Leaving the Country

[mono]

My grandmother is very ill and the children and me, would like to visit her for 6 weeks. We have done so in the past 3 years for 9 weeks and longer. But now I am divorcing. We have joint legal custody and I have physical custody. He does not give me his consent to leave.

I do not have a lawyer anymore. How can I legally leave ?

[Waylon]

1) What does the parenting plan say about vacations?

2) Who has been designated as the "primary parent" or decision maker?

My grandmother is very ill and the children and me, would like to visit her for 6 weeks. We have done so in the past 3 years for 9 weeks and longer. But now I am divorcing. We have joint legal custody and I have physical custody. He does not give me his consent to leave.

I do not have a lawyer anymore. How can I legally leave ?

[ocean]

One option is to allow the father to keep kids while you go visit your mother. Another can be to request that family court make a ruling to allow the kids out of the country. Maybe go for a few weeks, give dad extra time now before you leave and extra time when you get back. The father/courts if allowed, should be asking for round trip tickets to be purchased. The courts need to know that you WILL return with children. Send dad a registered letter requesting vacation time from xx date to xx date and that you offer him xx time in return or for him to give you extra times that work for him. Ask for him to get back to you by a certain date. If he says no or no response, send it again and say you will ask the courts to intervene.

[mono]

The parenting plan does not say anything about that. Only that he gets them 2 weeks during the summer. I assume I am the decision maker, they are primary with me. I have physical custody but we have joint legal custody.

We live in Virginia, how do I file this with the circuit court ? I absolutly can not affort a lawyer anymore.

I am concerned to even book the tickets. I am worried now that he knows the dates he can stop me from leaving.
Of course I book a return flight, I do not plan on running. My entire life, house, pets etc is here.

I offered him extra time before and after, but he does not agree. Under no circumstances could I leave the kids and they want to go and see their family as well.

[ocean]

You would go to the family court in the county your were divorced or family court that gave you last orders. You request a modification of parenting plan (visitation) "mother requests the courts to grant vacation travel from xx date to xx date to xx country to visit family as the kids grandmother has been sick. Children have been to xx country in the years XX. Mother has communicated this to father and offered extra time before and after vacation. Mother will buy round trip tickets and has family, job, pets, and kids school here in xx state."

Call family court, ask where there intake office is and how it works there. Here there is no fee and if you go and sit there, they will type it up for you. Here paperwork is also online and you can do it yourself and hand it in. Some states have a small filing fee. You will then get a court date a few weeks after filing. Here it takes 3-4 weeks to get a date. You may have to have him served the paperwork (some states have sheriff do it). If you have to serve, you can hire a company to do it ($75 around) or have someone over 18 give ex paperwork and sign they gave him papers.

If you need to go now, call a lawyer and see if you can file an emergency hearing due to mother is sick and you want to take kids now to see her. Are you waiting until school gets out? Courts may tell you to go but leave kids with father to finish school.

[mono]

Thank you that helps a lot. I will go to the courthouse and get it done. We plan on leaving beginning of July till mid August.
So he can have them before and even after.

[EdgeOfReason]

I would note that being the primary parent doesn't make you the decision maker.

If you have joint legal, decisions should be made jointly.  If you don't have joint legal, the one with legal custody is the decision maker.