Time is slowly running out, I need advice ASAP on obtaining custody of my unborn...

[JD_412]

that is a very good point mistoffolees.  The last time she assaulted me, the police officers that responded to the call recommended getting a restraining order against her due to abuse, and if I get a place with her, that will pretty much cancel out that recommendation if it was documented in the incident.  The police clearly saw who the guilty person one was being that I had a black eye and busted lip and she had not a scratch on her, but since there were no witnesses, I believe they felt it wouldn't hold up in court.

Thank you very much for the heads up.

[JohnV]

Mark Twain once said "It isn't what you know that gets you in trouble, it's what you know that just aint so." Please understand that I have a personal interest in the States claim to have control over the lives and fortunes of marriage partners and children born to them. I do not believe the State should be allowed to control parents and children through license. There is an organization called Matrix Law that is helping parents regain control over their children. I would suggest you might check them out. You can get information without cost or obligation at http//:www,matrxlaw.36bit.com.

[mistoffolees]

However, it's only fair to point out that under current law, the states DO have substantial control. You can choose to tilt at windmills and try to get that changed or you can accept the reality of the situation and work within the system.

I would recommend that anyone with a current issue work within the system. There is absolutely no way that the system will change in a time frame that will help people contesting custody today. Fighting the system puts you in the same boat as the people claiming that the income tax is illegal (many of whom are now in jail).

By all means fight the system on a long-term basis. If you really feel the system is unjust, you have every right to fight it. But suggesting that the state has no rights to someone who needs help TODAY is disingenuous at best and dishonest at worst. The state does have rights - as established by every court in the nation.

[JD_412]

I will be honest, I got slightly angry when I thought about the fact that people in the system are going to be the ones who decide if I get to raise my son instead of someone who is obviously not stable.  I also started to get agitated when I thought of the fact that people have told me that the court system favors the mother's rights as opposed to the father's.   I fear for the safety of my son, and I fear for the sanity of him as well.  I think about the BM's situation growing up, and I worry more.  Her father was supposed to get custody of her, but for some reason, the court gave her mother custody of her.  That is why she is the way she is today.  Her mother and her are spitting images of each other and I strongly believe that if she was raised by her father she would have ended up normal.  Her poor father almost commited suicide himself because of her mother.  My greatest fear is that the court will make the same mistake and grant custody to the BM and my son will either end up physically hurt, or he will end up in the same boat she is.  My main goal is to be the most positive influence in my son's life, where the BM focuses on everything negative.

I have no intention of going against the system because that will probably just get me in a worse situation than I am already in.  However, I do intend on going toe to toe with the system and doing whatever it takes to prove that my son will be raised almost a million times better by me than by the dangerous ways of the BM.

[mistoffolees]

That's all well and good. You have every right to push as hard as you can and I hope it works out for you.

I just get a little angry when people suggest that you should go in front of a judge and tell them they have no right to control anything. That's a sure-fire way to lose everything.

[Jade]

 Her poor father almost commited suicide himself
>because of her mother.

That isn't stable.  Her father is responsible for his own actions.  He can't blame what he attempted to do on someone else.  

[JD_412]

I definitely agree with you Jade. He is responsible for his own actions.  It was a long time ago, and he is fine now.  I was just giving an example because The BM is a spitting image of her mother, and I don't want to end up in the same shoes her father was in when he was married to her mother.  I would never try to commit suicide, but I definitely don't want to be miserable like he was.

[JD_412]

I'm with you on that one mistoffolees.  I've never been to a trial but I do know enough to not try and overthrow the court system.  Ultimately, it will be the judge and jury who decide if I get my son or not.....so there is no reason to piss them off.