A child's passport application requires signatures from both parents.  If she hints at getting the child a passport, contact the state dept. to make sure his name is flagged, just in case she tries to forge your name anyway.

What you have going for you is that she is giving you a great heads-up and that your child is a US citizen.  Use it to your advantage and I also agree with Davy's suggestion, as well.  She's thretening to take him out of the country....you have to make sure she doesn't get the chance.

[baltimore_father]

Thanks to all for their advice. I will file an Ex Parte. Another question I have is regarding joint or shared custody. I feel embarrasssed I don't know this but can I be subjected to pay child support and/or alimony if my wife agrees to or a court mandates joint or shared custody?

[ocean]

Alimony will be handled with a divorce action later on. If you follow what the others say, you will have custody of your child. Then they will have a hearing to see how visitation will go. Right now, you ex will have to convince a judge that she will not leave the country. You have a great advantage right now as child is American born and mom is threatening to move our of country.
Joint legal custody means you both can make decisions for child -school, medical
Joint physical custody means you share visitation with each parent getting half of the time. There are many ways that can be done, but ex would have to live near you so child can go to school every day.
I strongly suggest you follow up on getting child's name on the do not give passport list or if she has one, take it and give it to a friend to hold on to and in court papers ask that her passport revoked until custody/divorce is over.

By getting custody now, you will be in family court. You can not get a divorce in family court. So first you will be dealing with custody, child support from mom if you have custody, and visitation. Then you/she can file in divorce court for a divorce to deal with other issues- house, money and you can ask that what was decided in family court get merged into your divorce decree.

File quick and do not tell ex until you get paperwork with you having custody. She can do the same thing so it is whoever gets there first. In most states it is free to file or a small charge.