So let it begin.

[JML6501]

Would really love some impute, tips, ideas, ect.

I am 4 years in to a 50/50 parenting plan.  When this was set there was no provision for a primary parent, nor was there any provision for when our child would start school.  My ex lives 50 miles away and we meet in the middle every 3rd evening for exchanges.  We are at the point where we need to decide where our daughter will attend school which will also require a modification of parenting time.  Ex is a teacher at a k-5 school about 20 miles from where she lives.  She is already assuming that she has a victory in the bag that our daughter will attend the school that she teaches at. 

I on the other hand am pulling for our daughter to attend the school that is just a few blocks from my house of 14 years of which I have had 3 other children attend from k-5 last one is in 5 at the moment.

This will without a doubt be battled out in court as I KNOW that neither of us will cave. My attorney is filing the motion this week.  I feel that I have a very compelling argument that is strictly based on our childs best interests.  I am not exactly sure what her arguments may be but I am trying to anticipate as best I can.

Anyone that has knowledge of this or seen key points that swayed the judges please let me know.

[MixedBag]

Can you compare and contrast the two schools and come out ahead?

Who has been filing or claiming the child on taxes?

I take it mom moved away?

[JML6501]

Thank you kindly for the reply,  Mom actually moved away right after our child was born and due to an order from the court was forced to return with child.  From that moment on is when she started living about 50 miles away.  When our permanent orders were drafted she was living in that area even though she has moved at least 6 times in since our child was born.

As far as taxes, it has been done based on statute in Colorado and I have had 2 years then she gets one and so on.

As far as schools, that may be my ace in the whole if everything else ends up even.  I used a few sites that rate and compare schools.  I did a comparison on all the options to include middle school and high school, as I have found with other children that once they become integrated with friends ect, they need to stay in the path of that district.  This comparison is night and day different.  The schools here by chance are light years better in almost all categories.  Clearly its in her best interests as a parent to have our child attend but so far not our childs.

[MixedBag]

Ok, I'm NO JUDGE or Attorney.....just a mom or rather PARENT.


IMHO....if she moved and was ordered back, that goes in your favor.


If you get two years, then she one, then you two, then she one, that goes in your favor.


If your school district looks better on paper than hers, that goes in your favor.


BUT the moving comment -- retired military here, so my kids moved.....around.....and NOPE, it didn't hurt them.  As a matter of fact, my grandbabies just moved from here to about an hour away and that move was GREAT for them as they are now both doing much better in the school.  So academic performance is dependent on the quality of the school and the involvement of the parents.....more so than the moving around.   Otherwise, "military" families's children would be what......out there?  and that ain't so.  IMHO of course.


Most recently my son, moved here for his freshman year and sophmore year -- got about a 3.3 GPA.  Went back, and got a 2.2 GPA the last two years and BARELY graduated high school because he almost failed math.  His other years K-8 were spent in that school district.....So had he stayed......ah, but he didn't.

[JML6501]

I totally agree and believe me I understand that as parents we can make the best of any situation and that children are so resilient that in those situation they can even excel at times. 


I was simply making the apples to apples comparison between her situation and mine.  I think where this is key is that she is proposing a school that she works at that is not near her home.  I think in this situation and a history with moving it will be VERY hard for our child to form friendships outside of school because A. here classmates live on the other side of town. B.  What friends she would make near here home would be subject to change if she moves.  Which is likely since she is renting an appartment.

In my situation My children have attend the school within in walking distance to our home that I have owned for going on 15 years.  I was able to see my boys have friends in the area and as they have got older they maintain those relationships inside and out of school.  I think that if our daughter were to attend school where her mother works.  It would only serve her mother.

[ocean]

Does mother work at a public school 20 miles from her house? If so, your child should not be allowed to go there as that is not her home school. Call the district office for that school and ask if teachers are allowed to bring their own kids that do not live in the boundaries of that school. In my state the choices would be mom's home school, your home school, or private school.

[MixedBag]

I've heard that IF the parent teaches at "that school" then they have to ask special permission and then the child will be allowed to attend there even if they don't live in the district......case by case basis.   So I believe it would be possible for Mom.

He said his EX is a teacher....

[JML6501]

VERY good points.  My guess is that they would allow her but I agree it may be case by case.  I will dig a little deeper to determine if there is a policy regarding that.  I actually just came back from checking out that school  Seemed fine enough however it is litterally in the middle of nowhere. 

Please keep em coming , you guys know how this works when you have two good parents it all comes down to compensating factors to sway the judge.

[ocean]

I would find out what the policy is (call , don't give name) and that child would go to school at mom's but the friends and activities would not be near either house.
I would also sign him up near your house for activities on your time. Some places you can talk to them and explain they may miss half of the time since it is a custody situation. Swim lessons, sports team.
Is this school inbetween the two of you at least?

Get a back up plan if you lose.... You can still have long weekends, pick up fri from school bring back to school monday. Any school holidays with Monday off, you keep child to Tues school.
Have it all written out, ready to go with dates/times/pick up locations. What happens if it is not a school day.

Same plan that you would offer her too...

Also, make sure it is court ordered you can pick up from school, clear wording. We have a new system at our school, custody papers are in computer and parent can only pick up on their days at the times specified in order.

[tigger]

In my state (NC) in at least two counties, the child can attend the school in which the parent teaches.  And they are grandfathered in even if the school hits a CAP.