Interstate/Long Distance Joint/Primary Physical Custody

[testypants]

Depends on the judge and area. It is getting better with allowing both parents to have visitation from birth. It really depends on how often you can get/be with child. That is one thing that you should stand your ground. You can parent just like the other parent can. Go to your local library or your local family court. Take a parenting course. Take infant and child CPR course. It will look good for court. Sign up at least and say you are enrolled. You do not need experience to parent. Offer the gradual plan for a few months but get it in writing when it will change and to what. If it is not written down, you do not have it and can not enforce it.

For severe custody cases with major fighting, they will look at which parent would be better at parenting and communicating with other parent, especially if it is already 50/50 and now they need to decide on one parent being primary. Most times in this country it is the mother, and mother gets more chances to retain custody. A child so young, you really will not get primary custody without something major in the other parents home.

Child support, look up California child support calculator. Put in your numbers. Some states take both parents income in the formula, some just the non custodial parent. NY it is 17% of income for one child. You can ask that you get travel credit to get child, since you did not move and never was in child's state. This will help with gas and plane tickets. At the hearing you can ask for it to be postponed until you get a parenting plan set as you want to see how much court ordered travel will be incurred. Or you can agree that you will pay to get child and she will pay to get child back (driving all the way). Or agree to meet at half way point, both incur costs.

Do you have any resources that explain the travel credit situation? I googled a bit to no avail.

And if you are capable and have the time, can you give me a breakdown of the court hearing and how I might proceed?

For example: At this point I will basically walk in there with nothing other than a DNA test, no custody papers, and no contact/visitation at this point. The judge is going to look at my income, see the 0 time spent with father, and set the amount accordingly? At what point and what steps would I take to alter or as you mentioned postpone these items? As of now I can't establish a parenting plan with the mother because she has proven unresponsive. So any plan I have in mind will be entirely one sided -- unless I can quickly file through a court paper to begin the proceedings for custody before the hearing?

[MixedBag]

ok, NONE of us are attorneys....we're all simply parents.

Go to the root page of this place -- where you can find a link to the articles and start reading as appropriate.

There's good information out there and reader/user friendly.

I'm starting to get concerned -- that you don't have an attorney to help you through this.

[testypants]

ok, NONE of us are attorneys....we're all simply parents.

Go to the root page of this place -- where you can find a link to the articles and start reading as appropriate.

There's good information out there and reader/user friendly.

I'm starting to get concerned -- that you don't have an attorney to help you through this.

Are there many low income/free lawyers I can get access to? With lawyer fees, filing fees, back child support coming in, and travel expenses, I'll be in quite a hole -- all without seeing my son to begin with.

[ocean]

Yes, you can file next week but you need to file with her family court. Call them Monday and see if their custody and visitation petitions are online (or look on their website), if not, ask that they mail you a set of papers. Fill it out and send it back to go there and drop it off.

At the hearing, you will be called in, if your papers are in judge will see that. If not, say "I am willing to support my child, I have just filed for a visitation plan and want to see my child as often as possible. As of today, ex is not allowing visits. I am requesting transportation credit as I will be traveling often to see child".

Judge may order temporary judgment until you have your other hearing, may postponed and do it all at once, or tell you to pay xx and to refile when you know how much travel everyone is doing.

The amount should be set as you have standard visitation. Judge understands this is your first time and will go get visitation order next if it is not part of this hearing. Since you are coming from afar, hopefully something will happen as here they postpone a lot and tell you to come back next month.

You can do the paperwork yourself or hire a lawyer near her to do it for you. You pay them to file for you and then come to the hearings. Ask if you can hire them per hearing instead a big amount -retainer in the beginning. Offer to file papers yourself so save money. THis first one, you should try to get a lawyer there with you. Call family court by her and see if you qualify for legal aid.

[testypants]

A little update on the case:

From reading the papers she sent in here, her claim is basically saying I made threats to steal the baby away, she is frightened by me, and states I have no bond (or interest) with the child. She is afraid I will run off with him.

I view this as her ploy to deny me access to my child for as long as possible, so when the court date rolls around she can claim I have established no bond or relationship with him and hope it gives her even more power in the custody matters. Despite the fact she is the one refusing me access, yet claiming it is my idea. I have written conversations which refute her story, however.

I am documenting all conversations, dates, and times.

Any input?

[MixedBag]

Who moved away?  You from your child -- or her taking the child?

IMHO travel -- there isn't going to be a detailed description of how this is handled again IMHO.  SO, you have to gather documentation on the different potential ways this is going to happen.  For example -- go to Mapquest, print off directions from A-B.  That gives you miles and hours.  How much gas is that gonna be?  (ROUGH estimate, food, hotel)....think like you would do your taxes and business expenses. What about flying?  add in the unaccompanied minor fee.  Add in your fee if you have to accompany the child because they are too young to fly on their own.

FIND the clause in the state's code that says CS can be adjusted due to extra-ordinary expenses -- if you moved away -- skip all this stuff.....travel is your responsiblity 80% of the time and not worth arguinging in court.

IMHO -- again -- k?  Travel expenses should be split according to income ratio.  Use minimum hourly wage for the other side's income if they don't work or won't provide their income (it's something).

No Contact -- send something in the mail twice a week asking for time with the child -- send it in a way that you can verify she received it.  (First Class Confirmed Delivery costs less than $2 and is a fairly new service -- set up a paypal account to print off the label at home, stick it in a larger envelope, 2 ounces....probably $1.69)  In the past I recommended priority confirmed -- but this option is cheaper.
When is court for CS?  Will a temporary parenting plan that includes parenting time be addressed?