Woo hoooooo!!!!!

[mistoffolees]

My stbx had agreed to 50:50 shared physical and legal custody before I moved out of the house. The situation worked well for 5 months but then she decided to sue for joint custody - to punish me for not turning over 100% of my paycheck to her every month. We agreed to a custody evaluator and I had to live the past 2 months under a cloud - worrying about the bible belt and getting someone who felt that kids belong with their mothers or someone who would believe my stbx's lies (she has a history of this).

We finally got the report back today and he recommended that things be left the way they are - which is exactly what I wanted. My stbx is going to go ballistic because the evaluator discussed the results of her psychological profile which indicates that she has some signfiicant personality disorders (my issues are quite minor). Still, he believes that she's capable as a parent.

While she has the ability to request a second opinion, my attorney thinks the judge won't allow it - since she and her attorney requested this evaluator (we agreed on my attorney's advice that he's usually pretty good) and his recommendation is merely to continue the status quo (my daughter is thriving under the current situation).

I'm intellectually satisfied that the system works the way it should, but can't describe the relief in knowing that she can't take my daughter away from me. Yippee!!!

[notnew]

This is how things can go when you start out on the right foot from the beginning. I am happy for you.

You have been financially able to retain a competent attorney and get the foundations in place from the start that result in favorable decisions for the child.

When I hear of cases like yours, it makes me SO think about the things I know now vs. what I knew then. Changing the status quo is very difficult. When you've been successful in getting a good situation et up in the beginning, it makes all the difference in the world.

Yours is the exact reason I tell people to act swiftly and don't back down in the beginning because it won't get better later.

Again, congratulations although I know words cannot describe what you are now feeling!

[mistoffolees]

>Yours is the exact reason I tell people to act swiftly and
>don't back down in the beginning because it won't get better
>later.
>

Yep. I learned the hard way that it doesn't pay to be a nice guy in this. My stbx is looking for any way to stab me in the back no matter what I do.

I'm not suggesting that people should be mean or unfair - just the opposite. Do what's fair, BUT NO MORE. Giving her all the extra stuff she asks for won't get you anything in the end.

[HappyHCMom]

Nice!!!  Congratulations!!  :)

[FLMom]

I WISH I had done things right from the start, like you have. Would have saved us years of hassles.

Major congrats!!!!!!!!!!:D

FLMom

[mistoffolees]

Thanks.

Now we're into the fun part - mediation of all the other issues. It's not enough that she's getting a boat load of money for support (even though we're 50:50 parents), she's asking for about 80% of my paycheck in alimony. It would help if her attorney wasn't a crook.

Oh, well. This part will take a long time and cost me a boatload of money, but at least she's given up trying to take my daughter away (at least for now).

[Savant]

Hurray for your victory!  This sounds almost exactly like my experience.  From the initial agreement to the change of heart about custody to the wording in the CFI's recommendations.  And of course the huge relief at the "end".  I put "end" in quotes because there really isn't an end.  Like the Energizer bunny it keeps going... and going...

[mistoffolees]

Yep. Still going - and it's going to for quite a while. It's just amazing how long this process takes and how many forces work toward creating hostility.