Ex wife trying to move kids 3 hours away and change custody

[smmarti]

My boyfriends ex wife has just stated she is going to move his 2 kids to 3 hours away. They have 50/50 custody, 1 week on and 1 week off and have for 3 years. All of their family lives here, both sides. She wants to move because her boyfriend moved away to this city. She states she is moving and that she wants the kids to love in the same house while in school and that she wants them school days and then he can have them every Friday Saturday and Sunday every week. The children would have to be in a car after school for 3 hours, spend only Saturday really with dad and turn around Sunday for another 3 hour drive every week! He is an amazing father, Very involved in school activities, Has gone to every softball game, award ceremony, mom attends nothing school related at all. We don't even know where to begin. The kids just started therapy a few months ago and have made extreme progress and the therapist has stated the mother gives children anxiety because of her manipulative behavior. Mother has also already told the kids they are moving.... So lost and scared. Any advice is helpful.

[tigger]

Has she notified him in writing?  If so, when is she planning to move?  (I would hope she would have sense enough to wait until the kids completed this school year.)  He'll need to file a motion to prevent the move of the child out of the current school district.  Mother is welcomed to move but children stay put.  State that it's in the best interest of the children to have stability, family close by, etc.  Mother would have to prove why/how it would be in their best interest to move away from dad and disrupt the custody arrangement.

[janM]

What state are you in? That may determine the steps he needs to take. Some are pro-move-away and some aren't, which means either the one moving has to prove it's best for the kids, or the one left behind needs to prove why it's NOT in their best interest.

[smmarti]

Thank you so much for the replies. We live in California. To be honest, she is not a good mother. She stated it in a response to a evaluation of income for child support. She attached in writing she intends to file a move away and change child support to increase it. She already told the children they are moving and they are in counseling and have just started to stabilize. So we don't know if she filed the exact paperwork but she put it in writing and attached it to a child support document. They had court today and the judge ordered a continuance because he said they didn't have proper documentation and that was all that was discussed. She is emotionally abusive to the kids:(

[passem]

Does the original settlement agreement/QDRO have any language in it regarding move-aways or anything checked that would preclude it or require her to continue he current custody arrangement and provide or pay all transportation costs?

I was both married  and divorced  in California but the latter was 20 years ago and I'm sure a lot has changed.  Best of luck!

[shuckybucky]

What do the current orders say pertaining to visitation? Usually if there is a 50/50 plan then there is also a clause for geographical restrictions because a 50/50 visitation plan only works of your within so many miles of each other. If there are restrictions already in place then she has to modify the visitation to move the children (she can move but leave the children with the father). Modifying child support is a separate issue. If there is nothing already in place to keep her from moving then file a motion. Maybe he should file for custody since he's had the children half the time and staying with him wouldn't disrupt their life but staying with Mom will. In Texas I believe you file for a family court restraining order (which states neither party can disrupt the child until a judge makes an order) as well as the request to modify and the case is heard within 2 weeks because the restraining order is time sensitive.

[MixedBag]

FYI -- QDRO -- qualified domestic relations order....