Unwed father wants custody

[durandal]

I couldn't agree more.

I work hard every day of the week, and the BM sits at home, plays on the phone, drinks beer and smokes cigarettes all day.

She has a veritable 'army' of social workers, outreach pastors, and THE SYSTEM who keep her firmly in control. She get's free representation.

I on the other hand, have to beg/borrow/whine, pay support with minimal access to my daughter, whine to my boss about the situation, and can't even think about getting any legal help besides waiting to exhale on some d$mn message board - unless of course, i just have a few $K laying around here or there. Justice really means "just us".

Worst of all, all indications are that if the status remains quo, my daughter will be on drugs, pregnant or worse and hating ME for it by the time she's a teenager.

Never have I lived thru something as screwed up as this.

[mango]

Most states, give joint custody, unless there is some proof of abuse etc. The amount can vary, as 50/50 to 80/20 etc.

But, if he can prove he lived with her and the kids, and he is indeed the father, I would think he can prevent a move.

We had similar situation, and had a written clause in our parenting plan that if BM moved father got custody (also unwed father). (Our case the BM moved regularly, and was unstable).

Sounds to me he can also use her "night job" as a good angle for more parenting time, if he is available during those night hours while she is at work, or times she is sleeping, and children are unsupervised. He should expect to have this time to parent during those hours, as it is better to be with a parent then running free etc. etc.

Our case the BM tried over and over to get sole, and move away, she never was able to do either, as the court always ruled BOTH BIOLOGICAL parents have a right to be involved in the childs life. (Unless abusive situation)

Just make a rock-solid parenting plan, state times for parenting time, rights of refusals, and moveaway stipulations.

Case that states BOTH parents have a right to be equally involved in the child(ren) life.
Davis v. Flickinger (1997), 77 Ohio St. 3d 415, 419. Cordon v. Gordon (October 19, 1987), Athens App. No. 1334

[mistoffolees]

Make sure to distinguish between legal custody and physical custody.

In most states, there is a preference for joint legal custody. Only a few provide a preference for shared physical custody. The case you provided seems to provide for shared LEGAL custody rather than shared physical custody.

The difference is important. If they have joint legal custody but the mother has primary physical custody, she's got a lot of freedom to move wherever she wants (unless it's specifically forbidden by the parenting agreement).

If, OTOH, they have shared physical custody, one parent will be barred from doing anything to interfere with that arrangement.