Advice on therapist situation

[derbygirl]

   I'm looking for some advice for my husband. He is in the middle of a custody battle with his ex for custody of his son (8 yrs old). I'm not going to get into the gory details anymore than necessary. They currently have joint physical and joint legal with mom being primary residential. My husband began seeking a modification of the current custody order in April of 2012. Mom began taking their son to a therapist within 2 wks of the first letter sent to her attorney although she not only did not discuss it with my husband but she kept it a secret from everyone including my stepson's GAL until the end of Sept when she appeared with a recommendation from the therapist that dad should only have 2 hr supervised visitation based on complete lies that stepson told the therapist. Luckily for dad one of the lies that mom had stepson tell the therapist was that he didn't have a bed or bedroom at dad's house because dad gave let one of his friends move in and gave the friend his bedroom. Apparantly, mom was unaware that this friend of dad's not only did not live at our house but had passed away in a motorcycle accident several months before. Once dad had a chance to talk to the therapist and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was a lie it wasn't long before stepson admitted that his mother had told him to say all those things and that they weren't true. He also told his therapist about some pretty major issues that were occuring in mom's home. Once stepson began telling his therapist the truth about everything mom decided that she needed to find a new therapist again doing so without talking to anyone. Dad found out from the current therapist about mom wanting to switch and contacted the GAL about the issue. GAL sent out a recommendation to both parties that therapy should continue with current therapist and not switch. Mom switched anyway and Dad is continuing with current therapist. My stepson has already told his current therapist that mom has told him what to say to the new therapist and that he got in big trouble for telling current therapist the truth about mom's house. Dad has spoken with the new therapist and told her that he was not ok with the change and that he was continuing therapy with the old therapist. The new therapist also wanted to meet with dad but dad refused. Partly because he's tired of playing mom's games and stepson was making progress with the old therapist. His teacher had noticed a difference in his attitude about the time he told therapist the truth. The other reason is we just can't afford to see 2 therapist. We really can't afford 1 but stepson def needs therapy so we make it happen. My question is 1. Should dad meet with the new therapist? and 2. If mom does the same thing with the new therapist that she originally did with the old will the court take that seriously? He has only seen new therapist 3 times so far and we are only a month away from trial whereas he's been seeing the old therapist for over a year.

[ocean]

Can you give permission to both therapists to talk to each other? Then the old one can get the new one up to date and maybe encourage his visits with child only so they can talk without mom being there.
Then I would call your lawyer and see if they can put in some emergency type orders to stop new therapy and have GAL maybe there or write a letter of support. Something like "father requests that the courts intervene immediately and have child attend therapy with dr xx as this has been the family therapist since xx date. Ms. XX (GAL) agrees that no change in therapists is warranted and send a letter to the mother. The mother has gone behind father and GAL back and started child with a different therapist and still continue with old therapist. Father requests this the courts to rule on this motion as it is in the best interests of child to continue therapy with the Dr xx who child feels comfortable with and that his teachers at school saw a positive change in the last few weeks/months. Father further requests that neither parent can pull child out of therapy with Dr xx unless the courts, therapist, or both parents agree to change."

[derbygirl]

Dad did give his permission to both therapist to collaborate. The current therapist has tried contacting the new one on several occasions and has gotten no response. The new therapist does not seem interested in doing this. She seemed to have the attitude that she is the best and no one else is good enough. She didn't even seem to care that the old therapist and the guardian felt it was in stepson's best interest to remain with current therapist. As for a petition for special relief (we're in PA) our attorney didn't feel it would be necessary with the trial date so close. His exact words were give her the rope to hang herself. He's a good attorney and he isn't just out for money and he thinks it will be an unnecessary expense on our part. I guess my husband and I have been dealing with mom and her games since my stepson was born 8 yrs ago and we're always a little edgy about what the next "game" will be. Their relationship was very short (3 months) and he left her for me just before she found out she was pregnant so that's where a lot of the animosity she has comes from. Just trying to be prepared and do everything we can to help this poor kid who is the pawn in all her crap. 

[Kitty C.]

JMO, but I would bet that the new therapist has probably been told by the BM to NOT talk to the old therapist.  And I like your atty's attitude...sounds like the BM has given herself a LOT of rope and this all could hang her at the next court appearance.  One thing I do strongly recommend:  have the old therapist testify at that hearing!  That could prompt the court to ask for testimony from the GAL, as well.
When is the court date?  If it's within the next month or so, then I agree with your atty.....it's a waste of money and it's more likely you'd be able to present more information at a regularly scheduled hearing then to ask for an emergency hearing where you may not be able to present all the evidence or have testimony heard.

[derbygirl]

Our trial is scheduled for June 6, so yes in the next month or so and we have already spoken to the old therapist and he is happy to testify. It is very possible that mom told new therapist not to speak to the old one and we have no idea what reason she gave the new therapist for wanting to switch. She told the old one simply she didn't like his recommendations. I'm hoping all goes well. Poor kid has been through more than enough. He just deserves the chance to be a normal kid.