She gave her to me AGAIN!

[HelpingHands]

Don't show your hand to your opponent!!  ExParte hearing means 'immediate hearing without notification to the other party'

I would just keep my lips sealed from this point forward. She can come grab your daughter before you have your hearing and you will be sunk.

[Davy]

#I also want to encourage tons of contact via other methods between
#the mom and the child so that when you do walk into a courtroom, the #mom and child can't say "we haven't been able to speak to each
#other".

Apparently this child has been abandoned by the mother on at least three occassions and it may be damaging or upsetting to the child to have "tons of contact".  Dad should not prevent contact and should softly encourage contact but not let this issue become overwhelming to the child....especially so it will look good to the court.

#Jurisdiction is FL for permanent changes until the child hits that 6 #months.

This statement flys in the face of one of the prime reasons for the existence of the state and federal statues governing interstate custody issues.  Please read the actual statues.  By the way, what interest would FL have with this child when the child is being care for by a parent that never resided in FL and the only parent that substantiated their jurisdiction no linger resides in FL ... the actual language in the statue reads something like "and another state would be better suited to make determinations concernng the child".

#I would even argue that it can't be NY until the child has been there #for 6 months.

A NY judge or any other state court judge will do whatever they want
especially when there is no opposing party present to pont out their error.

#So it's best to lay low until the child is with you in IL for 6 months.

No !  Move rapidly with a firm stragety to name IL jurisdiction ...may even be a cake-walk under the circumstances.  the child's well-being can not be left in limbo just for the sake of flipping calendar pages.

[wallyworld]

She called me Sunday and told me NOT to visit the lawyer.  She said she is going to sign it and that we better not screw her over.  I wonder if she's stalling.  Although, Im guessing not because im sure she knows if I don't receive it within the week im filing in the courts.  

So hopefully it will be here soon.  

one quick question can she later change her  mind AFTER she signs on the agreed order (transfering custody to me) and then my daughter just have to go back.  If she does iwll there be a hearing and all that?  Would IL have jurisdiction at that time?

[HelpingHands]

Talk to Soc and to your attorney. I would ask your attorney before this gets too far (like tomorrow) and I'd find out if the papers she sends you are worth the paper they are written on.  Has she been trustworthy?

I think Soc answered a question a while back about changing custody and what's agreeable to both parties and what the law procedures are. You might wanna go read some of his posts....

[MixedBag]

I am not an attorney....
but like many, I have an idea.

Have (or ask) your attorney to draw up the paperwork required to be filed and do it "pro per" or as if you were pro se...(representing yourself).

That way, if she signs, the paperwork will be right.

Therefore, there's no appealing it and changing her mind.

And then let your attorney file it.

Give her a reasonable deadline (a week) and enclose a self-addressed stamped envelope for her to return it in.

And then follow through.

Actually, you could fax it to her, and have her overnight a notorized signed copy back.  Tell her you'll reimburse her for her expenses ($10!)

But heck, I'm no attorney....

[wallyworld]

I did actually have my attorney draw up the paper work so hopefully everything is a go.  It says that we agree that IL has juris. now, that custdody be transferred to me, my child support stops (retro 1.1.07), that child support on her part is reserved until she finds employmetn and must submit proper paystubs when she does (yeah right), and that I get to claim our daughter from now on every year.  AS soon as I get the signed copy I am going to scan and post it for eVERYONE to see!

[mistoffolees]

It doesn't matter what she signs - it's not enforceable until the court approves it. You have to first convince the court that they have jurisdiction (via the methods Soc suggested). Then, you can ask the court to approve the new agreement with your ex's approval. However, make sure you follow the correct procedure on this.

Until the court approves it, her signature doesn't guarantee you anything. It can be used to show what her state of mind was at that time, but she's allowed to change her mind - until you have a valid court order.

[HelpingHands]

Good luck :)

[mistoffolees]

CAREFUL!!!!

You're not done when you get a signed copy. You have to submit it to the court and get approval from the court before it's really enforceable.

I had a similar situation. My wife signed an agreement on custody which was witnessed by both attorneys. She later decided that she had changed her mind and wanted to sue for custody. There's nothing to stop her.

If it's not approved by the court, it's not going to protect you.

As for the paystubs, you can actually impute income to her (more accurately, the court can). They figure that anyone who is capable of working can get minimum wage, so you can use that as her income. It won't get you much, but it will get your support order on record. In rare cases you can impute a higher level. For example, my stbx is a RN with lots of experience. RNs are in such demand that they can get a job on a moment's notice almost anywhere, so it would be possible to impute a higher income. That's pretty unusual, though.

Good luck.

[krazyfamily_6]

 
>
>one quick question can she later change her  mind AFTER she
>signs on the agreed order (transfering custody to me) and then
>my daughter just have to go back.  If she does iwll there be a
>hearing and all that?  Would IL have jurisdiction at that
>time?



~ I don't know about the laws in your state but my son's mother and I went into an agreement.......drafted up by my attorney and both of us signed.  We filed it in the court on Aug 1 2006 and it sat on the judge's desk for over 2 months.  BM got upset about something that didn't go exactly her way and called the courthouse and was able to "revoke" her signature from the agreement.  The judge then set the motion for a hearing.  I would be careful.........